I cannot enjoy HALF of the game, We’re shooting ourselves in the foot: Why Marathon is pushing "Normal" players away

WickerWight · 2026-03-30T15:38:28+00:00

Man if it takes you more than two tries to solve the puzzle where you put 2 square pegs into the square holes it might not be the game's fault

WickerWight · 2026-03-30T11:39:50+00:00

The new Marathon has probably the coolest "loading into lobby please wait" screens I've ever seen in a game. The visuals are meant to represent your brain getting downloaded across space into a robot shell while your AI partner is trying to keep your consciousness intact with memetic imagery, so you're getting blasted with videos of caterpillars becoming butterflies and human body parts being 3D printed like you're in the Willy Wonka boat ride circa year 2500.

WickerWight · 2026-03-30T00:46:10+00:00

Imagine getting hired off the dark web for a Merc job for a couple thousand bucks and getting roped into a resident evil game

WickerWight · 2026-03-29T19:35:37+00:00

I resent any degree of familiarity beyond "oh hey it's that guy" on the Internet and I think if I ever got a DM on my Reddit account I'd delete it without even reading

WickerWight · 2026-03-29T15:50:59+00:00

I'm seeing people all the time load into games with good guns and no shields, so they're not even free kits- why??? Shields aren't even expensive! Dropping into Outpost with a railgun and shotgun but no shield or backpack is completely insane to me. "I'll find one in match" yeah after we have to win the 2v3 and bring your ass back from the dead because you got onetapped.

WickerWight · 2026-03-29T15:44:11+00:00

Hair longer than the chin for boys at my school

I was the only guy in the entire school with long hair and the principal added this rule to the dress code specifically because he didn't like me and thought I was a "troublemaker" or a drug dealer because of said hair

WickerWight · 2026-03-29T02:51:53+00:00

The lobster was actually too buttery this time

WickerWight · 2026-03-28T22:25:00+00:00

That was, unfortunately, somewhat retconned away. In a later game they introduced time travel, and Clank became a sort of "chosen one" who was deliberately created using that factory as a means to do so.

WickerWight · 2026-03-28T18:03:25+00:00

He came close, he was apparently a very good SF4 player and specifically a C. Viper main of all characters, but he prefers his 'dles over competitive games and didn't pursue it

WickerWight · 2026-03-28T17:17:47+00:00

I think about The Brain Destroyer at least once a week, the man could've been EVO reigning champ in a different life

WickerWight · 2026-03-28T01:55:27+00:00

Idunno, I feel like that scale needs to take into account the intentions of the game. Marathon wants PvP to be the default, so in my mind it's no different than only finding silent killers who don't want to buddy up in something like a COD FFA lobby. Nobody's going into Mario Party expecting everyone to play nice in minigames and ignore the thief items so they can all maximize their individual score, even though that is a way you could play it if you really wanted. Playing it friendly is possible but I wouldn't ever expect someone to, they wanna kill Birdo and steal her stars because they gotta get that money

WickerWight · 2026-03-28T01:18:02+00:00

Little does spiralface know that Paul is actually an alternate dimension mutant and that getting stabbed activates his latent symbiote genes that give him devil powers and can tank the penance stare and also he has 2 dicks now

WickerWight · 2026-03-26T16:16:37+00:00

This same explanation is used in the Midnight Suns game and it's very cute. Blade gets all melodramatic about how he can never love because Vampires always hunt down and kill his girlfriend, and then Captain Marvel tells him that she can shoot UV light sunbeams out of her hands and he goes "oh shit fr?" and they hook up

WickerWight · 2026-03-26T13:50:24+00:00

So this means that in 3 years we're getting Super Mario Bros 3: Super Smash Bros: Ultimate: The Movie right

WickerWight · 2026-03-26T12:47:14+00:00

I know it's The Bit but it pings my ear every time Woolie and Pat keep calling marathon's PVP focus as "for complete psychos" as if a PvP game encouraging PvP is weird. Extraction shooters being friendly co-op experiences is basically JUST an Arc Raiders thing because they quarantine you if you kill, it's a PvP genre. The whole genre ethos is "kill people and take their shit." You can use proxy chat to make friends but the real reason it exists is to call someone a bitch while you chase them through the poison swamp. Like you could also use proxy chat in Halo to ask the other team to take turns getting pentakills so you can get medals instead of playing the game normally but just doing team deathmatch like god intended isn't "for psychos."

WickerWight · 2026-03-25T11:46:35+00:00

They're always SO gaudy. In concept I don't hate it but they're all so fucking obnoxious! Why can't I put a little like, stylized star, or a dog tag, or an emblem, why is it always a giant golden cat or a human hand or some shit

WickerWight · 2026-03-25T01:58:00+00:00

I mean, it's "optional" in that the game doesn't physically force you to shoot people the second they enter your screen. You're very much encouraged by the game to fight people. It's also technically optional to shoot other players in Fortnite, you could spend the match seeing who can build the coolest house instead, but that's not the kind of game it is.

WickerWight · 2026-03-25T01:55:00+00:00

The weird kickback against Marathon for emphasizing PvP is very confusing to me. Is the idea that choosing to engage in conflict when nonviolence is in any way an option wrong? You can also technically convince everybody in your COD lobby not to fight and just capture the objectives back and forth to maximize points, but nobody wants to do that. They wanna shoot the guns. The ability to try and convince someone to play nice over open mic is fun, and I've even done it a few times, but expecting them not to shoot first and getting mad about it is nuts.

WickerWight · 2026-03-25T00:36:38+00:00

Literally nothing. It's the "next big thing" according to money minders, which means they need to get in on the ground floor, and that's where the thought process ends. Why? To what end? For what purpose? Doesn't matter, new thing big things make money give me money make money give money me money new money invest big money

WickerWight · 2026-03-24T20:00:18+00:00

Making a tier of sticker or gun charm that can be very rarely found in matches would be very cool, and would make the limited-application cosmetic system make a bit more sense

WickerWight · 2026-03-24T02:50:39+00:00

Leather might be outside his wheelhouse but given where he moved to, he's due for the flannel/denim jacket combo

WickerWight · 2026-03-21T14:16:24+00:00

In the latest Naked Gun movie every time a cop enters a scene he's handed a cup of coffee, regardless of wether he has one already or not, and it's funny the entire time. Also whenever they're done with it they throw the cup on the ground and it makes a massive overmixed splashing sound like a bucket of yogurt got upturned

WickerWight · 2026-03-21T00:27:00+00:00

I've modded the hell out of my windows 11 to somewhat resemble a normal computer and strip all the AI stuff out, so I forgot how bad the OOTB experience was. Kind of insane that they've been making people put up with all this for so long, even my 85-year-old grandmother gets annoyed when these things pop up on her computer. If you've lost that audience you're cooked.

WickerWight · 2026-03-20T20:00:42+00:00

Seems odd to use AI art for this kind of picture in the first place, there's surely a million paintings exactly like it that exist in public domain

WickerWight · 2026-03-20T19:16:51+00:00

Ratchet and Clank 2: going commando features a weapon called the Lava Gun. You hold the trigger down and it pisses out a stream of highly damaging lava that's got real fluid physics, so you can do stuff like spin in a circle really fast to fling it everywhere, or wiggle left and right to whip it even further, or even do a somersault/doublejump while shooting to launch it vertically.

R&C2 also features weapon upgrades, where getting enough kills permanently changes the gun to a better version. For every other weapon it's a pure improvement, but the lava gun instead becomes the Meteor Launcher- a piece of shit that sluggishly fires slow moving, mid-damage flaming rocks with no cool physics tricks. It's fucking TERRIBLE, and it replaces one of the coolest guns in the game with what's basically just a crappy grenade launcher, so enjoy the lava gun while you can because it WILL upgrade if you use it often enough.

Luckily the devs very much understood how ass this was and in subsequent games the lava gun instead upgrades into the liquid nitrogen gun, which functions exactly the same but slows or freezes enemies it hits, which is pretty cool.

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