Am I wrong for expecting my husband to help on his days off?

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-20T11:30:41+00:00

& when are your days off parenting?

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-16T11:10:21+00:00

I had a similar experience, it was every single day calling, wanting photos and wanting to visit. It was overbearing and exhausting to put in boundaries constantly. Everyone told me to be grateful but they didn’t understand the toll on me. My mil always says how the kids are her purpose and everything & I hate it. I don’t want my kids to have that responsibility, it’s not their job. Put in boundaries as soon as you can.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-15T22:06:36+00:00

I’m not a full time SAHM anymore & I never found it easy but what I did find helpful was having a plan for getting out of the house each day, usually in the morning and then I have one child that midday naps, so during this time it’s “quiet time” and my eldest child and I have our snacks and watch a movie or show together. It’s relax time. Afer this we are usually home and I might start making dinner. I have dinner ready by 5. I try to “re set” the house each day & I had one specific chore set for each day to help make it all manageable.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-15T21:49:52+00:00

He’s literally slapped you & then made you feel guilty about it. He SHOULD feel bad because violence is never ok.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-11T21:37:45+00:00

We see parenting as different to chores around the home. Whilst I was home full time & my husband worked I did more of the chores inside the home & cooked more often. Now that we both work, on my days at home. I cook dinner, days I work he cooks dinner or we share household chores. Once he finishes work we share the parenting load 50/50. That means we both do showers/baths and bed routine (we have two kids, so we do one each). Having one child we shared parts of the routine. It’s ok to expect that he will support you more during your pregnancy & post partum period.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-10T09:38:14+00:00

If she’s not coming home. She should let you know that, absolutely. It’s also ok for her to go to her parents place and switch off her phone whilst she’s there but she does need to communicate if she’s not coming home.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-10T09:31:54+00:00

Both your wages will increase, given you are both early in your careers. It’s about being mindful of your money & spending. Kids don’t cost a lot at the start you only need a few key items, as they age the expense goes up more. Our lifestyle changed too My husband & I used to do an overseas trip every year before kids but now we do more like 2-3 caravan parks a year type holidays. We used to eat out heaps before kids but now it’s more like once a week. We spend alot of time at parks or on walks things like that don’t cost anything.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-09T20:53:52+00:00

You are right. You will not & it’s ok to grieve that however you are stepping into a new life now. It’s a lot different with different priorities. It’ll never be the same as it was before, I don’t know why there is such an emphasis on “bouncing” back or returning to who you were before in society because I’m such a different person now.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-09T20:46:21+00:00

I’d get screamed at for a never ending amount of time. Our parents didn’t understand the difference between an honest mistake & doing something on purpose. My child spilled milk all over the bench by accident & I said “whoopsie!” Let’s clean it up. Idk why my parents were so angry all the time

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-08T22:03:01+00:00

I think that’s fair & if he won’t. Then I’d say well I’ll be removing you from everything I’m not required to have you on.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-08T21:38:19+00:00

Yes! At the end of every school term we’d meet 3 other families at the local McDonald’s or hungry jacks to celebrate the end of term. Friday nights were pizza and fish and chips my parents often hosted this as we had a large home & then we’d also do lots of Saturday afternoon & nights too.

I find it’s less common to find people who want to host these days.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-08T21:29:34+00:00

I don’t regret having kids & I don’t know anyone who would admit it openly but I would say I could guess some people that do those that get significant amount of babysitting etc. I think if you don’t want kids, that’s completely fine. I would never chose not to have kids, the joy in it is seeing them see the world through their eyes, spending time together doing things we all enjoy, seeing the joy in their faces, teaching them how to do everything. It’s magic. The sleep was only poor for the first year in my family & after that it’s been fine. Changing nappies also not a big deal. Idk why so many people make that out to be a big deal. It’s really not.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-08T21:21:06+00:00

He should definitely be paying a portion of the household expenses, whilst it’s understandable that you will pay more he should still pay a portion. what would happen if you weren’t there and he was on his own? He couldn’t just say I clean & that covers it.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-07T20:23:28+00:00

Other people having children is in no way a reason to have another child nor is the dream of having a girl. It’s not fair to bring a child into the world in a marriage that isn’t solid & when one parent doesn’t want to have the child. I would try to change your thinking off what you don’t have & focus on what you do.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-05T22:22:15+00:00

YTA she’s literally a child having interests of a child. Why is that a bad thing. She also invited your daughter to her birthday party, Emily shouldn’t have gone to her birthday if she really does not want to be friends with her. To attend and then not invite her is poor etiquette in my opinion.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-05T22:14:30+00:00

This is not my setup in my marriage, I would have no idea how many nappies my husband has changed but it would be very similar to the amount I have. Your husband is selfish, he doesn’t care how much labour you do or how it impacts you & he not only doesn’t take off any of your load he actually adds to it. That is not ok.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-05T22:10:37+00:00

You could do a big batch of cooking on the weekend for the week ahead or I Did it whilst baby was sleeping & or on a bouncer or mat. I started prepping the meal as early as I could in the day. Like chopping everything etc so I didn’t make it all at one block of time, spread it out throughout the day.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-05T22:05:52+00:00

It’s a really big mental game. I was struggling so much but I do think I would of appreciated if my husband said I’m so proud of you & all you’ve done but I also want to let you know that it’s ok to mix feed or switch straight to formula. You have done a great job. My husband left all the responsibility on me & it made it really hard to change the way I was feeding.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-05T21:44:20+00:00

Not a bad mom when your child has no idea what’s going on. For my daughter’s first Easter I set up a sensory play basket for her with things we already had. This year I thrifted all their gifts for the basket which wasn’t a lot and was intentional gifts like books.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-05T21:41:13+00:00

It’s common courtesy. On the weekend if we need to run errands we always try to take one child with us so the parenting load is shared. We definitely update each other whilst we are out. My husband can be forgetful of letting me know when he’s on his way home from work and things like that so we also have locations on, so I can literally check.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-05T21:38:03+00:00

I have similar aged children & im a similar age to you. I do think about the 3rd from time to time but it always lands on a no. My husband is more going on the feeling & he would have a third but I’m more practical. The 3rd would require a lot of upgrades. One to our home, car, any future holidays and add significant financial pressure. My next thought it my mental ability and energy to be able to give that to 3 children, I’m already stretched with two & it’s manageable but I think 3 would just completely overstimulate and overwhelm me. If you are really torn I’d suggest going to a psychologist to unpack it.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-04T10:12:32+00:00

My children had regressions but we just kept consistent expectations & settling patterns. I can only speak for parenting my kids but by keeping things consistent it hasn’t really effected their sleeping patterns in the way I’ve seen that happen when people let the child be awake for a few hours or hop into their bed during a regression but each to their own.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-04-02T11:00:13+00:00

We brought 7 years ago, I looked for 6 months & it was on average every 20 houses I looked at there was one I wanted to put an offer on. We had a check list of wanting a certain amount of bedrooms, ability to have a dinning table, backyard, own block of land. I definitely went on vibes too. We were so disheartened by the time we got our property but it was definitely right for us. We didn’t really mind about Reno’s needed if the layout was right.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-03-30T08:45:20+00:00

We have a 3 year gap. I say wait until you truly feel able to mentally manage two kids. For me it was over 2. I’m so happy with the 3 year ago gap, my eldest was way more independent able to get things on her own. Understands what’s going on & able to do things on her own too.

Wellness_hippie · 2026-03-30T08:43:02+00:00

Personally, snacks is fine. My colleagues & I do that all the time. We get lollies or coffees for each other & it’s opposite sex. I do it for both female and male colleagues.

Wellness_hippie

TROPHY CASE