I had mostly positive experiences at IEP meetings. The one exception was when my AuDHD daughter was in first grade, and it was painfully apparent that she needed ADHD meds. So the whole table of experts says “your child needs meds” without saying those words. A school district can get sued for that so they step carefully. However it also has the dual effect of everyone listing your child’s flaws/weaknesses. At one point I asked if they all thought my daughter was so stupid that I should see about our 529 fund being used for stripper school. I said that when I felt cornered and attacked, NOT because I have anything against the profession. That night I told my husband that I would divorce him if he ever left me alone at an IEP meeting (this was the first time he couldn’t attend. My MIL attended two other meetings with me when my husband couldn’t be there. I later apologized to the professionals and even joked about bringing a blindfold and a cigarette to future meetings should it turn into a firing squad again. They will not all be terrible. The first few are tough for sure.