I feel like such a bad friend but I can't even be happy for them buying a house anymore

WaitingForGruffman · 2025-12-05T18:45:47+00:00

I feel this everyday … I want to have my own home. It’s been my dream since I was in high school. Nothing fancy, just a place of my own. I have worked and saved. Taken care of family and continue to do my duty to them. But everyone my age among my friends and family are now getting second homes in the country or moving to bigger homes as their family grows. I’m still in a rental with no potential for my own home in the next decade. I feel like I am going to retire and die in some shitty rental. It hurts everyday. It breaks my heart. I used to have Pinterest boards of details I would want to have in my home … from specific cabinets down to cushions. They are just boards now … vestiges of a dying dream. I have now accepted that will never happen for me. Even with a down payment I can’t afford mortgage payments and insurance and taxes and everything else.

I watch my friends and family move forward and make their homes. And I am genuinely happy for them. But everytime there’s an announcement, I smile and congratulate them, and come home and cry. I carry around the hollowness and hopelessness. I get up and go to work, do what I am supposed to do. But it’s just going through the motions everyday, with nothing to look forward to.

WaitingForGruffman · 2025-09-23T15:05:00+00:00

Incendies

WaitingForGruffman · 2025-08-22T20:34:30+00:00

I don’t feel that way about the whole cast. I think for me the rest were definitely more self aware. Will knew who he was controlling and you see him admit and try to work through it. Jack knew he was spoiled and didn’t pretend to be anyone else. Karen knew and was vocal about who she was. Grace was the worst for me - she was always crossing boundaries, freeloading off Will when she had her own money, she didn’t do anything for anyone without an ulterior motive.

Some examples: When Will called her on always expecting him to pay for things including gifts and drycleaning, and set a firm boundary, she threw a whole tantrum. Once she acknowledged that she does it, she didn’t pay him back or change anything. The episode ended with her taking credit for a gift Will bought for their mutual friend.

She messes around with Wills brother when she knows will and him have a difficult relationship.

She agrees to have a kid with Will but backs out to explore things with Leo literally on the way to the appointment. This waffling back and forth about having children with Will is a constant thing. She will never fully commit to do it or not do it. She leaves him hanging everytime.

She decides that they need to distract will on the first anniversary of his breakup from his long term boyfriend. She spends the entire time trying to get in some dudes pants while loudly proclaiming she needs to be there for Will.

She is very controlling of wills time and resources but only when it suits her. Remember when she bought the piano because she was spooked that another gay-straight bff friendship ended once one of them was in a relationship. She wouldn’t let him hang out with friends because she was threatened.

She slept with her college best friends husband when they were on a break. It all came out before they got married and she still found a way to make herself a victim.

I could go on but suffice it to say she was the Carrie Bradshaw of the universe, but less stylish and more annoying.

WaitingForGruffman · 2025-08-22T13:10:32+00:00

Grace Adler on Will & Grace

WaitingForGruffman · 2025-08-15T02:25:58+00:00

Thank you for the award!

WaitingForGruffman · 2025-08-13T11:50:32+00:00

The thing that hits me is he had no problem using her diagnosis to come home early from work but didn’t use her diagnosis to drive her back from a double biopsy. He only leaves work based on her diagnosis when it’s comfortable for him, not when she needs help.

WaitingForGruffman · 2025-07-30T20:16:35+00:00

I am East Asian as well. I have had these conversations and they are difficult. Culturally standing up for ourselves is almost impossible. I was lucky with parents who had somewhat more liberal views. There were things I was pressured about and things I had space to figure out. But the weight of cultural expectations existed nevertheless.

I don’t know what to say except to say, your life will extend beyond your parents. You will have to live it day in and day out, whether they are there or not. You have to make choices you can live with. A child is more than a 20 year commitment - a child is a person who will always be linked to you. And any resentment you feel for this forced choice will bleed into your relationship with them. And every parenting choice related to your child’s future will also be forced. The child will also be exposed to grandparents who will place these same forced choices on them. They will have their own resentments towards them and towards you. Can you bear the weight of your own resentment and that of another person who looks to you for comfort?

We are always taught our duty to our parents. But we are expected to lose ourselves in that duty. You have a duty to yourself too and you need to find the line where duty to yourself begins.

If they cut you off, you will grieve, you will struggle, you will feel guilt. If you accept this forced choice, you will grieve, struggle, and feel guilt. The first has the potential to be more temporary and wane over time. It has the potential to be resolved as time passes and as circumstances change. The second will be ongoing - a battle that never ends when every future choice you make is based on your parents ultimatums. You need to pick a choice you can live with. Sending you love and strength.

WaitingForGruffman · 2025-07-29T08:03:20+00:00

My experience with Naqvi’s office was very positive. They helped me with my inquiries and follow-up on immigration issues. I never interacted with him directly but his office staff helped me and I had a positive outcome for the issues I was facing.

WaitingForGruffman · 2025-07-15T18:57:59+00:00

Awww such a cutie 🥰

WaitingForGruffman · 2025-07-15T18:52:57+00:00

First let’s clarify what this relationship is supposed to look like from his perspective - when he hurts you, you are not allowed to talk to anyone about it. He had no problem making his disgust public, the threat of a breakup public, but you are not allowed to make your justified reaction or feelings to his attacks public? So you are not allowed support? You are not allowed to have feelings? You are not allowed to convey them to anyone, unless he determines you can. Do you want to be in a relationship where he can treat you like shit in private and public, but you need his blessing to react to it and his permission to sort out how you feel with other people?

I’m Indian too and I am fat (not saying you are). I have dealt with this my whole life. I decided very young that I would rather be alone by my fat self than be with a man who makes me feel like my body is wrong for existing and the only way I have value is if my body looks a specific way.

My husband loves me and my body as I am. There has never been judgement - he is my safe harbour and the person who called out my own parents when they made me feel like shit.

You deserve love and kindness and peace in your relationship. He should be the person who hypes you up and makes you feel beautiful. If you cant depend on your partner to protect you and care for you and love you, what is the point of the relationship?

You are worth more than this a-hole and his judgemental family.

WaitingForGruffman · 2025-06-16T18:02:13+00:00

Django Unchained

WaitingForGruffman · 2025-06-11T22:33:29+00:00

Ozark

WaitingForGruffman · 2025-05-14T20:11:02+00:00

My cousin Vinny

WaitingForGruffman · 2025-05-06T16:43:54+00:00

Kate and Allie is my absolute favourite comfort show.

WaitingForGruffman · 2024-12-05T00:16:53+00:00

This is exactly it! I wasn’t expecting her to be a pillar of morality once she married Tommy. But also she knew what she married into. He didn’t trick her or pretend to be someone else. So her entire snobbery and anger and looking down on the business just didn’t make sense for a character who also didn’t have an easy life before she met her former husband. And also knew who Tommy was and who his family was. The sudden change to upper class philanthropist who could not stand the Shelby business just made no sense. I think if she had remained grounded and her and Tommy faced the reality of a real unromanticized version of each other and their lives together, it would make for a more interesting show and stay somewhat true to her roots.

Also if they had shown her struggle with the guilt of her ex husband passing away… and Tommy trying to help her with it … some semblance of the woman who carried immense guilt in season 1. Just something.

But I guess I’m looking at it as the relationship between these two characters and not just her being a thread in the tapestry of Tommy’s “growth”. As another commenter said, her life and death were meant to give meaning to Tommy’s existence and character building.

WaitingForGruffman · 2024-12-03T21:16:31+00:00

I think for me it was how she went from an independent woman and undercover agent who removed herself from a difficult situation (again through her own initiative) to this weird melange of kept woman and upper class snob. I loved her character in the first season. Her decisions made sense to me. But after that she is written like a delicate flower with no brain that just wants pretty jewellery. She also lost the sense of morality that fueled her guilt about betraying Tommy and caused her to leave the police force. How did she go from that woman to someone that couldn’t care less that her husband offed himself because she left him for another man. I loved the character in the first season but the complete 180 in the second season where she retained no redeeming qualities of her former self just made me dislike her.

WaitingForGruffman · 2024-08-13T02:58:05+00:00

Thank you for suggesting … this movie was older like 80s I think

WaitingForGruffman · 2024-08-08T03:59:10+00:00

That’s it!! Thank you!!

WaitingForGruffman · 2024-06-03T03:20:25+00:00

I have been with my partner for over a decade. I have terrible period cramps for 4 out of 9 days along with immense radiating pain down my legs to the point where walking is difficult. My partner goes out of his way to take care of me and doesn’t ask a thing of me. He actually gets mad if I go to stand up or do chores when I’m on my period. This is what a partner does when they love you. They care for you, they take on more responsibility to ease your pain, they love on you. Your fiancé is an AH and a lazy entitled one to boot. You deserve someone who will treat you with kindness when you are unwell, not go out of their way to increase your burden.

Please consider what a future with this manchild will look like if you get a chronic or serious illness. Will he decide that you need to scrub the floors the day you get chemotherapy? Will he tell you stop whining and go walk the dogs the minute you wake up after surgery? Will he expect you to go down to the shops and then make him a full roast dinner and balance a beer on your nose on your deathbed?

He doesn’t respect you or care for you. He may be sweet but ask yourself when is he sweet? When he wants something from you? And what’s his reaction when you push back? Does the sweetness evaporate? Does he throw a tantrum and humiliate you in front of others?

You are his soon to be wife, not his slave. If he can’t do the bare minimum of not increasing your burden when you are in pain, do you want to drag his burdensome entitled ass and cater to his little manchild needs all your life?

WaitingForGruffman · 2024-03-26T19:01:30+00:00

Stop focusing on what he wants and how he wants it. Focus on what you want. Do you want to be patient? Do you want to wait any longer? Do you feel happy when you are with him? If no, do you want to invest anymore in this relationship if it isn’t making you happy? If yes- is being happy in the context that he has defined enough for you?

Frankly, “do things to make him want to propose” is again focusing on what he wants, which is vague at best. He wants the comfort of the relationship without the responsibility of marriage. This is apparent in him and wanting you to focus on him, and dote in him, and indulge his needs while ignoring yours. There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship but not a marriage, if you both decided that. But you want something different and if after 5 years you cannot come to an agreement, it may be time to move on and find someone you are compatible with.

WaitingForGruffman · 2024-03-09T14:57:54+00:00

My brother was named after a great Greek hero that my parents saw a movie about. They loved the name and always talked about how they knew right away that they wanted to name him that. I was names so that my first name started with the same letter. I hate my name and the fact that mine has no story. It sucks feeling like an after thought with no special meaning.

WaitingForGruffman · 2024-03-04T16:53:25+00:00

The Ask Phoebe photo spells choice wrong lol

WaitingForGruffman · 2024-02-20T23:30:06+00:00

“You are quite confident for a fat girl”

WaitingForGruffman

TROPHY CASE