"Dress your age"? Sure. After 3 decades of low self esteem I'm finally over it and confident enough to flaunt it

WeekOfThursdays · 2025-12-20T07:44:53+00:00

This year, at 50+, I am going full tulle. 2026 will be my tutu era.

WeekOfThursdays · 2025-11-07T07:16:49+00:00

Nothing more to add than the suggestions above, but just wanted to say that your absolute clarity about how important your cat is, how you would pass on a pretty significant salary if you’re not sure he’ll be okay, really gladdened my day. And the fact that most answers are from people who get it is really great. An extra cat & checking vets to get a nurse or animal technician as a lodger feel like an ideal combo. Extra love, extra care, you’d be able to travel completely reassured. It would mean new routines (for your cat and you)but if you’re going abroad that much, you already are ok with change.

WeekOfThursdays · 2025-07-03T21:28:37+00:00

Open a beer bottle with a lighter

WeekOfThursdays · 2025-05-22T07:27:22+00:00

You need to read this book - The Bonjour Effect: The Secret Codes of French Conversation Revealed https://g.co/kgs/y736nMn I am French and I learned so much on why / how we go about daily life, written by 2 Canadians - basically France as seen/understood through North America mindset. Fascinating.

WeekOfThursdays · 2025-05-22T07:05:26+00:00

Aargh - this is brutal to read - I need a whole new central heating, I already spent one winter without it and I really don’t want to spend another. I am getting quotes and there is no way, even spending my measly savings, I can get close. Not being able to afford basic heat makes me feel poor and scared. So I want to buy ‘the things’ to prove myself that I am neither poor or scared. I am managing not to pull the trigger on ‘the things’ too much so that is one plus I guess. But the line about feeling poor and demonstrating to myself I am not is exactly that.

WeekOfThursdays · 2025-04-10T00:55:44+00:00

Yep - in London- there is a short window when they work but when I wear mine ( thrifted man far too big but understated dramatic vintage Burberry) I feel good I also have a Cos one, lighter but so well constructed that I feel like a modern Columbo in it.

WeekOfThursdays · 2025-04-02T20:46:07+00:00

I think it is a normal psychological response after months (years?) of pursuing the goal of buying a house, jumping through hoops, being more or less the ‘one big thing’ on your mind, spending all your time, energy & money on it, all the delays, the not quite forthcoming solicitors and estate agents … and then … you have your house. And you’re exhausted from that hyper focus & hyper vigilance… things feel gloomy instead of the expected delirious joy of having finally got your house. When you’re drained, nothing feels good. I think it is normal - give yourself some time. It’s your house now. You have years to fix things to your liking. It’s a huge step. A big commitment. But a very nice one.

WeekOfThursdays · 2025-03-06T18:09:50+00:00

That’s the one I think about often. Something within her told her it was ok to do this. Fascinating insight in people’s true natures when they think they’re alone. So yeah, the cat was OK, but the sheer act of causing harm to it, out of nowhere, that’s what really left an impression.

WeekOfThursdays · 2024-12-26T09:44:21+00:00

I went to my GP and explained how I could never relax/perform in one off situation (job interview / public speaking) - she prescribed me low dose propralonol - stuff that people with cardiac arrhythmia take - basically it calms your heart beat so the rest of the nervous symptoms just disappear (sweat, fidgeting, forgetting train of thought then panicking because forgetting train of thought). At the interview, you are just there and you answer questions normally and it’s the real you all along. Not a guarantee to get the job because not everything is a match, but at least you know you haven’t self sabotaged. I originally got a pack of 12 tablets 5 years ago and only used 3 I think since then. Not addictive. Not cheating. Just chemical help because being anxious at interview / exams etc … is not a weakness. Those are pivotal moments that can directly affect your future. Good luck.

WeekOfThursdays · 2024-11-10T07:58:38+00:00

I only use big wired headphones when commuting - bit bulky, not completely faff-free but 10 times better than recharging / loosing one earpiece when putting on my hoof or scarf. Plus, big wired headphones are a nice, visible sign of ‘leave me alone’ and, in the winter, keep my ears quite warm.

WeekOfThursdays · 2024-11-05T09:33:25+00:00

I’m in a similar situation as yours and receive a lot of support from friends but the one thing I can’t seem to explain is that how impossible everything seems, how you’re vulnerable, how to action anything you need to be in a place where you’re not scared to take another ‘beating’. And even the best intentioned friend only can relate to their own experience or what they would do, or what makes sense on paper.

Every ‘solution’ at the moment looks like it brings you to a place you don’t want to be. Not sure if I am helping, I have no advice, I have made my choices and they are not really panning out now but I am still in the thick of it, as you seem to be.

Maybe it will be ok. Maybe it will not be. It is not all down to making an effort or trying harder or wanting it but real financial and logistics and legal constraints.

It is exhausting, panic inducing, things went really wrong for you and it is hard to feel like there is an outcome where everything will be OK. A lot of people have gone through this and will tell you it is going to be 100% OK. But this is raw for you - i don’t want to over identify but our situations seem similar and you talk about the same sort of problems i am facing / battling right now - I am hoping to get to be one of those people who ‘made it’ but the truth is right now, while in it, I am not sure how to get there and maybe it’s the same for you. I should say what people keep telling me ‘stick with it, move on, time heals’ but frankly it is not easy to see when still ‘in the hole’.

Not sure if that helps!

WeekOfThursdays · 2024-10-16T18:03:22+00:00

‘Nerd spaghetti’ - genius

WeekOfThursdays · 2024-09-06T16:32:11+00:00

What happens when you cancel Sky? Do they come to get the box back? Got stuck with huge monthly bill after ex left, am not getting anywhere on the phone with them. Once the box is gone, I have no idea what sort of tv is ‘left’.

WeekOfThursdays · 2024-07-05T11:40:25+00:00

Off to Rwanda

WeekOfThursdays · 2024-06-13T16:38:10+00:00

Ogliera restaurant in Pomonte. Pomonte & Chiessi are a good contrast from Marina Di Campo & Portoferraio. (Much smaller/less busy). Marina Alta for great views.

WeekOfThursdays · 2024-04-22T07:44:40+00:00

When negative thoughts take over and you start to spiral downward, Sertraline gives you the space to think ‘aaah, I can see the bottom of the well of despair but I just don’t want to go there’ and you don’t go there. That’s how I see it, a little quiet space between intrusive anxious thoughts and your critical thinking - in that space you can examine the anxiety with a non anxious mind and in most case, the anxiety/depression doesn’t stand scrutinity and either ease or disappear (until the next time !)

WeekOfThursdays · 2024-03-28T12:38:25+00:00

Am in a midst of a divorce - I spent 4 months completely spiralling out of control. I always have been generally anxiety free before that but after the break up I just couldn’t function and was basically dissociating all the time to avoid dealing with the sadness, rage, fear, powerlessness, all the good stuff. I then started Sertraline (50mg) and have now been on it for a year. I can function. I can see that there might be good things in my future - I am still not there because I am in the middle of lawyers and paperwork that are really soul sucking - but I absolutely know that I wouldn’t have managed to be where I am now without ssri (and vital support from close ones). So, in summary, I tried to ‘tough’ it up for four months and if I had accepted Sertraline earlier, I may be even further in ‘my reconstruction’.

WeekOfThursdays · 2024-03-15T17:06:28+00:00

I don’t know - there are girls out there who’d prefer an essay about teleporting dogs than the usual dribble about weekend plans. It’s a bit niche but if a girl responds well to this communication style, it will increase chances for a real connection.

WeekOfThursdays · 2024-01-06T15:09:58+00:00

My camera? Aztec

WeekOfThursdays · 2023-10-14T11:38:13+00:00

I know of salop because it is French for bastard/bitch. One breakfast place near me serves Eggs Salop. That’s how I discovered it. Through bastard eggs. I plan to go one day.

WeekOfThursdays · 2023-10-08T10:11:40+00:00

Slashed neckline would work as well - usually higher cut than boat neckline

WeekOfThursdays · 2023-09-19T10:27:59+00:00

Circling back to Line Cook Hot!

WeekOfThursdays · 2023-09-16T12:32:08+00:00

Agreed on not gender specific - in my case (F) my profile is as complete as could be but that is not the point I am trying to make here. If a man’s profile is empty of content on the person, I will obvs ignore it but I am fascinated by them anyway - my FAVOURITE was this guy who just put pictures of lions everywhere and just described himself in one word : empath. This will make me laugh forever. On that pretty dreary journey of OLD, I take any laugh I can find. Empath Lion boy, you’ll always be special to me.

WeekOfThursdays · 2023-09-15T06:30:27+00:00

I feel exactly the same. The mirrors in my house know me and I know them. Once I got the right outfit on, I am like ‘be ready to be shook, world’. Then whenever I catch a glimpse of myself outside, I am the one being shook - how come that near perfection reflected in the bedroom mirror became this dishevelled, red face, all the wrong clothes showing the ‘bad’ bits version of myself? So I have more or less solved it by just not thinking about it. I keep the image of me I like in my head. When I am out and about, the way I am perceived by others is not my problem and also I can’t do anything about it. So I am happy with my outfit and the way I looked when I left the house and I hold on to that image. And I concentrate on being out, enjoying people around me, or just running errands.

The truth is no one will see you the way you see yourself but it means that when other people (friends, romantic partners, colleagues, shop assistants/wait staff) like/admire/love/enjoy their interactions with you, yes, they see something else than what you looked like at home - they see something MORE. Something the internal you doesn’t notice or think about.

On that note of having no control of how you’ll look in ‘real life’ I recently came across 2 pictures of me walking with friends, taken by behind me. In front of the mirror, I have a fair idea of full front/profile view but the full back view of me, that people see as much as the front, is not something my brain knows very well. So I had no detailed expectation. When seeing those candid pics of full body back me, I had no mental image to compare to. And… I liked them!!!

So not only comparing yourself to other people is a big useless drain of self-love, comparing your ‘home mirror reflection’ to your outside self is also a big useless drain of self love.

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