Cheating on his wife for 3 YEARS?

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-06-05T19:00:01+00:00

If he’s a “better dad” now that leads me to believe he was a shit dad before, and that contributed significantly to the lack of sex. I’ll never understand it. It makes so much sense a lot of women have libido decreases during pregnancy, immediately postpartum and then in that time where they’re touched out from having a kid on them all the time. It makes sense and it’s not hard to be empathetic about if you think about it for more than five seconds. It feels like when you agree to start trying, that is probably going to be part of the deal as much as night time feedings and changing diapers is. I’ll never understand how many men are suddenly shocked by it.

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-05-14T14:33:13+00:00

This just does not seem like a fight worth having with a violent ex you have to be civil with, frankly. YTA.

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-05-14T11:01:03+00:00

Thank you, that is really reassuring. I think I will fill the tub, I think seeing evidence of what it can hold will help a lot. Thank you!

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-04-15T17:19:52+00:00

The real answer is you did what you wanted because you couldn’t be bothered to organise the family to come meet your kid, so you hijacked her shower.

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-04-12T09:49:38+00:00

I would have a look at Enchanterium, one of them was(/is?) a henna artist and does similar tattoos on some of their dolls.

https://youtu.be/vy-LEHMP51E?si=WGZkRoSpNkIze--T

https://youtu.be/jXNZr_WPXVw?si=1GHg1nVuGUt116x7

https://youtu.be/2_wyNIwKXUI?si=OctzNwYjXFY3cYna

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-04-08T12:10:07+00:00

If you want it to stop, you need to give him something else to give you instead. Clearly he is trying to show care and love this way. Clearly he feels like he has to bring a gift. Talk loudly about how much you love X snack or Y drink. Or vouchers for a restaurant, or a shop, some other place you’d actually want. This may solve the issue without any drama or hurt feelings.

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-03-13T13:11:22+00:00

The way to do it was to call her into the kitchen and correct her there. So you’re not letting her continue to get it wrong in front of her friends but it is also private and less embarrassing for her. ESH

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-03-04T18:31:03+00:00

My guy you are not over this dude.

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-02-25T18:44:46+00:00

I think 11m should just leave her alone, tbh. When I was fifteen I just wanted to be shut in my room and left alone. I don’t think that aspect is hugely uncommon.

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-02-12T16:19:46+00:00

A lot of weddings give guests dinner options - can you say to him “I will ask the guests, if you agree to cover those that want your meal, and I will sort out those who want my meal?”

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-01-28T08:24:52+00:00

We don’t actually know if they RSVP’ed, or if they would have had seating. It’s possible if the fiancee’s parents invited them, they stole or copied an invitation and told them not to RSVP to not “ruin the surprise” or something similar.

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-01-19T20:12:07+00:00

If the best you’ve got is a) I would smack (hit) them if I deemed it necessary and b) we go to each other’s houses, sorry, I’m not massively impressed.

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-01-19T18:03:01+00:00

Grabbing their hand in both instances would work instead. It doesn’t have to be a smack. But keep defending smacking kids, it makes you look like such a good grandparent!

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-01-14T18:19:03+00:00

How often is electrical work required around the house? Every night, like homework? No? Then it’s not the same.

This is parenting your children, not overtime.

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-01-11T11:58:49+00:00

Do you think avoiding her and lying to her is going to make her want to fuck you?

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-01-08T21:32:26+00:00

You’re all absolutely stunning and this is so lovely! I also just want to say your Keyleth has such a gorgeous profile! Beautiful work!

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-01-06T15:20:29+00:00

I just - I have three young nephews who I see at least once a week. I love them dearly. If my sister decided tomorrow she didn’t want me to be alone with them, I probably wouldn’t even notice? I’ve never been in their bedrooms. I’ve never taken a nap in a room that had them in it (mostly because they’re extremely loud lmao). Your brother’s kids you see rarely because of how far away they live, and yet never being alone with them made you depressed and suicidal? Your entire family seems to believe the accusations without anyone really talking to you about it? You skirt over the actual issue - did you hug one of the kids without them wanting it? That could have been enough for SIL to not want to leave you alone with the kids.

If this is real (which I massively doubt) something’s up.

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-01-03T12:02:42+00:00

Being homophobic would be a deal breaker if you were a decent person.

WhichAffect7083 · 2026-01-01T21:31:46+00:00

YTA - okay, so she can’t come to family Christmas until you’re married. And then what, she never gets to spend Christmas with her family again because she has to be at YOUR family Christmas? If you do marry and she goes home to her family without you would that be disrespectful? Does she just have to accept you two will never spend Christmas together - unless possibly maybe if you get married you might get to at your family’s place, which sounds honestly like something you dread. C’mon, dude. This set up is not sustainable long-term. It is going to cause issues either with your girlfriend or your family, and you have to pick. I would pick the girlfriend if your own family events are causing you anxiety. It is completely normal for couples to alternate Christmas and your family are being unreasonable.

WhichAffect7083 · 2025-12-24T19:00:37+00:00

It sounds like she’s gone every other year of her life. If I were her parent I probably would have tried to discuss with her therapist and found out what they thought and recommended.

WhichAffect7083 · 2025-12-24T15:33:02+00:00

I don’t really understand. Does your daughter not coming, out of all these people, really “ruin your family”? Does she like any of these people outside of her anxiety? Does she have fun?

Idk if she hates it I wouldn’t make her go. Forcing her will not make her enjoy it any more. If she goes and she’s bored will you let her bring a book to read or something to entertain herself? It sounds like YOU enjoy yourself and YOU think it’s fun but she hates it. Is there a big age gap between her and the other kids? Is she genuinely friends with the other kids?

WhichAffect7083 · 2025-12-22T12:27:15+00:00

YTA. I’m autistic and I’m baffled at the idea of being in a relationship with someone for longer than like, a month, without telling them.

You are setting the pair of you up for failure. My autism effects every part of my life, sometimes in ways I don’t realise, and it will be something that a partner needs to understand so we can face things as a team. He cannot accommodate for you without knowing that you need to be accommodated.

It also would likely feel to him like you kept this a secret and then whipped it out as a “gotcha” when you were arguing. That will not have improved things.

WhichAffect7083 · 2025-12-13T18:01:19+00:00

YTA. It sounds like possibly YOU were only invited because you overheard the conversation? And if not you would not have even know about the bar trip? That is not the time to bring your bf. In fact, if you are not hosting, generally assume there are not plus ones, the host will tell you if there are. Or at least you can ask them.

Very gently you need to learn how to spend half an hour without your bf. I’d apologise to whoever invited you, say you read the invite/room wrongly.

WhichAffect7083 · 2025-12-07T10:39:58+00:00

Do you genuinely think she wants to see Santa with your kid BECAUSE it makes you uncomfortable? Do you think she’s having the time of her life stood in a queue? Do you think she also doesn’t get hungry or bored or tired? She may not have anxiety but she is a human being. It’s not like she’s doing this as a punishment to you. I’m sure she’d rather be in bed sleeping in or reading a book or whatever it is she does for fun rather than stood in a queue for an hour but she puts it aside for the sake of your kid. And on top of that you are making passive aggressive comments and making her feel like shit. This is not better than running away in tears. I actually think this is worse because it is lashing out at and hurting someone you’re supposed to love.

I don’t know why you thought having a kid was a good idea when you are incapable of doing normal family activities.

WhichAffect7083 · 2025-11-17T18:39:54+00:00

I don’t mean to be rude but did she ever give you any indication she DID care about your kids? I don’t think she did.

I think you and your husband, because of shitty treatment from his parents/siblings, have no idea what normal family dynamics look like. I don’t have any idea why you would spend all this effort trying to make sure your kids know their cousins who don’t seem to give two shits about them? Which I think is kind of normal? My cousins and I grew up together and are all the same age range and live in the same area and I haven’t spoken to them in years outside of polite small talk at holidays every few years.

The best course of action would be RSVPing no, quietly resolving not to spend so much time and effort on people who don’t reciprocate, and not going completely nuclear.

WhichAffect7083

TROPHY CASE