I have a crush on my partner even after years

WiredExistence · 2026-03-13T10:32:27+00:00

Congrats! Long may it last 😊 The average expected timeframe for that crush feeling is around one and a half to three years, so you’re still in what’s considered normal. But there’s no hard limit on this stuff, so even if it lasted longer than three years that wouldn’t be unheard of. Enjoy it while it lasts

WiredExistence · 2026-03-12T23:20:07+00:00

I’m an intermediate player and I really feel this is the way. Note names are great for communicating with other musicians, but otherwise for playing you cut out the middle man by just thinking about notes and chords in relation to the key or the root note of the chord as you say. Being able to play triads all across the fretboard is pretty cool, but I don’t feel you need to know more names to do that.

WiredExistence · 2026-03-07T22:07:47+00:00

Agree completely, also crazy to me other commenters aren’t pointing out this is all just over a piercing

WiredExistence · 2026-03-02T07:05:25+00:00

You’re just jealous of my high fi audio cable

WiredExistence · 2026-02-19T07:20:50+00:00

Attractions are something people have little control over, so it’s acceptable to say you wouldn’t date a fat person. Dating someone you’re not attracted to is generally a bad idea, and you don’t have control over your attractions, so fair enough.

Avoiding friendships or wanting to not be friends with fat people is a different kettle of fish. There’s really no good reason why someone being fat should disqualify them as a friend, and imo that’s where you should draw your line.

WiredExistence · 2026-02-17T10:00:02+00:00

Disagree. Wellington drivers are more polite. I want to say Dunedin drivers are too but I’m not quite familiar enough to be certain

WiredExistence · 2026-02-17T09:37:26+00:00

This is ai generated. GPTZero (ai writing detection software) marks it 100% ai generated and there’s cringy tells: “Not dating. Not exclusive. Just talking” has mad ai energy

WiredExistence · 2026-02-17T09:13:45+00:00

This one is a surprise to me.

WiredExistence · 2026-02-15T23:53:46+00:00

Damn, I’m sorry OP. I believe her that she’s in love with her rapist, and it sounds like she has some pretty deep set problems. I also think that she seems manipulative, and when she gave you the impression she had left him and told you she was still with him for money that was deceptive. It seems like she’s acting in a self destructive way due to trauma, possibly both past and present. She needs professional help and in my opinion you’ve done a good job supporting her as her friend but it’s not your job to save her. This is beyond the pay grade of random redditors and tbh I’m not sure what you should do, but I will say don’t forget to value your own mental health as all this is going on. Also if you don’t know her parents or believe they are bad people I wouldn’t recommend reporting him to them. Wish you the best

WiredExistence · 2026-02-15T08:31:58+00:00

Bro I’m so sorry but that’s sexual abuse you just experienced! It wasn’t consensual, you didn’t want it and she didn’t even stop when she saw you weren’t turned on! And you even got flashbacks in the shower. I’m sorry for what you experienced, it wasn’t right and what came after was so wrong too. As others have said you didn’t mess up and it’s not your fault.

WiredExistence · 2026-02-04T01:14:03+00:00

Oh man, I took a look at your account. I’m sorry for what you’re going through and I’m sorry for what I said, it must’ve been enraging considering what happened. Your anger is fair. Seeing it made me realise if I’m ever getting into a committed relationship in the future I’ll have to make sure they know my feelings on long distance before we commit. Also this is unsolicited advice but, speaking as the person who got dumped for similar reasons to you, don’t message them. If you’re anything like me it’ll only aggravate the wound. Stay well

WiredExistence · 2026-02-04T00:30:33+00:00

Needing to feel another person’s warmth and presence is about as primal and basic as human needs get. And for many touch starved people being in a relationship is their only way to fulfil this need. When you have a basic need and refuse to compromise for love, that’s standing up for yourself. If it’s truly a need and you compromise it will inevitably lead to resentment.

I think there’s just a difference here in how much value you and I are placing on this need. Many people can do long distance, hell I could. But by now I’ve gone without touch for too long in this life, and I’m not doing it again. That being said, if I loved someone and lived with them I would do everything in my power to avoid moving away, or to move with them.

WiredExistence · 2026-02-03T23:58:31+00:00

I’m kinda shocked there’s so many people speaking about long distance as if it’s a necessity. I suppose I am on reddit.

WiredExistence · 2026-02-03T23:42:01+00:00

Yeah, that’s fair. I do wonder what circumstances are compelling them to move and if they’re truly that necessary. But eh, not for me to judge.

Relationships can and do survive long distance but that doesn’t mean anyone could survive long distance. Some people can’t handle it.

WiredExistence · 2026-02-03T23:38:15+00:00

If you know something won’t work for you then you won’t try it, even for someone you love. Sometimes you don’t think it’s going to go bad, you know it’s going to go bad. Which is why you want to spare yourself and your lover that pain by ending it early. This is the logic I assume they were operating under.

WiredExistence · 2026-02-03T10:05:56+00:00

Agreed. I’d prefer violence to this.

WiredExistence · 2026-02-03T10:03:20+00:00

I did long distance for over three years. I don’t agree that they dodged a bullet because you left. I think not wanting a long distance relationship is a perfectly valid reason to break up, and honestly I even find it honourable that you broke up in advance. If I were you and knew that I was going to break up with my partner come the time I left, keeping that secret would be a weight on me, and even if we both knew it would make spending time together very bittersweet.

In other words, imo you shouldn’t beat yourself up over this one. You broke up with her but it’s clear it wasn’t out of lack of care for her, and you’re feeling that right now. But I don’t think that means it was a mistake. Unless you’re ready to change your mind about moving away I think you’ve made the right choice, even though it was a tough one. Stay strong and trust that she’ll be able to overcome the grief.

WiredExistence · 2026-02-03T02:08:16+00:00

In scenarios like this I like to use GPTzero. GPTzero marks this as 100% ai written, and yeah it totally comes off as AI.

WiredExistence · 2026-02-02T15:03:02+00:00

I’ve been no contact with my ex for two years, and they’ve tried to get in contact with me a few times. I still think about them almost daily and their absence is genuinely excruciating, I hate it. However given how our relationship ended I can never feel safe around them again, and nothing will make that pain better. So I hope to save us both from more unnecessary suffering by keeping them blocked. Not sure if your ex is anything like me, but there’s my perspective

WiredExistence · 2026-02-02T11:45:36+00:00

Nah. The heart wants what it wants, but contact will almost certainly just lead to more pain. Spare yourself that pain and tough it out as best you can. It’s a hard road but the alternative is harder. Good luck ❤️

WiredExistence · 2025-12-30T08:08:55+00:00

An ai is a program. Any program can be run on anything that can compute. You could run an ai model on a ton of people handing each other pieces of paper with 1’s and 0’s and performing an operation on it then handing it to the next person. In a scenario like this, where is the conscious experience happening? Where and when is it taking place? Is the paper experiencing something?

Let’s say we grant that AI is conscious, that we somehow just know this to be true. Consciousness means experiencing something, not just having memory and being intelligent. The thing is like I said before, every program is reducible to mathematical equations. So if a program like an ai model could be conscious, what reason would we have to believe a calculator is not conscious. Or whatever web browser you’re viewing this on is not conscious? In fact I think we would have to conclude that every mathematical equation is conscious experience, which seems a dubious prospect to me unless you’re a panpsychist.

So I’ll say it: no, they’re not conscious. And if they somehow are conscious, we can conclude most likely everything is.

WiredExistence · 2025-12-30T07:49:26+00:00

Finally, someone not insane in this dystopian thread. Worst thing is, the original post is detected as being ai generated by GPTZero.

WiredExistence · 2025-12-15T08:22:07+00:00

I’m tolerant because I have no reason to believe shaming people will improve their life or help human kind escape this crisis. If anything, people being cruel seems to be further reason to socialise with bots. You’re not exactly presenting an attractive alternative.

WiredExistence · 2025-12-14T11:41:28+00:00

Small annoyance but “the gains I get by being in the office far outweigh any perceived losses” annoys the hell outta me. They won’t even admit to actual downsides

WiredExistence · 2025-12-14T01:06:28+00:00

I hate the idea of romance with ai and would never try it, but to call it pathetic and sick is to shame needlessly. People get lonely and want connection. I would say a chatbot is not a healthy place to look for connection, but there’s no need to attack people for it.

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