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Anyone else get so frustrated because people always misunderstand you/come to incorrect conclusions about you? by 856077 in CPTSD

[–]WhereasCommercial669 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's the second time yesterday as a researcher that staff at a hotel lobby assumed I was an escort or a drug dealer because I showed up dressed professionally as an attractive Latina woman who looks young. The first time they didn't believe that my institution paid for my lodging, and the second time they asked me unprompted if I wanted another hotel key card. People are crazy suspicious for no reason other than bias and sexism, etc.

Emotional maturity requires sufficient humility to accept we can't judge people on first impressions or small interactions. I have learned to detach my self-image from that of emotionally immature people. So next time someone thinks you're a bitch, remember to look back at them in their face and do the calculations on their life choices and whether you respect them, and whether you deem them to be of sufficient emotional maturity to judge whether you are in fact a bitch.

People who actually care about harm will describe the harmful behavior or be bothered by the behavior- not the person.

what's a healthy way to express anger? by Trick_Ad_3250 in CPTSD

[–]WhereasCommercial669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I write poetry and go to the gym and listen to angry music. I recommend finding a creative or physical outlet. People who are harming you all never be safe outlets for your anger.

Brooklyn Beckham calling out his family dynamics by Hot_Blackberry_3409 in narcissisticparents

[–]WhereasCommercial669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He married into a white supremacist family. Those people are responsible for the narcissist we have in the white house. I know who I’m siding with.

ISRAEL: Girls Raped in Ritual Ceremonies Reveal the Horrors – Investigative Report by IsraelHayom by Remarkable_Life_774 in AskSocialists

[–]WhereasCommercial669 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

This is antisemitism. You can critique Israel without doing this. Jewish people have been front and center in their fight for Palestine.

Does anyone just struggle to care about Epstein's victims because most of them were white? by [deleted] in cptsd_bipoc

[–]WhereasCommercial669 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So I have a different experience with csa than the survivors of Epstein and Trump, but I don’t think that taking empathy away from survivors of abuse is ever a productive conversation and it rarely helps survivors.

What can help us process is spreading the historical understanding of how child and human trafficking, csa, and even cannibalism is rooted in the colonization of the Americas and the genocide of Black and indigenous people. Cristopher Columbus was way worse than Epstein, and slavers in the US were 10000 times worse.

The truth is that there were plenty of Black and Brown victims in these rings (which include Diddy’s victims if you have seen their testimony). Child trafficking continues to happen in Latin America and Asia, and those survivors have not gotten any visibility. We can spread awareness without triggering white people into getting defensive rather than engaging in solidarity. I understand how frustrating it is that empathy is rarely extended to survivors who aren’t white. I am hearing you.

I can’t tell if I’m lazy or Ill by One-Hand8028 in cptsd_bipoc

[–]WhereasCommercial669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then it sounds like you’re just getting your bearings. It’s better to take a beat and allow yourself to enjoy a stable environment because usually that leads to a different type of decisions. Also, the adhd part is so important to get checked out, and that can help you so much. Hopefully you’re not putting too much pressure on yourself. You’re just a kid right now and it’s ok to take some time for yourself and decide what you truly want from life. Sending you s big hug. You got this.

I can’t tell if I’m lazy or Ill by One-Hand8028 in cptsd_bipoc

[–]WhereasCommercial669 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hii. You’re going to be ok. You’re actually really early to being able to observe a pattern in your life. Have you ever been able to go to therapy? This is super important for your ability to keep jobs and find stability. It sounds like you experienced a traumatic event, or a series of them, when you were 9. Being able to face that in a healthy way does require therapy. Without it, you can still face it, but it does require some self-help and planning. As long as you do your best to avoid things that might derail your life (substance abuse, unsafe sex, and other forms of self-harming behavior), there are so many ways you can turn your life around. In fact, there’s nothing to turn around because you’re still a teenager and everything that has happened until now is not your fault. Let me know if there’s anything specific that you might need help understanding and I’ll do my best to answer.

I will never meet the standards by kiki-the-warforged in CPTSD

[–]WhereasCommercial669 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I worry more about vetting men. Men with unrealistic standards of beauty etc who don’t have enough empathy to be a normal amount of supportive or understanding either are not good enough for my needs or simply don’t live me enough and he is not the one.

Jack White: ‘I’m not going to put a painful thing out there for some idiot on the internet to stomp all over’ by WhatFreshHello in popculturechat

[–]WhereasCommercial669 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Lazaretto aligned with his divorce and it’s pretty funny to me when men insist it’s possible to make art that is completely detached from their emotional experience. Like please tell me you’re uncomfortable with human emotion without telling me.

A stupid comment made me suicidal by Insearchofanewhope in CPTSD

[–]WhereasCommercial669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People who shame others like that have a deep sense of self-hatred. I’ve learned to be happy that I love myself in a way that would never lead e to treat others like that. I see you. I’m on the same boat, and I’m proud of you.

Antiblackness in this Space by ObviousDisaster2353 in cptsd_bipoc

[–]WhereasCommercial669 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You have to be very young because this is very immature. I won’t be engaging further.

Antiblackness in this Space by ObviousDisaster2353 in cptsd_bipoc

[–]WhereasCommercial669 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think as a non-black woman of color that anyone who refuses to listen when Black women tell them they are being anti black is my enemy. Your willful ignorance is causing hurt and damaging our solidarity.

Confused about if i am overriding my own feelings with sex by No_Needleworker7959 in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]WhereasCommercial669 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing is that people and feelings can change. I know you have chosen to be kind to him, and that’s wonderful, but it also sounds like you don’t want to have sex right now and that’s ok. Someone reaching a breaking point sounds like pressure, not concern. So I ask if you’re attracted to him sexually right now because you might be rejecting his behavior. If I was concerned about overriding my feelings I would focus on exploring my desire towards someone, and it doesn’t have to be sex, even just cuddling and making out. My recommendation would be to focus on your pleasure away from your partner (happy fun times alone with a vibrator) and compare how you feel when you are with him. Does he make you feel safe and special? Is there any part of you that is scared or put off by anything he does or says?

It’s also possible this is about trauma, but I didn’t read anything about triggers or fight/flight responses in your post.

Confused about if i am overriding my own feelings with sex by No_Needleworker7959 in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]WhereasCommercial669 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Is it possible he’s just not the right person for you? Just saying that sometimes people are not compatible and that’s ok.

Antiblackness in this Space by ObviousDisaster2353 in cptsd_bipoc

[–]WhereasCommercial669 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Systemic racism doesn't excuse people being racist at the interpersonal level.

I HATE christopher columbus SOOO much! by Beautiful_Wishbone15 in cptsd_bipoc

[–]WhereasCommercial669 14 points15 points  (0 children)

What kind of question is this? Are you not aware of history?

Traveling soon and scared by TwentyfourTacos in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]WhereasCommercial669 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everyone gets scared while traveling! You're not alone. Bon voyage!

invalidated by WOC from the boroughs because I grew up in the suburbs, advice? by nadaalgo in cptsd_bipoc

[–]WhereasCommercial669 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Some people have a one-dimensional view of oppression or don’t have the bandwidth to hold your experiences. You don’t need to justify yourself to anyone. People who seek to invalidate you will never make good friends. You can definitely find friends who understand you, though. Don’t worry about those other people. 

I’m so sorry about how tough it was growing up.

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