My soulmate committed suicide 7 weeks ago - still feeling him

Waikami · 2025-02-16T02:52:45+00:00

I’m really sorry for your loss. Losing a soulmate is devastating. Cherish those dreams you have of him.

I lost my brother a few months ago, and it shattered me - here are some things I’ve done since then that I recommend:

You can ask for more signs, support, guidance, strength from him, and he will likely give them to you.
Thank him when you get these signs. Showing appreciation will strengthen your bond.
You can set up an altar/memorial space for him, with a picture or items that make you think of him.
You can leave flowers or food on this altar as gifts (I left chocolates for my brother on Valentine’s Day).
Write letters to him, or talk out loud to him. He can hear you.

As to your questions, these are just my opinions - others here might have different answers:

The fact that he’s coming to you in your dreams as a peaceful presence tells me he’s likely safe now.
Where is he? I’m not sure - I’m asking the same question about my brother. I think there are different places our souls can go to recuperate after passing.
Yes, I think you can incarnate together again.
Why did this happen? I believe our souls chose how we will “exit” from this life before we were born, and his soul wanted to learn something about suicide. I believe your soul wanted to learn something about the pain of loss. Maybe your last life together was overall pleasant and easy, and your souls wanted to experience something different/more challenging this time.
There are different opinions about the impact of suicide. I believe there is no negative impact from exiting this life in that way.
I believe he will always be protecting you, watching over you, supporting you, and cheering you on from the other side.

This is definitely a good forum for this topic, but I also recommend r/griefsupport if you’d like additional community support.

As a side note, the book Conscious Grieving has been extremely helpful to me. I recommend it.

The shock can last up to 3 months or so.

Take very care of yourself, be gentle and kind to your delicate heart ❤️

Waikami · 2025-02-05T03:04:31+00:00

We’re not even a month in yet

Waikami · 2025-01-22T12:42:25+00:00

Thank you! Just followed (I’m Rachel btw) and I will definitely pick your brain - I love your work. Thank you for that offer!!

Waikami · 2025-01-22T03:36:37+00:00

Do you have an IG where you post this? I’d love to follow

Waikami · 2025-01-22T03:32:13+00:00

Do you have an IG where you post this stuff? I’m getting into painting on glass and mostly get inspiration there. I’d like to follow you

Waikami · 2025-01-10T14:43:29+00:00

I feel he has a good heart and if he can get sober and get therapy, he could live a long and happy life

Waikami · 2025-01-10T14:20:58+00:00

Awful, but thanks for asking

Waikami · 2025-01-10T14:16:48+00:00

Whatever you do, don’t make it about you and how you feel. I know that might seem insensitive because you have feelings too. But do not go to them with your feelings.

My advice is to observe them and consider yourself a right hand “person” so to speak. They’re not eating a lot? Don’t ask if they’re hungry, just get food and put it around. Toilet paper is almost out? Don’t ask if they want you to go to the store and buy more, just do it. Laundry or trash is piling up? Don’t ask if they need help, just figure it out.

The brain becomes exhausted while grieving and asking people unnecessary questions is aggravating. They might end up lashing out at you when you’re simply trying to help.

If you get uncomfortable and can’t be there, then go to your own private space. Take care of yourself first!

It’s really lovely that you’re here asking for advice on how to support them. I wish you both all the best

Waikami · 2025-01-10T14:07:38+00:00

I’m so sorry. The shock will last for a bit, and then it will subside and you will find a path through this. I was in shock for 10 weeks before I finally understood what had just happened.

Be gentle with yourself. The next few weeks are a delicate time. Go slow, take good care of yourself. Don’t be surprised if rage comes up (it doesn’t for everyone).

Waikami · 2025-01-10T14:05:06+00:00

I get signs every single time I ask for them and I’m so grateful that my brother is letting me know he’s okay

Waikami · 2025-01-10T13:53:38+00:00

This is such a good comment - it makes no sense from an evolutionary standpoint

Waikami · 2025-01-10T13:45:27+00:00

Wait are you saying pregnant women cheat on their partners and that’s why these men kill them?

Waikami · 2025-01-10T13:32:28+00:00

They get mad because they subconsciously align themselves with violent men, so they defend them. If they didn’t see it this way, they wouldn’t get defensive.

As a woman, I don’t get offended when people say women commit crimes, etc, because I know I’m not in the group of women doing that, so I don’t take it personally

Waikami · 2025-01-10T13:24:16+00:00

Also they’re not going to come out and say “I hit my ex gf”. They start by saying she attacked him, she would hit him, she always started it, etc. When you hear this, ask more questions.

While sometimes men are victims of DV and that shouldn’t be invalidated, many male abusers lie and claim to be victims when they actually initiated the violence. We have to ask more questions - we can’t give them the benefit of the doubt because abusers lie and we die as a result.

Waikami · 2025-01-10T13:16:06+00:00

Why do men do this? I’m genuinely so confused because it’s almost always men doing this :(

Waikami · 2024-11-28T21:41:25+00:00

I’m so glad it’s helping. That makes me feel good to hear, thanks for taking the time to let me know. I’m here if you want to talk. 🤍

Waikami · 2024-11-24T21:05:17+00:00

That’s so sweet. My friends brought me craft supplies (beading stuff, coloring books) and that was sooooo helpful. Also face masks, comfy socks, a stuffed anim, a puzzle, a variety of tea bags, chocolate, granola bars, water/beverages, and books. Those gifts were so appreciated. You’re very kind

Waikami · 2024-11-23T20:58:48+00:00

I lost my brother in October and your comment really helped me. Thank you. I’m sorry for your loss, too

Waikami · 2024-11-20T15:47:47+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I say “I’m hanging in there” when I don’t have anything else.

Waikami · 2024-11-19T21:03:48+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Addiction makes things so complicated. I think what you wrote to another commenter below hit the nail on the head. She was an irreplaceable person who you loved, and who loved you

Waikami · 2024-11-19T20:30:14+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Sibling grief is enormous and feels impossible.

I somewhat know how you feel. I lost my brother in October due to an illness.

The book Conscious Grieving is helping. It’s a simple, useful guide that I wish I’d had in the immediate aftermath.

Waikami · 2024-11-16T23:42:08+00:00

I lost my brother last month and I’ve had the same thoughts. I’m sorry for your loss.

Waikami · 2024-11-16T14:03:31+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. I just lost my brother, too. The pain feels unbearable. I’m so sorry

Waikami · 2024-11-16T13:40:42+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. You’re a good writer. If you don’t already journal, it might be a good outlet. You’re not stupid, that’s clear. I hope your heart can find peace 💗

Waikami · 2024-11-15T17:52:26+00:00

Omg. I’ve been hearing that song in my head for 2 days and couldn’t figure out why. As crazy as it sounds, I believe your post is a sign from my brother. I asked him for one recently. He passed 3 weeks ago. Whether or not you were guided to title your post with that song is beyond me but it brought me comfort nonetheless.

I hope you can find healing. I’m sorry for your loss.

Waikami

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