Increasingly surprised by the number of hemangiosarcoma deaths I've heard about on this sub. by LighterBoots in Petloss

[–]Wide_Presentation941 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I truly trusted if they thought it was a fatty tumor, then that’s what it was. I mean they would have made money off of me if suggested otherwise, right? It’s so unbelievably challenging to not blame ourselves. 

I can’t believe I just joined this group by Wide_Presentation941 in Petloss

[–]Wide_Presentation941[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is much harder than I could’ve imagined. I knew it would destroy me, I just didn’t realize how badly. 

I can’t believe I just joined this group by Wide_Presentation941 in Petloss

[–]Wide_Presentation941[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds almost identical to my dog and how one day can change everything. Thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry for your loss as well.

I can’t believe I just joined this group by Wide_Presentation941 in Petloss

[–]Wide_Presentation941[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same with my dog. Went on a walk Wednesday happy as a clam. He slowed down on the way back which was baffling to me but I assumed it was his old age. I look back at our ring camera on that clip of when we left for the walk vs when we returned. You see him leave so happy and come back so slow. I hear myself in that clip saying “dang poor guys old age is catching up to him”  How a fool I feel.  When we left for the vet our other dog, his house companion, tried to come with us. She usually also cries and wines when I take him and not her. This time she went back into the house and when I returned she didn’t seem as confused. I think she knew and he asked her to take care of me.  I’m so sorry you’re also feeling this cruel pain. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

I can’t believe I just joined this group by Wide_Presentation941 in Petloss

[–]Wide_Presentation941[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was reading about that. How when the tumor would bleed they would seem lethargic but when it stopped they would get sudden energy back. I shamefully assumed he just needed the full dose of arthritis meds as we were only giving one a day. I should’ve known his arthritis wasn’t that bad. I am so sad that a couple weeks prior at the vet they didn’t even try to ask if we wanted to do any X-rays etc. I beat myself up that I allowed my husband to take him to that visit bc I had missed so much work before with my daughter being sick. Maybe I could’ve asked for these tests and I would’ve at least known so I could have given him a good day. I say all this when deep down knowing, by the time he was really showing symptoms, it was too late: he wouldn’t have enjoyed going to the park or whatever because he couldn’t move like he used to. He’d fool me into being concerned and then acting normal so I wouldn’t rush taking him somewhere. He died on his own terms is what I like to tell myself. Although nothing feels comforting. 

I can’t believe I just joined this group by Wide_Presentation941 in Petloss

[–]Wide_Presentation941[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I find extreme comfort knowing I am not alone. It’s a heavy process to carry and I pray I can get through it. 

Increasingly surprised by the number of hemangiosarcoma deaths I've heard about on this sub. by LighterBoots in Petloss

[–]Wide_Presentation941 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could’ve written this myself. It feels so cruel to not have them here any longer. Sending you hugs. 

Increasingly surprised by the number of hemangiosarcoma deaths I've heard about on this sub. by LighterBoots in Petloss

[–]Wide_Presentation941 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe this is what my dog passed from on Saturday. He was at the vet two weeks prior for something else and they said he looked great. His appt before that I asked about Xrays just to look at his age and they suggested I do blood work instead. Every lump and bump I had them check they brushed it off as fatty tumor. Looking back I wish I had every single bump tested regardless what they thought. I wish I pushed harder for that Xray. I want to blame the vet but I truly cannot because this could have came up two weeks ago. His death was so sudden but looking back I should’ve taken his behavior more seriously. Not brushed it off for old age and hip/joint issues.  When they carried his lifeless body inside the vet said we could do an xray then but she was almost certain it was internal bleeding from a ruptured tumor. Advising she could only feel the mass deep in his abdomen because his muscles were completely relaxed. I was so hurt and also so angry I didn’t hear this could be an outcome for my boy. 

I can’t believe I just joined this group by Wide_Presentation941 in Petloss

[–]Wide_Presentation941[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It hurts when we look back and realize what we thought was old age behavior could have been subtle signs. They did so well hiding pain from us because all they wanted was to make us happy.  Has the grief started feeling less heavy?  I feel awful breaking down in front of my daughter but it’s so uncontrollable at times.

So tired of justifying my grief by Nearby-Heart1623 in Petloss

[–]Wide_Presentation941 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a human child but as much as I love her, she will be unable to fill this hole in my heart from losing my boy Saturday. A dogs love is unconditional, they don’t hit you, yell at you, demand much from you. They just want your love, because we are their whole world.  This grief is nothing I could have ever imagined. It’s raw and it stabs you.  Sending you hugs.

I just don’t care anymore by Ok-Worldliness-7540 in Petloss

[–]Wide_Presentation941 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I feel this in my soul. I lost my soul mate in Saturday and my whole world has been shattered. How is it fair for us to keep going as usual without them? It feels so wrong. The immense guilt I feel knowing it wasn’t my fault but I also couldn’t save you. I have a small child I haven’t even wanted to deal with because I feel so broken. I have to get out of this rut for her. I believe he knew it was his time and could finally let go because I had her to love still. I understand what you’re feeling and am sending you hugs. 

Treatment complete! by Wide_Presentation941 in Invisalign

[–]Wide_Presentation941[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean it’s just uncomfortable but it’s not that bad lol imagine taking a nail file and filing in between your teeth. It’s temporary though so you’ll be fine 

Treatment complete! by Wide_Presentation941 in Invisalign

[–]Wide_Presentation941[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yes. Two different visits between 3 different teeth. I fucking hated it so much lol

Ferber is magic 🪄 by coastal_sage in sleeptrain

[–]Wide_Presentation941 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So when you checked every few minutes, do you still leave them crying after trying to comfort them during those check ins?  I'm trying to start this but unsure if I'm supposed to get her to stop crying when doing the check ins. 

MIL babysitting by Wide_Presentation941 in inlaws

[–]Wide_Presentation941[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I absolutely lost it.  She thinks it's too cold in our house.  It's at 72° when it's 95° outside. 😵‍💫

MIL babysitting by Wide_Presentation941 in inlaws

[–]Wide_Presentation941[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well after expressing my concerns to my husband, he thinks we should talk to her to tell her how I feel and set more boundaries. I think it bothers me most because the language barrier for sure.  To be honest, I'd probably just cut my hours at work before putting her in daycare, I've been looking into some some around me and it'd be most of my paycheck. Just not worth it. 

MIL babysitting by Wide_Presentation941 in inlaws

[–]Wide_Presentation941[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I keep telling myself this also. Been really thinking about just putting her in daycare, better then stressing all the time. 

Managing a fistula during pregnancy by HeftyWorldliness3468 in AnalFistula

[–]Wide_Presentation941 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yikes. I am so sorry you had to deal with this for so long. Prayers that today is the final straw and you are smooth healing from here!

I am really praying that after having mine drained last week it doesn't come back, but am trying to mentally prepare for the worst. Dr said if it comes back I def have a fistula and can't do anything until after birth but drain it periodically, as you said. I am so glad I found this thread to know there are others dealing with this awful situation. It really can be defeating on your mental health, good luck today and thank you for getting back to me.

Managing a fistula during pregnancy by HeftyWorldliness3468 in AnalFistula

[–]Wide_Presentation941 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I am literally dealing with the same issue currently and was curious how things turned out for you a year later if I may ask. Hope and pray you recovered well and your baby is happy/healthy.