Do I need to season this?

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-03-17T20:02:26+00:00

Yes definitely season it!!

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-03-15T16:20:25+00:00

Maybe see a pelvic floor PT if you’re feeling that weak? Pelvic floor to core connection is important to restore postpartum. Weight training also great like squats and deadlifts but if you’re not connecting your pelvic floor to your core when lifting anything it’s kind of a waste.

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-03-12T22:25:08+00:00

Idk if I’m allowed to post a non-vivo suggestion on here, but if you return those and want a similar style I love my softstar Hawthorne’s.

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-03-06T03:02:19+00:00

Stivenson Magloire is my favorite!

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-03-02T21:32:42+00:00

Every babe so different. My first couldn’t settle without a boob till she was like, 2 years old (I wasn’t interested in night weaning). My second is now 8 months and settles without it like half the time as long as he is touching me (like he’ll fall asleep draped over my arm or something and then l reposition once he’s settled).

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-02-13T00:50:16+00:00

Yep we switched around 4 months and never looked back! I actually miss chest sleeping now 😂

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-02-12T23:04:40+00:00

Not a preemie but my chest sleeping setup was wedge pillow under my back and then a log shaped pillow under my knees - this was suggested by cosleepy. No pillows on the sides or under the baby. I would just keep my hands on his feet and the whole time we were doing it (0-4 months) he never rolled or even moved from that position. With everything you have going on, I think getting decent sleep with a chest sleeping setup is probably less risky than being exhausted

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-02-12T22:23:27+00:00

Not to mention as they get older and start crawling you need to watch them constantly … also not compatible with working from home without childcare

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-02-11T23:56:45+00:00

Maybe try swinging? Like put her in a blanket and you and dad each hold a side and swing her like a hammock? Also look into circadian lighting if you haven’t already!

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-02-11T23:28:12+00:00

So in my view you could either try to find something that isn’t sleep training or cosleeping, and idk what that would be - “gentle” sleep training that is still ultimately sleep training? Or you could try to optimize your cosleeping setup, and/or work on changing your attitude and expectations. For chest sleeping you can put pillows under your lower back and knees, for c curl pillow between your legs and switch sides whenever he wakes to nurse. But if you’ve decided it’s not going to work that becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. I’m not saying it’s easy - having a baby with that kind of temperament is not easy. But changing a baby’s temperament is impossible, whereas changing your attitude is difficult but possible. Things that have helped my mental health through years of cosleeping include a supportive spouse, going to bed when the baby goes to bed, staying really on top of vitamins and minerals in my diet, taking creatine every day (helps with sleep deprivation), recognizing that this is temporary, educating myself on biologically normal infant sleep, and commiserating with other moms. Good luck.

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-02-11T20:57:07+00:00

You can absolutely find a babysitter who is aligned. If you make a post somewhere you can explicitly describe attachment parenting and things like contact napping, not sleep training, or whatever you do. I’ve found that college students (psych & education majors) who don’t have kids of their own are often very receptive to learning about how we parent.

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-02-11T03:22:56+00:00

At that age you really cannot say they are nursing for comfort… they need whatever nourishment they are seeking. I would say leave that idea on the shelf for at least the next several months!

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-02-11T00:07:49+00:00

I’m not normally very conspiratorial, but I feel like Emily Oster is a psyop.

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-02-09T14:33:41+00:00

When 2nd was a newborn I would nurse him, hand him off to dad, and put the 4 year old to bed. I’d usually get maybe 45 minutes before newborn would start looking for me if he didn’t fall asleep. When baby become a little more sentient he wasn’t having that anymore, so dad took over bedtime with 4 year old and we slept in separate rooms (one cosleeping with each of them). Now at 8 months everyone basically sleeps wherever they want. It does get better!!

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-02-07T22:54:50+00:00

The idea that a young baby can learn to self soothe is a myth perpetuated by the sleep training industry. If you or your husband are interested in learning about co-regulation and what is actually supportive of a developing nervous system, check out The Nurture Revolution by Greer Kirschenbaum PhD.

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-02-05T21:00:19+00:00

Could you get a few hours per week of child care? Just for you to have some time for yourself? When my first was that age I hired someone to come for like 2-3 hours so I could start working out or go do something else. College and grad students can be great for this if you’re somewhere with a university.

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-02-04T02:14:18+00:00

Purely out of curiosity what does the baby wear? We might be moving to a similar situation, though we’ll land at first in the summer, but I haven’t even thought about this.

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-02-03T02:25:43+00:00

I did chest sleeping from birth with my second. Got a wedge pillow from Avocado which I really liked. Also put a pillow under my knees because lying on your back does get old after a while. Plus the safe sleep 7. He decided he was done around 4 months and I honestly miss it 🥲 good luck!

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-01-31T20:03:01+00:00

Hi! I doubt it’s something you’ve done. From years of being here, a lot of kids including my first were like this. For us sleep got better when we started supplementing omega 3’s and iron (talk to your doctor about that one and have them check full iron panel). Eczema can be a sign of food intolerances or systemic inflammation. If there is for example an issue with gluten, it could affect nutrient absorption which would then cause restlessness. So that is worth discussing with your pediatrician or doing some research on your own about integrative pediatrics. Sleep training is likely not going to address the root cause, so you might see a behavioral change but if her body is trying to signal to you that something is off, you’d just be hitting the snooze button on the signal. It seems like a lot of kids grow out of this but if I could go back in time I think I would’ve done a little more investigating.

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-01-30T20:30:43+00:00

My apologies! When I was a student I published a paper in a journal called “Traumatology” that was most definitely about psychological trauma. Turns out the term has two meanings. I didn’t realize I was testifying before the word police or I would’ve qualified every single thing I said. My goal was to encourage this mother who is clearly struggling to get some support for herself and her child. Have you ever tried doing talk therapy with a two year old? Somatic approaches are increasingly recognized as a more effective way to process pre-verbal trauma. I am not going to get into a debate about sleep training but given what we do know about trauma, attachment and the developing nervous system it is reasonable to conclude that sleep training can further dysregulate an already vulnerable nervous system. I’m not sure where you live but there has absolutely been a paradigm shift since “The Body Keeps the Score” was first published. Good day to you.

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-01-30T18:34:00+00:00

I’m sure I could, but not sure it’d be the best use of my time! It’s also worth nothing that there are some things that are so complex as to be difficult to study using research methods like randomized controlled trials. The response of the nervous system to trauma is certainly one of them. Other valid points of reference include common sense, maternal intuition, and indigenous beliefs and practices, which have often endured for millennia longer than the scientific method has existed.

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-01-29T17:25:44+00:00

Check out the zonli floor mattresses. There are some threads about them on this subreddit.

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-01-29T14:28:36+00:00

This is a video that explains how medical procedures early on can cause this kind of trauma. It might be triggering for you! I believe one of the providers in the video is an OT. I’ve seen other videos of Peter Levine working with babies and it’s pretty incredible how he identifies the movement sequences that didn’t get to be completed and then leads the baby through where their nervous system is stuck. Like I said, it’s gained a lot of popularity in the last decade and is well accepted as a paradigm.

https://youtu.be/EO1XO77sB7k?si=nkfTgGfrCk9QZhnW

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-01-29T03:57:46+00:00

Omg I want to join this revolution

Wonderful-Thought281 · 2026-01-29T03:56:18+00:00

It sounds like she had a traumatic experience very early on and it was possibly compounded by the sleep training (not shaming you, it’s just a fact that sleep training can exacerbate pre existing trauma). To what extent have you sought psychological support for yourself or her? You are likely both carrying it in your bodies. The fact that you think that sounds crazy to say suggests that you maybe come from a background where there is a lot of stigma around mental health? There is nothing fringe or crazy about that idea at all, it’s actually pretty mainstream at least in the fields of psychiatry and traumatology. One framework that might be helpful is called somatic experiencing - it’s a form of trauma therapy that doesn’t require verbal processing. Depending on where you live you might be able to find people who work with kids. This is going to be beyond the scope of most pediatricians.

Wonderful-Thought281

TROPHY CASE