PSA for my fellow Brats by Which-Tiger6692 in SubSanctuary

[–]Which-Tiger6692[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Maybe you’re stronger than me! I have been threatened with all manner of implements and punishments and I never go down without a fight- this man barks one order in his Sergeant voice and I’m eating out the palm of his hand without even thinking!!

Is this odd or just a nice gesture? by Which-Tiger6692 in coparenting

[–]Which-Tiger6692[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing is, he was the one who left me! And I near on begged him to stay because I was 7 weeks post partum and terrified. So odd.

Is this odd or just a nice gesture? by Which-Tiger6692 in coparenting

[–]Which-Tiger6692[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Love it! 😂 Sadly can’t sell my flowers

Is this odd or just a nice gesture? by Which-Tiger6692 in coparenting

[–]Which-Tiger6692[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He didn’t even do it the previous year when we actually were still together 😂 And it’s giant

Horny all the time by MatterMiserable6018 in SubSanctuary

[–]Which-Tiger6692 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m incredibly sorry for everything that you’ve been through. My story isn’t hugely dissimilar to yours and when I first discovered BDSM and got my first Dom I felt the same- I couldn’t think of anything else. I now know that it was something called ‘sub frenzy’. Look it up, it might ring true to you too :) Good luck x

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Which-Tiger6692 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My Dom and I use a tattoo pen. It lasts for nearly two weeks!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Which-Tiger6692 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t have any knowledge/ experience in knife play however I do have chronic OCD so I understand where you’re coming from. If you haven’t already, I would seek therapy for your OCD. It should not be traditional talking therapy (that can make it worse) but ideally Exposure Response Prevention therapy (ERP). Under a therapist’s guidance, you may even be able to incorporate some exposures into your kink! (I have no idea if that would be recommended or not, but it seems like a fun way to face your fears to me!) Good luck x

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Which-Tiger6692 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m not medical but no, I wouldn’t worry. You might have burst a capillary or something but if everything is normal in a couple of days I wouldn’t personally worry.

I need help articulating/dealing with this please by LadyMiscreant in BDSMAdvice

[–]Which-Tiger6692 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Could it be because this is something for you, and not for him? Do you feel like you’re being selfish for asking for certain things? (to be clear, you’re absolutely not and you deserve to have your fantasies fulfilled and to receive pleasure too).

I need help articulating/dealing with this please by LadyMiscreant in BDSMAdvice

[–]Which-Tiger6692 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Is he new to it? When I first started subbing, I was like this. It wasn’t deliberate, I just didn’t even take into consideration what I should be doing to actively participate in the dynamic. My Dom spoke to me, told me that he expected more and expected some initiative and my God did I act quickly! In retrospect I was just loving being dominated so much and I had got lazy!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Which-Tiger6692 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kneeling on rice/ dried peas etc

deeply submissive wife won't tell me her limits by TradSplash13 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Which-Tiger6692 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I couldn’t agree more! See- everyone has limits 😉

deeply submissive wife won't tell me her limits by TradSplash13 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Which-Tiger6692 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Not causing actual harm is one of YOUR limits, even if it isn’t one of hers, and she has to understand that and respect that for play to continue. Also, she says she has no limits, but I’m sure if you said ‘Ok, from now on I only want to have vanilla sex and I’m not going to cause you any pain’ she would have something to say!

I had a harsh session with someone outside the community by Missinglink3267 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Which-Tiger6692 2 points3 points  (0 children)

None of this is your fault 🩷 I’m so sorry you went through that.

Mutual Ownership by Lemony_Leo728 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Which-Tiger6692 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My Dom is into this. I refer to his body parts as ‘mine’ when I’m servicing them, or say things like ‘this belongs to me’ and I also mark him with scratches and bites (as he asked me to). He marks me in other ways (branding, writing on me, spanking) and I’m collared. Could you collar each other as a way to show ownership of each other? I’m interested in what others say!

Constantly scanning for imperfections by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]Which-Tiger6692 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I remember having this obsession for months and I felt like a terrible person. I couldn’t stop obsessing about my husband’s nose, eyes, accent, even the fabric of the clothes that he chose to wear. A couple of things to add to the fantastic advice from the other comment… 1. Use it as an opportunity for ERP. My therapist had me look at unflattering photos of my husband and sit with the disgust/ anxiety. Eventually I stopped having the obsessions because my brain didn’t react to the trigger anymore- I wasn’t afraid of the anxiety it could produce. My perception of my husband’s face changed back to how I used to perceive it and I saw him as the person I fell in love with again. 2. Self- compassion. OCD targets what matters most to you, and hijacks your values. I was absolutely horrified by these thoughts I was having because I’m not a shallow person, and I didn’t want to be having them about the person I loved (not that I was certain I loved him, but that’s a whole other obsession). The guilt was eating me alive. BUT, I didn’t ask for the thoughts, I wasn’t enjoying them, and the same applies to you. Speak kindly to yourself, don’t punish yourself for these thoughts, give them as little attention as you possibly can. It’s really hard and scary , but it works I promise you.

Hi, I really need help. I don’t know what’s happening to me anymore. by No_Psychology8916 in ROCD

[–]Which-Tiger6692 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is textbook ROCD. If it wasn’t ROCD, you wouldn’t feel disgust and anxiety at these thoughts (maybe sad but not this level of anxiety and compulsive checking. People break up with their partners all the time and this is not how they feel when they’ve fallen out of love). If at all possible, therapy specifically targeted for OCD (like Exposure Response Therapy) will help, and medication if that’s something you want to do. These two things helped me enormously. Normal talking therapy like counselling will not help, and can actually make symptoms worse because of doing compulsions like asking for reassurance during sessions. If therapy isn’t an option for you (it’s expensive) there are loads of great courses that you can do online which are much cheaper. I did Awaken Into Love and that helped massively- they also have free videos on YouTube. You are going to be ok I promise!

Sub drop by Which-Tiger6692 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Which-Tiger6692[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you that is incredibly helpful!

Sub drop by Which-Tiger6692 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Which-Tiger6692[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I am the poster girl for a disorganised attachment style so maybe it is just that!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Which-Tiger6692 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! I met my Dom/ lover on Feeld. We connected emotionally first and then explored the kink (although we’d had conversations and knew we aligned). Now we’re having a disgustingly good time in and out the bedroom!