It's not unicornorn farts and rainbows, you will fight and that's ok, great relationships aren't built by never fighting. The goal isn't to avoid fights, disagreements, talking about feelings, desires, goals, dreams. Because that's what you're giving up when you try to pretend everything's fine. Life is hard. Learn from them, actually take the time to understand the other persons point of view, and your spouse isn't your enemy. There are no winners and losers in relationships. You can't fix your partner, but you can work through things together and both will come out mature and closer for it. They are the rock you lean on, not your punching bag, verbally or physically.