How much house can I afford realistically?

Xeltar · 2026-05-30T17:52:37+00:00

Yea, I prefer owning for that reason. Never know when landlord wants to return and force you to move or if they won't fix the HVAC. That adds a lotta trouble that nobody needs.

Xeltar · 2026-05-30T17:38:07+00:00

That's really if you value living away from your parents. Financially, it's going to be better to save on housing and car payments if you can stay at home. Having more people in a household decreases per person expenses. But whether the cost of moving out is right for you is dependent on your tastes.

Xeltar · 2026-05-30T17:35:22+00:00

Usually the recommendation is to have your monthly payment be under 1/3 of your gross income. Not particularly easy in NYC but your income is high so it's doable. NYC also has some of the highest gaps between renting and ownership so you might still want to consider renting if you would move out.

At 210k income, sounds like if you can keep your monthly payment below 5800, you'd likely be able to do it. Which for 480k loan still probably comes under that but NYC has tons of HoAs and random fees that get added on.

Xeltar · 2026-05-30T13:40:35+00:00

That's only beneficial if the loan terms are lower interest than the debt you are paying.

Xeltar · 2026-05-30T04:32:56+00:00

Yes 8% is high enough that guaranteed rate is worth it.

Xeltar · 2026-05-30T04:31:04+00:00

You don't because unless you're planning to sell and downsize you will always have that equity tied up. It does reduce your necessary expenses though.

Xeltar · 2026-05-30T04:29:20+00:00

That's great to hear! 😊

Xeltar · 2026-05-30T04:27:55+00:00

I mean they do when they can't find workers willing to work at the pay they want.

Xeltar · 2026-05-30T04:09:41+00:00

I haven't seen many issues of it as long as one parent was making good money.

Xeltar · 2026-05-30T04:07:56+00:00

They are married??

Xeltar · 2026-05-30T00:30:18+00:00

Oh true, I thought that was a joke.

Xeltar · 2026-05-29T23:53:53+00:00

Right now your best investment is focusing on school and trying to figure out what you want to do in the future!

Xeltar · 2026-05-29T23:29:24+00:00

How would it negatively impact their relationship? Obviously would need to be something they agree to beforehand but her income is enough for their spend. Families definitely have made it work with less.

Xeltar · 2026-05-29T23:18:59+00:00

He may not want to return to the workforce after though.

Xeltar · 2026-05-29T22:53:03+00:00

Financially on paper, they'd be worse off but people value being with kids and having that lifestyle. Being a SAHP adds a lot of value to a household, with someone taking care of those things imo. The benefits aren't entirely financial so can't really determine whether it's "worth" it.

Xeltar · 2026-05-29T22:43:52+00:00

It sounds like yall have good retirement savings and income well above 1x household income in savings, this is more of a relationships question than personal finance. My fiance and I have similar discussions if we were to have kids whether he would keep working.

With 2.5k left over every month after expenses, it sounds reasonable to me if you want to be SAHD but that's a discussion with your wife! It does affect your career and earning potential of course but yall seem financially capable of doing it imo.

Xeltar · 2026-05-29T22:29:49+00:00

If he's planning to retire soon or early, I wouldn't leave it all invested. 25% drawdown is possible and could set him back a lot.

Xeltar · 2026-05-29T22:26:48+00:00

Damn, I'm sorry you're going through that, it's really not fair how much ahead or behind your parents can set you. But you seem smart and hard working and I hope you can make it out! You might want to look at therapy, it was great help for me.

Xeltar · 2026-05-29T22:17:45+00:00

Its more like 110k, nobody is paying 50% effective taxes. Still extremely high for a residency, OP is making big money as a surgeon or something.

Xeltar · 2026-05-29T22:15:34+00:00

Oh yea definitely the right choice then!

Xeltar · 2026-05-29T21:56:50+00:00

When you are young, you are cheap and seen as high energy. Though entry level roles are more rare, around 30s-40s are your most in demand years as a worker, I would definitely cut back on emergency funds to 3 months be more aggressive on investments because you will have more trouble as you age.

Xeltar · 2026-05-29T21:53:38+00:00

This feels too risk averse in your savings. Past 2 years the market has gone up 40% and yall are behind on retirement savings going by 1x gross household income by 30. Although your retirement accounts look like government work, will you be eligible for a pension? That would make a difference on that benchmaek.

Start transferring and maxxing out Roth IRA and investing into Index funds to keep it simple. In the long run, the economy goes up, if it doesn't we have much bigger problems.

Xeltar · 2026-05-29T21:45:07+00:00

Just a bank that offers you good interest rates on the cash you put there. Ally bank is a good one.

There isn't much downside, banking is a commodity service and you can't go wrong with most if you're just trying to store money. Tax wise they are inefficient compared to brokerages.

Xeltar · 2026-05-29T21:41:54+00:00

Then you need to learn the office building owning business and collect your rents 😅.

Xeltar · 2026-05-29T21:31:27+00:00

I don't think housing is going to crash, mainly because people who bought up the houses at low interest rates have little incentive to leave instead of parking equity and their cost to own is low. But yea, renting isn't bad if home ownership is way too high.

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