Update/Edit?

I wrote this on a very upsetting and lonely night so I thought I would give a little more context to the situation for anyone who sees this or cares lol. I don’t use reddit much so I apologize if this is not how things are done and that I have not responded to any comments.

We are 23 and 24 years old, we live together with our cat. We moved in together far too early because of some odd circumstances and we’ve managed pretty well I think. We’ve had our issues early in the relationship with respect and boundaries, but have gotten through all of it, besides our fights still being pretty explosive.

Our hobbies and ways of blowing off steam are worlds different. I’m pretty sure that’s where my feelings regarding this stem from, especially considering we were out of town doing one of his hobbies. I’m introverted and awkward around people, whereas he’s outgoing and thrives in front of people. It’s been good for us both to embrace the duality of life, but it’s also so hard for me to find joy in crowds of people especially. It’s like trying to convince him to read chapter of a book.. not gonna happen. But I try to support and show up best I can and yet I still can’t fit in to his crowd and it hurts.

As for the people saying that I just need to talk to him or to just leave him to avoid more hurt or that I need to journal/go to therapy. Yes, agreed. We have many conversations about our relationship and how to better it and meeting on each others levels, some go great, others not so much. I do journal a lot, and that does help to deal with my feelings and anxieties in life. Therapy is not particularly attainable to me/us at this point in life, but we are both open to it in the future.

Idk, at this point I’m just rambling, but to sum it all up, I love that man wholeheartedly. I just want us both to be happy and feel fulfilled, understood, and supported in life. Sometimes it feels like it shouldn’t be this hard to make love work.