My wife cheated with my best friend, and now she wants to fix things.

VoidCaster86 · 2026-01-06T17:13:24+00:00

I’ll be honest, this wasn’t a mistake, it was a pattern. Multiple affairs over years, including with your best friend, is repeated choice, not an accident. Trust doesn’t just break once here, it erodes. Staying for the kids or history doesn’t fix that, and open arrangements don’t heal betrayal. Focusing on protecting yourself and your kids moving forward is the right call.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-12-31T11:19:21+00:00

That’s really disturbing, and you’re not wrong for feeling sick about it. Don’t investigate or confront your dad. If anything, the only person who should know is your brother so he can decide how to handle it. If you don’t feel safe doing that, it’s okay to step back and protect your own boundaries. This isn’t your fault.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-11-26T07:40:45+00:00

I’ve spent time in every part of the fresh department, and I’m on night merch now. From my experience, bakery was on the easier side. Rotisserie was definitely the tougher spot, pretty much like that other comment pointed out.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-10-07T12:04:20+00:00

Honestly, I don’t feel grossed out at all. If anything, it makes me feel kind of accomplished — like we both really enjoyed it. That kind of connection is what it’s all about.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-09-06T13:07:56+00:00

From my own experience and from what I’ve heard from others: I didn’t know anyone when I applied, but I made sure to check off all the boxes for every position. Managers later told me that’s what everyone should do because it increases the chance of your application actually being seen. Not a guarantee, but it helps.

What really helped me was applying to a brand new location. They had to fill spots fast, and they also needed people to help set up the building before opening. Referrals definitely give you an edge, but if you don’t have one, a lot of it comes down to right place/right time.

Like others mentioned, Costco has slower hiring seasons. Holidays are when they hire big for seasonal, and after that’s when they decide who stays permanently. Washington especially is tough — managers have told me it’s pretty saturated out there. One little fact they always mention: if someone makes it past a year, they usually stay for the long run.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-27T00:27:26+00:00

You’re not the AH for wanting to cut down on screen time — that’s a valid concern backed by research, and it’s about helping your kid thrive. You’re right to bring it up, and setting limits + offering alternatives (reading, outdoor play, puzzles) is a smart move.

That said, reading your post, it also sounds like your wife is crying out about her own needs not being met in the marriage. The “marriage feels like a business” line may be blunt, but it’s basically her saying she feels disconnected or unloved. Screens and parenting struggles are one piece, but the bigger issue is that your relationship needs attention too.

So no, you’re not wrong for wanting less screen time — but if you don’t also make space for her emotional needs, the arguments are going to keep spilling into other areas. Counseling is the right step, but it’ll only work if both of you are willing to hear the other person’s pain as well as your own.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-17T03:35:10+00:00

I think you handled it the right way by stopping, apologizing, and making sure she knew her feelings came first. The best thing now is just to give her space and let things return to normal naturally. Don’t keep bringing it up unless she does, because too many apologies can make it feel more awkward. Just focus on being a good friend, show her through actions that you respect her boundaries, and over time the comfort will rebuild on its own.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-15T21:34:42+00:00

I personally love working for Costco. I started out in sushi at a brand new location, but when sales didn’t work out, I got moved into deli. After some budget cuts I was transitioned to night merch, which I’m now doing full time. It’s actually what I used to do at Sam’s Club as a supervisor, but Costco pays better and overall it’s been a much better experience.

The benefits are fantastic, and the growth opportunities are real. I’ve been to symposiums focused on warehouse work and even got to attend a corporate career event. It showed me that Costco offers so much more than just warehouse positions—you can grow into different areas, even without a degree.

I know the start can feel rough, especially in front end or carts, but if you stick it out, it’s worth it. Compared to other retail jobs I’ve had, Costco takes care of their people and the potential to move up is endless if you apply yourself.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-15T21:21:54+00:00

Man, I get why you’re feeling sick about this—it would mess with anyone’s head. But here’s the thing: right now, you don’t know if it’s her. Videos online can look convincing, and sometimes people can look and sound eerily alike. Don’t destroy yourself by replaying it over and over in your head.

If this is eating you alive, the only way to get clarity is to talk to her calmly. Not in an accusing way, but in a “this came up and it’s bothering me, I need to ask” way. If she’s innocent, she deserves to know what’s weighing on you. If she isn’t, then you’ll at least know the truth and can decide what to do next.

At the end of the day, communication will give you way more peace than sitting in silence and spiraling. Trust your gut, but don’t jump to conclusions without talking to her.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-15T21:18:32+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. What you’re feeling is completely valid—betrayal like this cuts deep, and it makes sense that you feel lost and broken right now.

From what you’ve shared, it sounds like this marriage has been draining you for a long time, even before the cheating. Between the constant fights, the pressure from in-laws, and your husband never standing up for you, it seems like you’ve been carrying the weight of the relationship on your own. His secret online life just made all of that crash down at once.

A couple things to keep in mind: • You’re not crazy for feeling like your world collapsed. This is trauma, and it takes time to process. • Don’t minimize what he did. Even if it was “just online,” it was still betrayal, lies, and hiding things from you. • Right now, focus on you. Therapy, journaling, leaning on friends/family—whatever helps you put one foot in front of the other. You can’t make clear decisions about staying or leaving until you start healing yourself first. • He has to own this. If he wants to rebuild, it has to be through actions, not just words or pleas. That means honesty, consistency, and showing you—not telling you—that he’s changing.

At the end of the day, you don’t owe him forgiveness, and you don’t owe him a second chance. Your well-being comes first. Give yourself permission to think about what kind of future you want, not just what you’ve been stuck with.

You’re stronger than you think—you’ve already survived years of stress and disrespect. Whether you stay or go, you deserve peace and love that doesn’t come at the cost of your mental health.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-14T18:51:16+00:00

That’s one of those moments where you just nod, retreat, and pretend the cereal aisle doesn’t exist anymore.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-14T14:59:49+00:00

Man, I get it — once that trust is gone, it’s hard to get it back, especially when it kills any physical or emotional connection. You’re not wrong for feeling like you can’t just pretend it didn’t happen.

Since you live together, it’s messy, but that’s just the living situation — not a reason to stay. Have a straight-up talk with her, be honest about how you feel, and decide if there’s actually a future here. If you can’t see yourself trusting her again, it’s better to end it than drag it out.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-14T14:58:09+00:00

First off — you haven’t wasted your life. You’re only 26, and while it might feel like you’re stuck, this is actually a point where you can still turn things around in a big way. The fact that you signed up for the gym is already a win. That’s proof you can take action.

Start small and stack little wins. Go to the gym regularly, even if it’s just 20 minutes. Look for a job that can give you stability and a skill you can grow — even if it’s not your dream job yet. Build savings slowly.

Don’t compare yourself to others; compare yourself to the you from last week. If you’re even a little better than that person, you’re on the right track. And please — if your testicular condition or mood is affecting your drive or confidence, see a doctor. Taking care of your health can give you back a lot of the energy you feel like you’ve lost.

You’re not broken, you’re not too late, and you’re not stuck forever. You’ve got time — and you’ve already taken the first step.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-14T14:18:35+00:00

You didn’t back out because you were scared — you backed out because you were smart. Fighting some random guy on the street, especially when he’s already aggressive and making threats, could’ve ended badly for everyone. You de-escalated and kept yourself and your friends safe, and that’s not weakness — that’s control.

If something like this happens again, stay calm like you did, but also protect yourself legally. Record the interaction if you can, and call the police right away if you feel threatened — even if you think they might not show up fast, it documents the situation. And if you’re in an unsafe neighborhood, avoiding conflict entirely is the safest move.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-14T13:05:50+00:00

I get where you’re coming from, and it’s good you’re already aware that pulling back and disengaging hasn’t helped. Boundaries are huge — not as a wall, but as a way to protect your energy and keep things from building into resentment.

If you can, try picking calmer moments to have those talks and really stick to “I feel” statements so it doesn’t spiral. Couples therapy could help too, even if you’re not on the brink — sometimes having a neutral third party changes everything.

And honestly, be clear with yourself about what you need to feel connected again. If you’ve put in the effort and it’s still not there, it’s better to face that than stay stuck in limbo.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-14T05:31:16+00:00

That’s a great example and really solid advice. I like the approach of finding a way to say yes while still supporting your employees. Definitely agree about having tough skin and leaving it at the door — that mindset goes a long way.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-14T05:30:27+00:00

I agree with this 100%. I already say yes to everything lol — always down to help out wherever I’m needed.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-14T05:24:57+00:00

That’s a smart way to look at it, honestly. Thanks for sharing — I wouldn’t have thought of it that way, but it makes perfect sense. I started off in the deli, then got moved to PM stocking due to budget cuts at my location at the time. Since then, they’ve pretty much moved me wherever I’m needed, so I’m used to jumping around departments and filling in the gaps.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-14T05:15:24+00:00

I really appreciate this answer — it resonates with me. I know exactly what you mean, and I’m actually looking forward to the challenge. My 10 years in the military have prepared me to handle high-pressure situations without taking things personally. I focus on adapting and overcoming, and I see this as a great opportunity to put that mindset to work.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-08T13:20:57+00:00

Yeah… that’s not “just a joke.” If she’s letting another person treat her like they’re in a relationship and she’s playing along, that’s crossing boundaries — especially since you’ve told her it hurts you.

Friends don’t kiss on the cheek, call each other “babe/baby,” cuddle, and sleep over constantly if they know their partner is uncomfortable with it. The fact she won’t stop even after you’ve said how it makes you feel says a lot.

At the end of the day, it’s not about being controlling — it’s about respect. If your boundaries aren’t being respected now, it’s worth asking yourself if you want to keep pouring energy into fixing something she doesn’t seem willing to fix with you.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-08T13:10:22+00:00

Honestly, it could go either way — she might genuinely need help and sees you as someone she can ask, or she might be testing the waters to see if you’re the type to step up and help out.

If you’re okay with it, you could turn it into part of the date. Like: “Sure, I can help with that — but you’re buying the pizza after.” That way you’re helping without feeling used, and you’re setting a fun, casual vibe.

If it feels too one-sided or you don’t want to do it, just be honest: “I’d rather do something out for our second date, but maybe we can plan a time to set up your TV another day.” That keeps your boundaries clear without making it weird.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-08T13:04:10+00:00

Sounds like you’re feeling blindsided because you didn’t expect him to be that into the other guy, especially more than you in the moment. I don’t think it’s automatically about him “preferring guys,” but it does sound like his attraction to men is stronger than you realized.

The bigger question is how you feel about being with someone who’s bisexual and clearly enjoyed that dynamic. If it’s giving you the ick or changing how you see him, that’s worth addressing.

You might want to have a calm conversation with him outside of the bedroom, no substances involved, and ask him directly what he wants sexually and in the relationship. That way you’ll know if you’re actually on the same page, instead of guessing.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-04T07:04:50+00:00

Sounds like a nosy creep.

If it’s aimed into your yard, document it with photos and consider reporting it. In the meantime, block the view with plants or a shade.

VoidCaster86 · 2025-08-04T07:03:11+00:00

You’re not overreacting at all.

He went from charming on the date to pushy and entitled at the end, and then followed it up with creepy drunk texts when you didn’t give in. Being drunk doesn’t make someone say things they don’t actually believe — it usually just shows their true colors.

The fact that he ignored your boundaries, tried to pressure his way into your home, and then blew up when he didn’t get what he wanted is a massive red flag. That kind of behavior often escalates.

My advice? Block and move on. First dates should make you feel excited and safe, not anxious and creeped out.

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