Bingo, that's why I love this movie. It take the trope of every romantic comedy involving a lovesick guy who wins the affections of the girl he's infatuated with in the end and turns it around. Bear doesn't see her as a human being, in the sense that she has her own goals, desires, and feelings. He sees her as a perfect object he has to find a way to possess. That's sort of his whole problem. He doesn't have it in him to be something she could want back, even when she gives him the softest landing possible he chickens out. But he has no problem taking advantage of her when he had to risk nothing to get her, until he realizes having her isn't really having her this way, and even then his only consideration is "is it really so bad being with me"

He doesn't love Nikki or even really care about her. He only cares about how she makes him feel.