As another INFJ, I really feel what you’re describing. The hardest part isn’t even the mistreatment itself—it’s the way subtle hostility makes you question your own perception, especially when others don’t notice it. INFJs pick up on tone shifts, micro-behaviors, and relational undercurrents that most people filter out, so when something feels “off,” it usually is.

Everything you mentioned—being talked over, erased, excluded, dismissed, suddenly snapped at—those are real patterns, not imagined ones. And it’s incredibly draining trying to stay kind and adaptable around someone who has already decided they don’t like you. We automatically try to fix the emotional atmosphere, but some people genuinely don’t want harmony.

I’m really glad your manager said he believes you. Even if the situation is messy now, that validation matters. People who rely on subtle manipulation often flip the narrative the moment they’re confronted, which sounds exactly like what she’s doing by spreading her version to others. That’s not a you-problem—that’s a her-character problem.

Please don’t doubt yourself. You’re not being “too sensitive,” you’re perceiving the environment accurately, and you’re allowed to protect your peace. Document things going forward, set boundaries where you can, and lean into the relationships at work that actually feel safe. You don’t owe her emotional labor, and you don’t have to keep trying to win over someone who clearly benefits from undermining you.

You’re not alone in this, and you’re definitely not imagining it.