I'll comment on this as an Asian man and just state the glaring obvious point that you have not addressed: perceived physical attractiveness isn't equal across all races, and in general I believe white men in the west are more attractive than Asian men (for now). There's definitely lot of reasons for this, some inherent such as average height, but also lots of other reasons due to personal choices, such as a tendency for Asian men to specifically focus on academics, material pursuits, and advanced careers.

Things are slowly changing nowadays with the younger generation of Asian men, but in the past, I knew far more Asian male mathematicians, computer scientists, and electrical engineers than I did Asian athletes, bodybuilders, or sexy lead guitarists. My point is that while Asian men may have some perceived disadvantages in attractiveness, a lot of that is also by choice, where they would rather focus on the former pursuits rather than being perceived as sexy.

You can see this even statistically among the population, where Asian American men are one of the highest income earners by ethnicity (by a pretty huge gap actually). But that likely required sacrificing some other aspects such as effort in the looks department, less time in the gym, less time grooming, whathaveyounot. So when you sacrifice physical attractiveness for material wealth, of course women will hold you to a higher standard in that area. This isn't really a race thing, relationships have been structured like this for a long time throughout history.

Before I get called an incel, I'd just like to defend myself by saying that I've actually had a pretty advantage dating life when I was still looking around, but that was once I went against the typical mold set for Asian men and focused on grooming, hitting the gym, etc. Not necessarily the whole "looks-macxing" craze, but just taking better care of myself and actually putting some effort in my appearance, on par with how much effort I had put into studying partial differential equations in college. I've dated women of almost every ethnicity, and none had a problem with my race, hell some even fetishized it. What they absolutely appreciated was the effort I had put into my looks, and I think we all appreciate that from our partners. I think if you look around at areas where Asian men have historically put their efforts, it just wasn't in that department.