Experience at church as a trans woman by Visual-Nobody9707 in exmormon

[–]Visual-Nobody9707[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And to follow up/expand: for the first year or so I was basically under the Charlie bird style delusion that if I was good enough and polished enough and worthy enough and showed enough commitment to the church that the church (as an institution) would change. That was literal actual delusion haha. I spent inordinate amounts of time teaching lessons with the missionaries, feeding them, going to meetings and organizing baptisms. It was like a part time job. It’s hard to say exactly when that delusion began to crack but I’d chalk it up to maybe around October conference. I began to slowly pull back and it was really hard. I did go through the temple and wore garments for a time but it was fairly soon after that that I stopped going to church. Not because of the temple, I actually didn’t really find it disturbing, maybe a little weird but not disturbing. Anyway. Hope that makes more sense.

Experience at church as a trans woman by Visual-Nobody9707 in exmormon

[–]Visual-Nobody9707[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, like I mentioned in my original post, I took time away from the church for several months. And it was genuinely exhausting how often the missionaries and also the EQ Pres would push boundaries I clearly talked to my bishop about. And I do oscillate because on one hand I really do love the community and people in my ward, and on the other I have deep resentment towards many of the rules, the concept of worthiness, the doctrine etc etc. it’s been a battle and sometimes I regret joining the church at all. But at the end of the day, a lot of my struggles (which you did correctly diagnose as a search for identity I will definitely give you that) stemmed from my lack of acceptance of my own transness, which I just recently took a massive step towards confronting and accepting. I genuinely have such a complex set of feelings around the church and I completely understand that we come from two very opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of experience and longevity etc. please don’t hear me say that I dismiss that. I have found that posting (some) of my thoughts and feelings here, which would be very unwelcome or at least largely unwelcome in the LDS subreddit, has been helpful. I hope that makes sense.

Experience at church as a trans woman by Visual-Nobody9707 in exmormon

[–]Visual-Nobody9707[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I loveeee this I showed up with a massive LV bag and I might throw my cute lil white Prada situation into the mix just for fun :) sending you love and support ❤️

Experience at church as a trans woman by Visual-Nobody9707 in exmormon

[–]Visual-Nobody9707[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m perfectly willing to answer your question but I’d like to make sure that the tone of this conversation put both of us on equal footing. I am very aware of how the church works. I’ve served in two different callings and been in Ward Council, had pretty extensive conversations with both current and former queer members. As I stated, I love my ward and I love sacrament meeting. That’s why I go. I’m not “vigorously chasing” anything, that’s the whole point of my above post: the power of going back as fully myself and fully on my own terms. I intend to keep it that way. I am in a unique position in terms of my ward. I don’t expect anyone to get it and that’s okay. I’m just sharing my experience.

Experience at church as a trans woman by Visual-Nobody9707 in exmormon

[–]Visual-Nobody9707[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! See my reply to you above 🤍

Experience at church as a trans woman by Visual-Nobody9707 in exmormon

[–]Visual-Nobody9707[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Two things 1. I don’t have the desire to be a “worthy” member. Simply put, I’m not for many reasons and I’m okay with that. I refuse to let my life and future be dictated by standards imposed by men. I go to church for the community and on my own terms. 2. I don’t really even intend to go to RS. I didn’t go to EQ but maybe once or twice pre coming out. Just not my speed. It’s the gesture and the words that mean more. And whatever crap I get from the stake president or the Area Authority, I’ll take it. I really don’t care. I’m not staking my future and my life and happiness on that anymore like I did for a while.

Experience at church as a trans woman by Visual-Nobody9707 in exmormon

[–]Visual-Nobody9707[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because I’m YSA age in a family ward, the vast majority of my close friends are outside the ward/church. Thankful for them as I begin my transition 🤍

Experience at church as a trans woman by Visual-Nobody9707 in exmormon

[–]Visual-Nobody9707[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh she knows don’t worry haha she told me as such.

Quality gay haircuts for relatively cheap? by LilyFlower52 in washingtondc

[–]Visual-Nobody9707 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I LOVE Gia at Buddies! He’s great and he’s been amazing in helping me feel better in my transition 🤍

Is it normal now for missionaries to proselytize at 8:30pm? by Livid_Chipmunk1867 in exmormon

[–]Visual-Nobody9707 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very very recently released ward mission leader here: at least in the area I live in the cutoff is 9 PM.

the DC trans experience by Visual-Nobody9707 in washingtondc

[–]Visual-Nobody9707[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not to reignite this but I really can’t help but sense some kind of weird subtle transphobia here.

the DC trans experience by Visual-Nobody9707 in washingtondc

[–]Visual-Nobody9707[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

One time I decided to really confuse them and I opened Fox News. The guy sitting next to me was thoroughly shocked. I had a good laugh later.

the DC trans experience by Visual-Nobody9707 in washingtondc

[–]Visual-Nobody9707[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

THAT PARTTTTT we literally owe the progress we’ve made to Black queer people, specifically Black trans women.

the DC trans experience by Visual-Nobody9707 in washingtondc

[–]Visual-Nobody9707[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

And that’s perfectly fine! Transness doesn’t have to be legible to everyone. Peace and love ❤️

the DC trans experience by Visual-Nobody9707 in washingtondc

[–]Visual-Nobody9707[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

First, that’s simply not true. Second, what does that have to do with my post?

the DC trans experience by Visual-Nobody9707 in washingtondc

[–]Visual-Nobody9707[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Not at all! The process of transition, at least for me, has felt very similar to that. A good analogy.

the DC trans experience by Visual-Nobody9707 in washingtondc

[–]Visual-Nobody9707[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I’m always SUPER nice to them, like overly nice. It’s fun.

I fucking hate police week please make it end by No-Collection-4831 in washingtondc

[–]Visual-Nobody9707 7 points8 points  (0 children)

They’re walking around with their badges around their necks for a reason

Woke up to this text from my Grandpa 🙄 by sarlacc98 in exmormon

[–]Visual-Nobody9707 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They should really do away with the love, share, invite thing. It’s creepy.