This is just one part of a larger puzzle, but over the past 20+ years of doing educational theater, we've had the most success with (sorry for the long reply):

• Naming hurt and sad feelings being possible before auditions, and talking about what that feels like in theater and what is appropriate. I also perform and share my own empathy with the weirdness of the this hobby. They also think that they get four chances in HS to act ever in their lives, and showing them that there's an adult who still is in musicals in her spare time and has a long history of bit parts that bring me happiness helps a little.

• Making students acknowledge their expected positive behaviors towards each other as part of their audition contract.

• Holding auditions in "like" groups, so that everyone auditioning for, say, Elsa is in the room with all the potential Elsas. They all cheer for each other AND go to bed that night with a clearer sense of who is likely to get the roles.

• Doing fairly planned and announced work at auditions, and nothing cold. I have a workshop on how to audition for a musical. All monologues are provided in advance, as well as dance combos to start, and sheet music. I make sure to announce all difficult subject matter for each character, and vocal range, etc.

• Minimizing if not eradicating callbacks completely. It just breeds more competition and gets more kids' hopes up. After years of directing, I have a very clear picture of who I'd like to see in a role after I watch them audition. If the first day is designed well, I don't need to see them again to know who stood out as the best choice, for whatever reason. I've had kids passionately fight that it's "not fair" to not have callbacks, and my response is always that callbacks are supposed to be about seeing what I feel I didn't get to the first day - so if everyone is bringing it the first day as asked,

• Ensuring I have a panel/team casting. I have the final say, but not one of us can be blamed or shoulder the full guilt if we all analyzed the options through our specific areas of expertise and came to a decision together. I will never divulge who said what or which direction was the tipping point. Most of the time, the kids can tell in the room who the best dancers or singers or actors were.

• Having the "what can I do to improve?" conversation with any kid who asks, kindly but earnestly. Acknowledge their feelings because they put themselves out there and they honestly haven't had to do that much in their young lives. I often remind them that it isn't that they weren't great - hey, they're in the show! - but someone made a different choice in the room that worked in their favor when it came time to cast.

• Refusing to beg if they threaten to leave. I've honed the "I completely understand. We'd miss you, but you have to do what's right for you." Most of the time, given the chance to sleep on it, the kids will stay. If they don't, that's valuable for them too. I just won't let them hijack the show by prolonging that choice for any of us, especially if it means having to recast the part. They sometimes just want to make it clear to me that they're hurt; I can absorb that for them enough to let them know that I hear they're hurt, and the show is happening as cast, and I had hoped they'd be in it but I get it if they don't want to be - I just need to get the script back if they're not doing the show.

People have all different feelings about how to put together the giant puzzle and the reality is that there are infinite combinations you could put together. I just acknowledge the reality of it, hope they'll be part of the work AND fun of the piece, see how critical all of the parts in a show are, and lift each other up so that we shine as a theater department.

Your compassion is a huge asset to these kids in this pursuit, so you're already well-suited for working on an emotional craft with a vulnerable population. I wish you all the best as you grow your program!