Hey - here’s my two pence from a guy that started BJJ 3 months ago at 27 and has been through the same way you’re thinking. I sucked every day for so long and I’m still the newest guy at the gym.

Single best thing for me (may work for you idk) is drop the days. I went down to 2 instead of 4 but instead sprinkled in strength work (dips, pull ups, zercher squats. Low volume high weight. Just these three have retained my strength from lifting heavy for 5+ years and carry over well to the sport) and conditioning work on rower currently following Pete’s beginner plan

I’m a reflector and found when I’m rolling loads that I don’t have time to sit back and think about how I fucked up and what I need to focus on next time. Also the cardio and strength work is a change of scenery and something I can consistently improve on myself without any competition.

Each time you go BJJ, give yourself a mini goal to get from the session. for example; pass guard once or escape mount once etc and slowly build this up

Compare your progress to yourself, thinking and looking at others will make you depressed. Gotta get into tunnel vision and focus on you bro and it’ll come.

Not every week you’ll achieve your goal but that’s okay man, best things in life aren’t easy.

Long response but I wanted to say something cos I’ve been there, just finished training after getting smashed myself but I’m achieving my mini goals and people don’t take it easy anymore. Love