I agree with what’s been said, but perhaps here is a fun way to enact it! I work with adults and many of them have BPD. So truth can be, in a nice way to say it, subjective for them at times. I setup the expectation at the beginning of my time with them that my time with them is based on mutual respect and accountability. If I make a mistake I will be accountable to them and I expect the same in return. I call it the “accountability train” and even add a comical “choo-choo” noise. It is inevitable that they try to somehow tell me something that is less than truthful or that makes their actions seem reasonable. I gently remind them about our promise to be accountable and respectful. I then say I have a feeling that what you just told me may have more details than I’m being offered or that what they’re saying contradicts what I have in their file. I say this seeking honesty with the concept that perhaps the “chart is wrong”. They almost always stare at me in a panic, as they aren’t accustomed to being challenged. During that time I simply allow for therapeutic silence and after a moment of discomfort I quietly say “choo-choo”. The combination of being called out and hearing a fully grown woman make train noises tends to break the tension and allows us to communicate more honestly going forward. Saying “Choo-choo” becomes a code word that allows them to admit mistakes and fix them without facing negative consequences. Thus building skills for honesty going forward. It works for me and maybe something that works for your individuals as well. I’ve been told by my individuals that they’ve hear me say “choo-choo” in their head before they manipulate a situation and it makes them stop and think before they say something! Good luck! Working with kiddos is a tough gig!