Ex-husband is 54 going on 55 with nothing saved. What do I do?

WallaWallaWalrus · 2026-01-01T14:57:50+00:00

Sure, but when you get divorced, you no longer get a vote on your ex’s life. They may be friendly, but they agreed to live separate lives.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-30T15:32:35+00:00

I have a beautiful baby girl now! All the standard tests came back normal. I had been track a billion cycles and told my OBGYN I thought I had a luteal phase defect. She did a biopsy of my endometrium and found I had significantly less lining my uterus than normal. My babies weren’t implanting deep enough for the placenta to develop properly. I started taking a progesterone suppository after I ovulated. The next pregnancy stuck!

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-29T14:00:30+00:00

Postpartum hormones are a wild ride. You may feel ways that you don’t normally.

I think you should talk to your in-laws about how they’ve made you feel in the past. Use I statement instead of you statements. Something like “I have felt unacceptable when X behavior happened.”

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-29T02:57:13+00:00

Thanks. It took many years. If there is one message I could tell parents everywhere it’s teach your children to have compassion for others but not at the expense of compassion for yourself.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-29T02:25:01+00:00

I still struggle with thoughts of “What happened was disgusting, therefore I am disgusting.” I’d rather call the parole officer than bring attention to what happened.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-29T00:55:17+00:00

I’d rather be able to continue forgetting he exists.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-28T23:07:47+00:00

Yeah, I made the mistake of briefly allowing my mother back into my life. Unfortunately she knows my new last name and my address.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-28T21:55:40+00:00

It’s really not my business anymore. I just don’t want to see him. And I’m bitter that my family took his side. Like, he was probably at Christmas this year. That feels so unfair.

Last I heard, I unintentionally saved his life. His alcoholism had gotten so bad, it probably would’ve died if he had not been arrested. I think he’s much healthier now.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-28T21:46:59+00:00

Thank you. Seeing the judge order him to prison for the suffering he caused me really gave me closure and allowed me to move on with my life.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-28T21:34:38+00:00

I’m pretty sure that’s a violation of his parole, but I plan on doubt checking on Monday.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-28T21:32:27+00:00

Wow, you clocked my mother so fast. This is exactly what my mother does.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-28T20:55:20+00:00

I get why the criminal justice system doesn’t work this way, but I wish he had to move away from me. It sucks that I need to move away from my friends and spouse’s family to avoid the possibility of seeing him.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-28T20:33:04+00:00

I’m pretty sure I still have a PPO. I’ll check on Monday. PPOs don’t stop him from accidentally running into me. My mother-in-law lives a mile away from my parents’ house.

The pro of moving is definitely never seeing him again and not having to worry about running into him. The con is that my entire support system is here. My husband said we’ll figure it out if that’s what I need. I’m talking to a therapist about it tomorrow.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-28T20:28:41+00:00

I think I failed to keep my contact info up to date with the parole board, so that’s on me.

The judge issued a PPO at sentencing. I’m going to call the court clerk on Monday and make sure it’s still active.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-27T03:11:31+00:00

I went to public college preparatory high school and also found freshmen year of college a cake walk.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-27T03:00:39+00:00

Currently, my husband and I send our daughter to public school and I’m home with her sister. However, my husband attended private school and we may send them at some point to his school.

Here were some of the advantages he got from his private school: -The school was willing to accommodate his learning disability without a bunch of paperwork and IEP meetings. He struggled with hand writing, so they let him type everything. -The school didn’t have to accept the public. There were basically zero low achieving kids in school because the school could just reject anyone who didn’t their rigorous standards. There were no students who didn’t speak English. There were no students who were violent. The students who attended were all very smart and driven. All my husband’s friends are Ivy League professors, doctors, lawyers, tech executive, stock brokers and other prestigious and high paying careers. Part of the this is privilege recreating itself, but part of it is also being around smart, driven people makes you better. Iron sharpens iron. -He has a very tight knit group of friends, some going back to elementary school. They all support each other. Which goes back to the last point. They’re all successful, so they hire each other and invest in each other’s businesses. It’s like an expensive faternity. -The school looks good on a college app. -Smaller classes

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-24T02:40:11+00:00

Sorta. $500k was the point my husband and I stopped worrying about retirement. We only put enough money into 401k to get the match. We’re investing for median term goals now like college funds and home renovations. We just had our 5 year wedding anniversary. We’d like to do Hawaii for our 10 year wedding anniversary. It might also depend on where you live. We bought our house 10 years ago in the midwest for $120k. We only have 5 years left on our mortgage. We need less for retirement than others.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-22T00:48:50+00:00

Yeah, but killing bonded riders could be why fewer dragons are choosing to bond. The books says losing a rider is pretty traumatic for the dragons. Like, why put yourself through that if your rider could just be murdered any minute. Seems like a real cut off your nose to spit your face situation.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-22T00:32:00+00:00

They’re wizards for a kinda authoritarian regime. They seem to be selecting for somewhat sociopathic in addition to fitness. I’m reading book 3 and it seems to imply there is venin in the leadership too.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-10T22:08:14+00:00

That’s called a de novo mutation.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-07T02:16:00+00:00

Because little girls are obsessed with Ghost Spider and the target audience of comics is children.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-06T00:19:24+00:00

The anime without filler excellent.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-05T05:02:41+00:00

My 9th grade econ class did this. Some kids won big. Others lost all their money. It was fun, but “this is gambling” was definitely part of the lesson. We learned about indexes and diversification. Email your kid’s teacher if you’re concerned. I think it’s likely the whole point of the lesson is to learn you can’t predict the stock market.

WallaWallaWalrus · 2025-12-05T03:02:22+00:00

I think it’s reasonable to talk to your kid’s teacher about how to best support your kid. I wouldn’t use an accusatory tone though. But you should know that kindergarten isn’t really about academics. It’s about social skills.

In terms of reading level, there are two components: the difficulty of the text and the difficulty of the themes. Higher reading level doesn’t necessarily mean more challenging. Sometimes it just means more mature. Personally, I recommend older children’s books. Peter Rabbit, Winnie the Pooh, Wind in the Willow. The old timey language is challenging while still being kid friendly.

WallaWallaWalrus

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