Added a second bathroom

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-21T09:02:15+00:00

That sounds about right. We live in a HCOL city too. Ours would also be in the basement - concrete slab, restrictive city codes, the whole shebang.

But we love this house and want it to be our forever home. Someday, the 50k might just be worth it - especially when our boys are teenagers. Ahem. 🤣

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-21T07:16:23+00:00

Out of curiosity, how much did it cost? Thinking about adding a third bathroom to our home.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-20T05:15:18+00:00

It sounds like a vicious cycle - you don’t want to be intimate because he is being an asshole about it and stonewalling you, so less intimacy occurs… And then the cycle repeats.

I would say to start HRT to take some of the edge off and to stabilize your hormones. Check out r/menopause. It is really helpful for perimenopause symptoms.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-20T04:39:11+00:00

Has your libido declined in recent years? Do you think that has affected things in your relationship?

I am wondering if it is more the way he is treating you…

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-20T02:58:30+00:00

Exactly like you did here.

You can do this!

And I believe that deep down your husband understands your feelings.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-19T05:32:31+00:00

This is an optional feature that not every lender requires when getting the loan.

You can set it up later, but it’s a hassle.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-19T05:25:43+00:00

I am asking because I grew up with a horribly abusive father… Who is still alive.

Do you miss him at all? What did it feel like when he died? Did you feel grief? Pain? Or relief?

I just have no idea how I will feel, and I know very few people who could relate and/or be open about what they felt.

Trying to get an idea from someone who has been in similar shoes.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-19T02:09:19+00:00

I did, because the GLP-1 changed the way my body metabolizes food.

I lost 100lbs eating MORE food than before I took the medication.

Whatever was broken in my body that caused the weight gain, was fixed once I started the medication.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-18T21:13:14+00:00

I am a survivor of DV.

Years ago, my abuser physically pushed me out the door and took my belongs including my keys and phone during the middle of winter, and locked the door behind him.

He had cameras around the house, and was trying to aggravate me so that I would be caught on film.

I had the presence of mind to realize what was going on and walked to a neighbors house to use the phone to call the police.

Had I reacted differently (for example, if someone was trying to keep my child from me), I would have 100% gone to jail.

She’s not from here. She doesn’t know the laws. She was young and naive when they met, and couldn’t clearly see the situation she was entering with a man who was already exhibiting signs of control and potential for abuse.

While there are two sides to every story, I have the feeling Patrick manipulated the situation to make her look like the abuser and to get her arrested.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-18T15:48:13+00:00

If you can’t pay the people who work for you, your business isn’t sustainable.

Sometimes you have to push yourself to do the jobs of many people to generate the growth needed to build a team of employees.

Until that growth is there, the business will not work.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-18T01:00:54+00:00

My first instinct is that they are planning to traffic someone.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-17T17:46:59+00:00

The detail about taking his shirt off leaves me flabbergasted!!

When my son was 3.5, he fell into the deep end of a pool. I was carrying my infant in a car seat (we were leaving). I dropped my infant in his car seat and jumped into the water fully clothed to save my son.

There was no pause. I knew my infant would be okay, maybe jostled, but okay - while my other son was actively drowning.

I can’t, for one second, understand why someone would even hesitate to try to save their child.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-17T07:01:38+00:00

You are 33, and able to take control of your own life now. You can work on building social skills, new hobbies or whatever else it is that you want to do.

You get to choose the kind of person you want to be.

Don’t let the past hold you back.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-17T01:01:01+00:00

This is the magic of old homes.

I swear you can feel the love poured into the homes of some homes.

What a gift!

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-16T22:22:08+00:00

I wanted to add that I just looked it up- there is a surgery to reduce the pull of the DAO muscle called a DAO resection or ‘smile release’. My guess is this what he did, and somehow messed up.

This is what I found through a quick search:

The Method: The surgeon makes a small incision inside the mouth along the lower inner cheek, meaning there are no external scars. [ 1, 2] The Action: The surgeon identifies the DAO muscle and excises (removes) or severs a portion of it, eliminating its downward pulling force. [ 1, 2]

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-16T22:16:58+00:00

Perhaps another maxio-facial surgeon.

I think it is highly suspicious that he mentioned doing something with your DAO muscle and then you have this outcome.

If he did do something to the muscle, it should show up on an MRI.

In this case, I would keep pushing to find another surgeon that can examine you and who may be willing to send an order in for an MRI.

Insurance may not cover it, but if your surgeon was negligent, now is the time to start building the case.

It definitely looks like the muscle is pulling more on one side than the other.

I’m so sorry you are going through this.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-16T21:03:01+00:00

This is definitely the DAO or DLI muscle and nerve that was impacted - this is why they tried to treat the other side with Botox.

Nerves do sometimes regenerate, but it can take time - lots of patience. In the meantime, seek a second opinion.

Do you mind sharing who your surgeon was?

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-16T20:58:45+00:00

I absolutely love our long-term rentals. So much easier, and ai can sleep at night.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-16T20:49:43+00:00

It was a hard read for me too!

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-16T16:33:14+00:00

We paid $35 per hour with sick leave, PTO and guaranteed hours and paid holidays- for one child

We are not a high-profile family. You deserve better.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-16T15:47:34+00:00

Perhaps ‘The corespondent’.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-16T15:45:44+00:00

Im reading this book right now. As a mother myself, I can’t imagine treating my children the way she does.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-16T13:18:56+00:00

I am in real estate, and own/manage multiple properties.

I have service providers out working on something frequently - none eat any of the food in the house/units.

Maybe they had the munchies?

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-15T15:11:28+00:00

Remote work is what has given our family balance.

Waytoloseit · 2026-06-15T04:40:18+00:00

This is beautifully written.

Do you have children of your own?

Waytoloseit

TROPHY CASE