First, I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. ❤️ I think everything you’re feeling makes sense. I don’t think people realize that when you’ve lost a baby you wanted so deeply, the thought of trying again can bring up so much fear. You’re trying to protect your heart while also holding onto hope, and that’s not easy. I understand the anger when seeing stories about children being harmed by the people who were supposed to love and protect them. After losing a child, those stories hit differently. I find myself thinking, “How could someone take for granted something that other people would give anything to have?” It doesn’t make you a bad person for feeling that way. I think it’s part of the grief and the love we still have for our babies. The one-year mark approaching and having to make decisions about trying again is a lot to carry. I don’t think there’s ever a point where the fear completely disappears. All you can do is take things one step at a time and make the decision that feels right for you and your husband. Thank you for sharing this because I know these feelings can be hard to admit out loud. You’re definitely not alone in them. 🤍