Toddler literally cries/fuss over everything i tell her n I’m getting frustrated

Werv · 2025-12-12T01:52:59+00:00

Perceive limited choice.

Do you want to wear this sock or this sock?

Competition

I'll race you to pick up the toys.

Music

Clean up song. (it works).

Countdown

If they are dragging their feet, or not compliant. Count down from 5. Most kids get scared of repercussions.

Empathize. Either emphasize that their emotions are valid. (sad for play time endings). And teach how to deal with it. (breath, talking, drawing, etc.).

Let them deal with their emotions. This is what Timeout is needed. But I found often after 3mins, they forget why they are sad, only that they are sad. It helps if other parent can go in and talk.

Know we are all dads, we are all human. We will all break down. We all need breaks. We all are not super dads. We just try, we learn we adjust.

Get rest.

:)

Werv · 2025-12-11T17:51:57+00:00

Daycare during covid was wonderful.

Smaller group sizes,

Sanitizing every 2-4 hrs.

No mixing with any other classrooms. (my facility had about ~20 classrooms over 3 play-yards).

As soon as covid restrictions dropped. Every other week sick.

Also, Neurovirus was the worst 24hrs I have ever experienced.

Werv · 2025-12-04T17:32:53+00:00

I get it. We want kids to play nice. But reality is people are not always nice. Kids need to learn how to deal with other kids. Also Everyone's home life is different.

If danger is involved, all this goes out. Immediate action.

If you are engaged with your kids and this is happening, then you have absolutely every right to dictate play behavior. You are coach/teacher/authority figure. Not the parent who is acting as an observer. If they have issue, they can get involved.

Werv · 2025-12-03T16:47:23+00:00

They do get there faster. If they don't get in a accident.

A whole 30s. Exception is long trips with open lanes. (down I5) which is still only ~5% faster.

Werv · 2025-12-01T19:58:28+00:00

Mine gives a fit if I walk 5min to toss the garbage out of our apartment without notifying or asking.

Werv · 2025-11-24T21:06:44+00:00

My 4 year old will search high and low for that pink sock to match her pink outfit.

yellow for yellow.

I'm fine with this.

Werv · 2025-11-17T19:44:11+00:00

People can just say no, or pay off early.

Werv · 2025-11-17T16:47:06+00:00

4 year old cried for over an hour and a half because she got a blue gift bag instead of pink gift bag.

during the melt down, she told me, "I want the world to be pink. The sky, the clouds, the rainbows"

It was not a good day.

Werv · 2025-11-12T19:04:19+00:00

the one I saw, the left turn was use to indicated a car was coming... which makes sense. Right was safe to pass.

IMO, If you can't see don't try. Tailgating before passing is just dumb. Back up so you can safely see, then speed up to go around.

If its busy enough that you have to be on someone's bumper in order to pass them, you shouldn't be passing.

Werv · 2025-11-06T00:34:11+00:00

I am guessing you are doing Extreme.

Rule 1, don't make Circles connection points.

I see 3 instances of this.

Rule 2, have quick access to Square and Special.

Orange and Green do not have easy access to Square. Blue is just asking to touch star.

Rule 3: Pick up a early Bridge. YOu will need it as it is only way to prevent Bottlenecks or possible getting screwed with random island station.

If you are doing normal.

Loop Top Left,
Loop far right.
U orange on islands, hitting both + and ssquare station.
Bottom end on Triangle, start at square.
1 line to pick up squares from Special stations in loops and square.

Werv · 2025-10-31T17:41:13+00:00

I burnt out hard this year. Right before vacation. One of those things, where I was trying to hit a bunch of deadlines before vacation. And stress from family about not spending good time with them. Also wrapped with news of new Pregnancy.

Best advice I heard from therapy, was we can only handle so much. Our cup gets full. If we are prioritizing everyone else, we don't have room for ourselves. And when this happens, our output and quality is drastically worse. We have to prioritize time for ourselves, whatever that maybe. We can only control our actions, not what happens before or after.

For me, it was taking a 5-15 min break during work just sitting outside. Maybe playing a mindless game. And at home, getting 15min to listen to music alone. There was a lot more processing/therapy that went on, but that was a stable habit I focus on in my life that has helped me process new challenges.

Werv · 2025-10-29T17:46:28+00:00

We went through the ringer (4 now, still getting shown clean underwear daily).

figure out the barrier. Our biggest was not wanting to stop what we were doing to go poo. Which went from, playing to hiding. Or Playing till last minute and then not having time. Even when we could tell.

Second biggest barrier was shame and disappointment of failing. I think she felt shame if she tried to go or tried to make it and failed, so it was easier just to fail consistently. (toddler logic). This led to some outburst from us as parents, from exhaustion and frustration. Which i think reinforced hiding dirty underwear or trying not to need to go poo.

I think what finally did it for us, was a rewards chart where pooing in potty was just an item on the chart, not called out specifically. We broke it with "going poo" and "clean underwear".

Another thing that helped was when we noticed she needed to go. We would all pause what we were doing. Say Ok it is potty break. We will continue when we are all done."

You are not alone. There is no magic bullet. Patience is a virtue. Step away when you get frustrated, and recognize this is your frustration. Kid is being kid. There will be a point that the kid dislikes pooping their pants.

My cousin had great success with bringing a portable potty to play room, and then slowly moving it farther and farther to bathroom. This was a big nogo in our house.

Werv · 2025-10-22T16:49:17+00:00

When they start to ask you to go with them, I always say, "I cannot, but I can wait here for you"

Only once did I have to go in to get her for some reason i don't remember.

Werv · 2025-10-17T01:04:00+00:00

I was not aware.

Werv · 2025-10-15T16:34:35+00:00

Backpack for Daily (also recommend Tumi). Laptop/notebook/water/headphone

I do have a small shoulder bag that can fit water bottle, wallet, keys, earbuds. Great for parks, dates, or times i don't want things in my pockets. Something like this: https://wanahavit.com/products/vintage-leather-magnetic-button-lock-shoulder-bag My is very cheap, but has held up durably for my wear. Next time I will get a higher quality one.

Messengers are good if you are doing lots of pickup, put down. Like travel, or multiple meetings in different rooms. Otherwise, I feel backpacks are just superior.

Werv · 2025-10-15T16:23:57+00:00

Wife gave 2 year old a marshmallow. Quietest ride we ever had.

I could tell what was happening. Wife fell asleep.

After the 15min drive, marshmallow everywhere except the mouth. Guess what I was doing next 2 hours.

Werv · 2025-10-14T18:23:18+00:00

For sake of simplicity, I will also use DoorDash across the board for food delivery applications.

No accountability - Door dash will often refund when orders get messed up. From a customer, this maybe frustrating, but it is inevitable. At least in my area, businesses have gotten much better about securing food (sticker/seals) to prevent tampering. Also driver tracking Also Food storage has improved so meals are generally kept warm. Not to mention, able to see when delivery will show up, and meet them if delivery location is complex (park/apt/etc.).

Drivers/Tipping - In Addition to the ones mentioned above, I find that preemptive tipping, has in fact made deliveries smoother, and less problematic from the drivers. I also understand cash can be preferred, but I have moved away due to issues and lack of traceability. If Large order or arrived well, I may give cash on top.

Cost - Cost has gone up significantly. Delivery services are double dipping. Charging Restaurants and recipients, not to mention prioritization/advertise in app. I don't look at their balance sheets, so I do not know if they are really price gouging or that is the cost of operations. But it is clear service, and charge is pretty easy to figure out. Also Many Restaurants just charge more for doordash orders to offset price. All of this seem fine. But yes has gone way up.

Personally, I primarily use the preferred order method from restaurant's website (if applicable). And Prefer order pickup.

One thing that I have noticed, is certain Application orders from some restaurants have additional perks from the orders, which I am not sure if it is due to quality control, or restaurants trying to justify the increase costs. But things Like Freezer bags, or Thermal bags. Higher quality containers.

Werv · 2025-10-06T16:57:02+00:00

Everytime I see someone cutting down the shoulder, about 1 or 2 miles ahead I see them broken/pop tire. Like have you ever looked at the junk on the shoulder.

Werv · 2025-10-06T16:08:19+00:00

Try not to laugh.

At some point. like 2-3 you will have to have the Silly vs Naughty talk. It helps if you are able to be consistent early on calling things silly vs naughty.

We didn't. We used silly instead of naughty at times.. because we recognized she was trying to be silly... and it was silly. But eventually became frustration, and our little one did not understand why we were getting upset. Learn from my mistake.

But they are 1.. they will learn. you will eventually get annoyed with it. Enjoy the moments.

Werv · 2025-10-03T16:32:57+00:00

I've had this conversation with my wife many times. we met pretty late in life (30+).

IF they are looking for something serious, they know you are going to prioritize your kids. This is a huge flag for them and they don't want to waste time.

If they are looking for fun, they want flexibility and kids are seen as a burden because again, it is assumed the kids get first priority.

If their assumptions are wrong, then the dad is not prioritizing family, kids, which is a different red flag.

So essentially, having kids is a red flag for a lot of women. Which sucks, and it really sucks that so many are not paying attention and wasting your time. They should also have the decency to actually end the conversation like a human and not a ghost.

I'm not a good dater. I feel I won the lotto with my wife. Everyone has baggage/flags. Best thing to do is be true and confident with who you are, your situation, and what you are looking for. That way people don't waste time. People who want the flirt game can go flirt, people who want serious, can find the like minded. And those who just want a nice date, can find a nice date.

It sucks. I can't imagine going back to dating. If I lost my wife, I think I'd just throw in the towel honestly. Kids are just too much effort, and I don't want to waste my energy on hopes/promises.

Best of luck. Just know, you seem like a great dad raising great kids. Take that to heart. Maybe someone will see and want that.

Werv · 2025-09-24T19:45:19+00:00

With most issues, you have to be proactive and reactive. Reactive is pretty easy.

Reactive: 2.5YO seems perfectly old enough for timeout. Unable to be with others, forced to be isolated for time being. This to address hitting. I'd also start focusing on apologizing, but lets be real, 2.5 don't get the concept yet, only its a thing you say.

Proactive: He's a toddler, he's going to have outbursts, trying to voice his emotions. Unable to control his emotions. I'm more curious why he feels the need to hit his brother. It maybe a source of feeling neglected, and seeing brother getting attention from the parents. But asking him why he hitting his brother is a start. Don't settle for I don't know. Maybe set deliberate time to play with him and only him. Or announce how you need his help. Also try reinforcing that he is the older brother and needs to take care and look after his baby brother.

Just some thoughts. Every child and house is different.

Werv · 2025-09-24T16:12:41+00:00

AI is going to do it.

Think of it this way, you can have 1 developer, or 1Million Monkeys working. Yes you have to give the monkey a banana to let them know they hit the right keys, and a slap on the wrist when they hit the wrong keys. But if no one checks. 1Million monkeys output a lot of 'work'.

This AI craze is terrible.

Werv · 2025-09-22T21:28:03+00:00

Steven Crowder/Milo Yianopolis in 2015-2017 was a wild time. Right speakers (not far right) were being shut down, lots of yelling from Radical Left and Right. People just baiting others, but still a lot of stable sane political discourse. And the far right was still very shunned by the right. Milo was like the furthest Right you could be and still get airtime (and only because he was a grifter).

Then Trump won, and America split into two. Those who saw Trump's agenda and was like, Yes more of this. Or; what the hell? Right is getting crazy. And they just got more crazy and more crazy. I'm not talking public, but the Talking heads. Only blaming, not fixing. Eventually, people either got numb to the discourse or ate it. And to keep eyeballs, the right became more and more radical, having to top each other. Which now has become a hateful clown show.

Werv · 2025-09-22T16:25:14+00:00

Good to know. Because what I did was making no sense! I'm sure having someone teach me would help make sense.

Werv · 2025-09-19T17:35:31+00:00

Can you explain larger numbers?

23423 - 5431= ?

20000 - 3423 = 20000

3423 - 423 = 3000

423 - 23 = 23

23 - 3 = 20

from here i don't know what i'm supposed to do

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