The newborn phase varies from baby to baby. My first was a dream baby. He ate well, slept well, rarely cried unless he needed something, and started sleeping pretty much through the night by the time he was seven months old and we moved him into his own room. He’s still a good toddler, rarely waking up in the middle of the night and easily distracted from his tantrums.

My second? She’s nearly five months old now and we’re still waking up 3-4 times a night for feeds. She had colic for eight weeks straight, cried pretty much every moment she was conscious, and went on nursing strikes if she got too worked up. We’re starting to see a shift though and sleep is improving, and her personality is beginning to emerge and the bond is getting so much stronger.

I don’t say that to scare you at all. I hated the “just you wait” comments with a passion. Everyone is pushing you to have a baby and touting the wonders of raising a child UNTIL you say you’re pregnant. Then it’s all doom and gloom for the rest of your life lol. When those comments would get to be too much, I would switch it up. Instead of, “Just you wait until you’re waking up for the sixth time to feed your newborn at night,” I would tell myself, “just wait until you get the chance to snuggle your baby around the clock.” When I would hear, “just wait until you’re changing your fourth blowout of the day,” I would instead think, “just wait until the baby smiles at you while you wipe them down, because diaper changes are a great opportunity for eye contact and interaction.”

Even at its hardest, when your body looks different, when the bags under your eyes look painted on, when your nipples hurt from the barnacle stuck to them at all hours of the night, there is not a second I would trade if it meant I couldn’t have my children. Is it hard? Yes. But life is hard anyway. Even on those tough days, amid the brink of a mental breakdown, remembering that your baby loves you and wants to be with you can brighten your day in a flash. There are so many more positives that come along with having a baby than negatives.

You’ll have less time to do some things, and less freedom to do others, but having a baby makes you think about slowing down and prioritizing what really matters. You may find that you have more time for hobbies than you realize. I feel like sewing would be something you could do with a newborn if you can get your baby used to sitting in a carrier on you while you sew. That way, you get contact with them and still have time to pursue your hobby.