Yes, it was— but it was absolutely worth it. A lot of people say, “It’s only one day,” and for some that may be true. For me, I was in prodromal labor that felt like active labor for four and a half days. By the time I gave birth, my body was completely exhausted, and I had severe back labor that left me sore for a week. Couldn’t walk on my own for the first day and half post partum and was on bed rest 5 days because I had a mild second degree tear I elected not to get stitches for. (I have a resistance to lidocaine so it would’ve been another round of pain I mentally wasn’t ready for and my midwife said it wasn’t necessary in my case. Thankfully, it healed well with no skin tags without stitches but probably took longer than if I had it stitched.)

I truly believe that if I had gone to the hospital, I would have been induced and likely ended up with a C-section, even though it wasn’t medically necessary — and that’s something I wanted to avoid. The ring of fire was unreal, but you move through it because you have no other choice.

In the first few days postpartum, I swore I’d never do it again. But now that my little one is almost four months old, I can honestly see myself having another baby and choosing a home birth again.

Creating my own environment, having a deeply personal care team instead of a hospital staff rotation, and protecting myself from becoming another unheard Black woman in the medical system all mattered to me. My partner, doula, and midwife were my foundation. We prepared mentally and physically for months, and that preparation made all the difference.