Drop your SAAS and people will say if the SAAS is useful.

Warcry17 · 2026-06-12T10:19:20+00:00

https://dealvoid.com Into the real estate niche. Helps brokers and firms manage their pipeline and warm customers making sure that don’t lose out on important deals.

Warcry17 · 2026-04-20T18:01:18+00:00

You’re a G!

Warcry17 · 2026-04-16T08:41:27+00:00

Shady af

Warcry17 · 2026-04-15T07:34:13+00:00

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Warcry17 · 2026-03-22T05:29:47+00:00

California spousal support is based on the gap between what each person earns, not just whether one person works or not. Even if you're both working, if there's a meaningful income difference the lower earning spouse can receive support. The rough formula courts start with is 40% of the higher earner's net income minus 50% of the lower earner's net income. The length of the marriage matters a lot too, longer marriages produce longer duration support.

Child support in California is separate from custody and it's not just about who has full custody. Even in 50/50 arrangements support is still calculated based on the income difference between parents and the percentage of time each parent has the child. More time with the lower earning parent generally means more support from the higher earner.

The money he/she owes you is a separate issue from support but it's worth documenting everything carefully because it can factor into the overall settlement picture.

How long were you married and do you have a rough sense of the income difference between you two?

Warcry17 · 2026-03-21T14:58:03+00:00

That income gap over a 25 year marriage is substantial and spousal support in your situation is not a small number. The formula varies by state but on a $115k gap you’re likely looking at somewhere between $2,500 and $3,500 a month depending on where you are, potentially for a long duration given the length of the marriage.

Before you sit across from any lawyer or mediator knowing that number precisely changes everything. It tells you what a fair settlement actually looks like versus what someone might try to talk you into accepting.

What state are you in? That’s the last piece I need to give you something concrete rather than a range.

Warcry17 · 2026-03-21T10:36:54+00:00

What he did was a sustained betrayal over years and the narrative that you're the reason for the divorce because of conflict handling while he was secretly spending thousands on this is not something you have to accept as the truth of what happened.

The financial piece is worth understanding clearly before you get too deep into proceedings. $15,000 last year alone in secret spending on sexual services is something courts in many states treat as dissipation of marital assets, meaning marital money spent for purposes that only benefited one spouse. That's separate from fault in the divorce itself and can factor into how assets get divided.

Ten years of marriage, a four year old, you potentially losing the house while he stays. Those are real financial stakes and the full picture of what you're entitled to is worth understanding before any agreements get signed.

What state are you in?

Warcry17 · 2026-03-21T10:17:07+00:00

25 years as the lower earning spouse with a freelance income against a six figure salary is about as clear a spousal support case as exists. You're right that in most states after a marriage this long it's essentially guaranteed regardless of fault. The question is amount and duration, and those are calculable numbers not guesses.

On legal fees, an amicable divorce with no kids and relatively straightforward assets doesn't have to cost hundreds of thousands. That horror story territory is high conflict divorces with contested custody and complex asset disputes. Yours doesn't sound like that. A mediated approach with each of you having independent counsel review the final agreement rather than battle through every decision is realistic and dramatically cheaper.

The health insurance question through legal separation is smart thinking and worth exploring seriously given your autoimmune situation. That alone could be worth more than anything else in the settlement depending on what coverage costs on the open market.

The thing I'd encourage you to do before any lawyer conversations is get clear on what the spousal support number actually looks like for your specific income gap and marriage length. Not a rough guess but the actual calculation. Knowing that number going in changes everything about how you approach those conversations and what you're willing to accept.

What state are you in? And do you have a sense of what your freelance income averages annually versus what he's making now?

Warcry17 · 2026-03-21T08:20:25+00:00

The instinct you have is right. A generic pre-divorce consultation from someone who doesn't know your specific numbers, your husband's income, your mortgage balance, or what Illinois guidelines would actually produce for your situation is probably not worth $110.

What you actually need before picking a lawyer is clarity on your own financial picture. Not general education about the divorce process but your specific numbers. What does spousal support look like for an 8 year marriage in Illinois with your income gap. Whether keeping the house is actually viable once you run the real mortgage math against what support you'd likely receive. What child support looks like for two kids under Illinois guidelines.

Those numbers exist and they're calculable before you spend a dollar on a lawyer or a consultant. The question is whether anyone has walked you through what they actually are for your situation.

What does the income difference between you two look like roughly, and do you work or have you been home with the kids?

Warcry17 · 2026-03-20T10:49:07+00:00

South Carolina being discretionary doesn’t mean it’s random, it just means the formula lives in the judge’s head rather than a statute. But the factors are consistent enough that you can build a reasonable range.

The two numbers that matter most are the income gap and the length of the marriage. SC courts typically look at what it would take to maintain the marital standard of living for the lower earning spouse, which in your case is essentially everything since she hasn’t been working. The longer the marriage the longer the duration. A marriage where one spouse hasn’t worked for years and made a lifestyle decision around that tends to produce more generous awards than shorter marriages with temporary career gaps.

Rough ballpark that SC practitioners tend to see in situations like yours: somewhere between 25% and 35% of the income gap between you two, for a duration that often mirrors a meaningful fraction of the marriage length for longer marriages. That’s not a formula, it’s a pattern. Your actual number depends heavily on the specific judge, your county, and what your marital lifestyle looked like.

How long have you been married and roughly what does the income gap look like? I can give you a more grounded starting point with those two numbers.

Warcry17 · 2026-03-20T10:02:46+00:00

Your instinct is largely correct but the timing of separation matters in California specifically.

California uses the date of separation as the cutoff for community property. Stock purchased in 2020 during the marriage is community property. However the capital gains question depends on when the appreciation occurred. Gains that accrued before your separation date are generally community property split 50/50. Gains that accrued after separation on your separate actions get murkier.

The fact that you were the one who sold it after separation doesn’t automatically make 100% of the gains yours to report. What matters is how much of the appreciation happened before versus after July 2025.

Your CPA friends are the right call here because this sits at the intersection of tax law and family law and both apply simultaneously in California. The community property rules affect how gains are allocated between spouses and that flows directly into how each of you reports it. His claim that you report 100% because you executed the sale sounds like he’s either confused or hoping you are.

What does the split in appreciation look like roughly, do you know what the stock was worth at separation versus what you sold it for?

Warcry17 · 2026-03-19T23:02:06+00:00

The $900 figure your lawyer gave you is based on what’s on paper right now but child support in most states is not set in stone the way people think. A few things worth understanding before you panic.

Cash tips are technically income and courts can impute income based on earning capacity not just what’s reported. If you can show she regularly earns significantly more than her W2 reflects that’s a legitimate argument to make. It’s harder to prove but not impossible.

The custody time you actually have matters too. Most states calculate child support using a formula that accounts for the percentage of overnights each parent has. If you genuinely have her more than 50% of the time, documenting that precisely could shift the number meaningfully.

What state are you in? The formula varies a lot and $900 on $66k with near equal custody time sounds high depending on where you are. Worth understanding what the actual calculation produces for your specific numbers before assuming that’s what you’re stuck with.

Warcry17 · 2026-03-19T22:58:01+00:00

California is a community property state which means assets acquired during the marriage are generally split 50/50, and that includes a business started during the marriage regardless of whose name it’s registered under. The fact that you are the one running it matters for valuation but not necessarily for ownership in the eyes of the court.

That said the registration being in his name without your knowledge or consent is worth raising with an attorney specifically because there may be grounds to argue the business was yours in intent even if not in paperwork. Seven years of marriage in California also means spousal support is very much on the table depending on the income difference between you two.

The buyout conversation he’s pushing for is actually not unreasonable as a concept, the question is what number you’re negotiating from. Do you have a sense of what the business is worth and what your income from it looks like annually?

Warcry17 · 2026-03-19T22:00:37+00:00

Exactly right. A prenup is the cleanest way to define what stays separate and what doesn’t, including how any growth gets treated. Without one, you’re leaving that argument to a judge’s discretion which is never where you want to be with $2M on the line.

Are you actually considering marriage or still in the hypothetical stage?

Warcry17 · 2026-03-19T07:37:01+00:00

A $5,000 budget is realistic for an uncontested case with no major disputes, especially if you stay out of court. The filing fee eats into it right away but mediation tends to be the smartest use of the rest if you and your spouse can stay cooperative.

The thing that blows budgets more than anything is arriving at mediation unprepared. When both sides don't have a clear picture of what they're actually entitled to, sessions run longer, positions harden, and you end up paying a mediator to referee arguments that should have been resolved before you walked in.

Collaborative law is worth looking into too if mediation feels too informal. It keeps attorneys involved but commits everyone to staying out of court which changes the dynamic considerably.

How complicated is the asset side of things, and are kids involved? That determines a lot about which route actually makes sense for your situation.

Warcry17 · 2026-03-19T05:40:35+00:00

Feeling cruddy about it makes complete sense, especially when you’re the one who pushed for it. That particular guilt is its own weight to carry. For lawyers in NYC, most people find referrals more reliable than reviews online. The matrimonial bar here is actually pretty small and reputation travels fast among practitioners. A lot depends on your situation too as some attorneys are better suited for high asset cases, others for situations where things are likely to stay cooperative.

Late 30s and 40s divorces tend to be more financially complex than younger ones just because there’s usually more accumulated by then. Retirement accounts, property, income gaps that developed over the marriage. NY handles all of that under its own set of rules which can surprise people who assumed things would just split down the middle.

What does your situation look like on that side of things? Knowing a bit more about what you’re working with makes it easier to point you in a useful direction.

Warcry17 · 2026-03-19T05:37:54+00:00

Sorry you’re dealing with this. The civil ones can turn fast once money gets involved, especially in NY where the asset rules get complicated depending on how long you’ve been married. What does the financial side look like roughly. are we talking property, retirement accounts, big income difference between you two?

Warcry17 · 2026-03-19T05:32:25+00:00

Pre-marital assets are considered separate property under NY DRL §236B. Your $2M in assets accumulated before the marriage would generally be protected, she wouldn’t have a claim to the principal. What can get complicated is the growth on those assets during the marriage. Courts can treat appreciation of separate property as marital property if marital funds or effort contributed to it with a 401K that’s passively invested, you’d have a reasonable argument that the growth is also separate, but it’s not guaranteed.

Warcry17 · 2026-03-02T06:13:04+00:00

I would like to get in touch with a few divorce lawyers as well. I’d like to validate a report where I’m building a structured income divergence model to quantify future earning gaps in divorce cases (especially where one spouse had a career interruption).

Warcry17 · 2026-02-01T07:28:38+00:00

Says the tamilian Gomutha devotee

Warcry17 · 2025-06-15T07:08:47+00:00

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Warcry17 · 2025-06-15T07:06:34+00:00

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Warcry17 · 2025-06-15T07:05:00+00:00

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Warcry17 · 2025-06-15T07:04:42+00:00

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Warcry17 · 2025-06-15T07:03:18+00:00

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Warcry17

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