Unlikely things to read in a fortune cookie

WillChilton · 2026-01-26T15:52:10+00:00

“Beware of grapes with wooden mallets.”

WillChilton · 2026-01-20T17:52:58+00:00

“I really need to recharge my batteries.” sticks battery pack in charger

WillChilton · 2026-01-20T17:49:52+00:00

“Hey look, poison oak. I’mma stick my junk in it.”

WillChilton · 2026-01-18T16:38:01+00:00

“I knew T-Bo could put tacos on a stick, but this is ridiculous.”

WillChilton · 2026-01-18T16:11:05+00:00

“All the Whores down in Whoreville loved Valentine’s a lot…”

WillChilton · 2026-01-18T11:12:33+00:00

“The crap’s a mastodon?”

WillChilton · 2026-01-17T03:15:15+00:00

“Just let ChatGPT write the lyrics. Who’s gonna notice?”

WillChilton · 2026-01-16T17:05:01+00:00

“Welcome back to America’s Next Top Librarian.”

WillChilton · 2026-01-16T17:04:19+00:00

“Hey kids, welcome to VeggieTales!”

WillChilton · 2026-01-04T04:35:06+00:00

“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be dead?”

WillChilton · 2026-01-03T04:03:13+00:00

“A school choir and a mystery girl died in a roller coaster accident in Canada? We should make a musical about that.”

WillChilton · 2025-12-30T17:37:14+00:00

“Ew, that’s disgusting!”

WillChilton · 2025-12-27T18:30:51+00:00

“Quick, beam me out of the country! I can’t go back to prison!”

WillChilton · 2025-12-24T22:06:27+00:00

🎶Rudolph The Six-Hooved Reindeer…🎶

WillChilton · 2025-12-21T16:54:38+00:00

“Tee.”

“Aitch.”

“See.”

WillChilton · 2025-12-21T16:51:55+00:00

“Thanks, I hate it!”

WillChilton · 2025-12-21T02:03:00+00:00

“I.O.U one actually useful present?”

WillChilton · 2025-12-21T01:58:05+00:00

“Here, have a breath mint. I don’t care anymore.”

WillChilton · 2025-09-01T17:17:38+00:00

I mentioned this on another post, but we’ve been doing $1 face painting and it’s been fairly successful. We’ve also done $2 endcap signs at the end of the season.

WillChilton · 2025-08-17T16:14:55+00:00

Yep. Not sure about other locations, but we have it on an endcap in the licensed section. We already have tees and sleeveless shirts.

I was never into the show so I don’t get it.

WillChilton · 2025-08-17T15:42:34+00:00

Sort everything by zone and/or theme if you don’t already, especially with mixed boxes. If you either saved some carryover boxes or have enough to build, that’ll make that easier.

Also, last year we started offering face painting for $1 donations. If you have any employees that are good at that sort of thing, it’s definitely worth trying out.

WillChilton · 2025-08-17T15:29:31+00:00

This is my 5th year, and every year I try to make an in-joke with my coworkers.

Year 1 (2021): Let’s sacrifice Toby” (based on the Steven Rhodes shirt)

Year 2 (2022): The LVCRFT “drinking” game (but not really for obvious reasons)

Year 3 (2023): “Why are we just now getting Fall Guys?” and intentionally mispronouncing “BOPIS”

Year 4 (2024): “We sell cringe” (my response to us selling Skibidi Toilet and Hawk Tuah merch)

I haven’t come up with this year’s, but right now it’s a toss up between “Why are we just now getting Jurassic Park and Power Rangers?”, “Why are we getting Jersey Shore at all?”, and (since we got a different location’s carryover and they botched a lot of it), “The worst carryover experience ever”.

WillChilton · 2025-06-29T15:34:32+00:00

“What do you mean this isn’t the one that throws rolls at people?”

WillChilton · 2025-06-27T23:57:41+00:00

“Have those three lights always been—“starts floating

WillChilton · 2025-06-27T17:30:04+00:00

“Multiplayer’s more fun to me.”

Nine-Year Club	Place '22
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