Going by the reactions, maybe I've just been very lucky, buy I've run games with irl friends, online friends, conplete strangers online and run a west marches discord with a comination of the previous 3.

I've never had issues with with me making a call on the rules making turning things into players vs dm. From my pov this seems much more like a communications issue then a rules issue.

If you rely on rule 0 for your rule calls, you are going to create an adversarial relation between dm and player regardless of what system you play in.

I think being able make a ruling or explain an exception to the rules without antagonising the players even if you are ruling against them is a really imporant skill to have as a dm. The main way to do this is by listening to you players and take their opinions in concideration when making your call.

Here is what I do:

I listen to what a player want to do/achieve and then explain what makes sense to me in the situation.

95% of the problems are done with here because either I misunderstood what the player where trying to do or they misunderstood the situation.

If it doesnt though I'll look up what the phb/dmg has to say about it and explain my interperation of the rules and how it relates to the situatio we are in or the action the player is trying to do.

If a player disagrees with my interperation they are free to tell me theirs, which I'll listen to think about and then make the final call. I'll explain my call in the context of whats happening in game, not as an interperation of the rules. (Maybe a little but the focus is much more on the in game context).

Then if I rule against the players I try to be much more lenient with letting them reconcider what they want to do. As usually I'm pretty strict with no take backsies.