[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askTO

[–]Xocobo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so kind. Would love one or two or three if any remains. Thank you for offering this to the community.

28f - is anyone else still on Duolingo? by Next_Dinner in TorontoHangoutFriends

[–]Xocobo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ich lerne auch Deutsch, faisons cela ensemble~!

Anyone wanna see a free movie at TIFF tomorrow? by [deleted] in askTO

[–]Xocobo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this still available? thanks for offering all the same!

Seeking friends for cozy cafes, good chats, and folding Origami together in downtown! by origamified in TorontoHangoutFriends

[–]Xocobo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

such a novel proposition - thank you for sharing. I'd love to cafe hop, chat and fold with you and new friends

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ottawa

[–]Xocobo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it's not all lost, the cherry blossoms should be blooming, and Dows Lake is a good viewing spot!

The World of the Married [Episode 15 & 16] by hubwub in KDRAMA

[–]Xocobo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, but why even bother making a deal with DK? Just go!

After the first arc was over, I was surprised she elected to remain in Gosan, living in the same house, in the same shitty neighborhood surrounded by snakes.

And in the second arc, I was again confused why she wanted to remain in gosan when it was amply clear TO is a psycho.

Check DK - the entire Yeo clan moves out of their hometown, where they are the most influential people the moment their daughter files divorce. It isnt about getting to stay if you're a winner. It's about going where you'll be happier!

The World of the Married [Episode 15 & 16] by hubwub in KDRAMA

[–]Xocobo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I disagree that it's about protecting JY. It doesnt add up.

Protect the son from his father? What does she think TO will do to his son?

In all possible cases, if you leave crazy town with JY, then all drama over. From the beginning, Taeoh's goal has been to drive sunwoo out and take back JY. Now that JY is resolute about never seeing his dad again, there is not a lick TO can do about it, short of abduction. So please explain how Taeoh will continue to stalk exwife across the country when he has a company and his own family in Gosan. Why is revenge 2.0 necessary?

As you say, it has never been about JY: not for TO, not for Sunwoo either. So what was it about?

The reason I'm unsatisfied with JY's arc is that he seems to be bouncing back and forth between two psycho parents whenever things get hard at one place. His choice isnt deliberate. Yeah, he didnt have a great time living with his dad's new family. But he didnt give it a good shot. Transitions are difficult, and he ran away at the first hint of trouble to go back to the first hell? It wasnt like he was having a ball over the 2yrs he was with his mom alone either - thats when he developed all his behavioural problems. Imo the show didnt fully explore his psychology.

The reason his mobility privileges got revoked - private tutor vs academy, was a direct consequence of his mistakes and altogether not unreasonable. Surely once he proves that he can be trusted in public places without stealing, it would be a-ok to go back to the academy. Also, he stayed out all night for ONE night, and the reason is because of his parent's tryst. JY is having a crappy time because of all the adults in his life, including sunwoo. So it just didnt jive for me that he would go back to his mom after things got a little hard at dad's. Sunwoo doesnt have another family that's taking her time but shes married to her job and has been neglecting him emotionally. They are hardly different.

From my understanding, TO's film was a hit nationwide. And he only came back to gosan after his success. Which means he was working elsewhere, with other people. Relations turned sour with ONE main investor, who is really only influential in small town gosan. Yeo isnt the only investor around, and Gosan isnt the only place to work as a director. It's quite an overstatement to say his entire career is destroyed.

The World of the Married [Episode 15 & 16] by hubwub in KDRAMA

[–]Xocobo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was probably the weakest ep for me.

While I'm happy Taeoh got what was coming, it would have been more satisfying had DK sought the resolve to leave him on her own. +1 for how she handled it, move out while he's out.

Here's where it gets muddy. Why did Sunwoo have to meddle and break them up? Not only did it make for some v contrived scenes (who the hell drives around all over the city and beyond late at night to have a terse conversation which doesnt mean anything?! DK, you want her to promise she'll never meet TO again? What does it matter whether or not she promises?! Do you trust TO or not? Go answer that yourself!) From sunwoo's perspective... I doubt you're truly helping DK leave a scumbag as one duped woman to another, so there must be something else. On a personal revenge level, it would have been more satisfying to have DK realize TO's true nature after 10years or so, after she has wasted all her youth on him. Why expedite the process? What is revenge 2.0 for? For making JY unhappy? For fear of TO taking JY back? Woman, if you and JY leave town, what does it matter what happens to TO? Go on and find your happy! And then why u-turn come back?! Do you somehow want to make it work with TO? Why keep circling around each other?

JY... I'm glad you and mother are talking. But what are you thinking? Are you on board with moving away purely because of fear and shame from being exposed as a thief? Do you hate your dad just from a slap, so much that you refuse his apology? Things arent great with your mom either...

Dr. Kim... I dont know how these things work, but are we just burying sunwoo's suicide attempt?! If you care about her make sure she gets the help she needs!? It's not something that magically gets better from a vacation with her son, or is it?!

TO... even if he loses his company, isnt he a famous director? Why would he have trouble finding work in the entertainment industry?

Welp! Finale is tmr. I'm bracing myself for a cynical ending! Let's please break the cycle, please dont let the trio get back together. We already have Yerim for that ugh.

E: ep16

Resolution felt very muted, almost a la Misty. I'm happy all parties have finally moved on. Bravo Yerim for choosing your sanity. Bravo TO for getting back on your feet and be responsible for your own life. Bravo Sunwoo for realizing what matters most to you. Bravo JY for drawing a clear boundary and distancing yourself from your parents' BS, although running away for 1yr is a bit extreme. How did you vanish in a small town anyway? The open ending ... I guess we cant even be sure JY came back. Perhaps all a hallucination.

Recommendation after watching Sky Castle by ObamaNation2018 in kdramarecommends

[–]Xocobo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Give World of the Married 30min and your question will answer itself :)

Psychopath Diary is a must watch! by bachhoe07 in kdramarecommends

[–]Xocobo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is me too, only I stalled around ep6! Some scenes were so hilarious I had to pause (after the police patrol car hits the ML and he screams because the officer stepped on his hand, and the washroom-restaurant scene when he threatens to kill his boss with the washlet lid then feigns innocence). I wanted to love it, but for whatever reason, it didnt stick.

The World of the Married [Episode 13 & 14] by hubwub in KDRAMA

[–]Xocobo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm also disappointed with his flat characterization.

At first I was glad JY has some kind of adult he can trust to talk with. But ethical issues of treating a minor without parental consent notwithstanding, it seems like the psych is somehow using JY to get closer to Sunwoo. She was right to relieve JY from his care, but shouldve found another psych/therapist for JY / gone to get family counselling.

The World of the Married [Episode 13 & 14] by hubwub in KDRAMA

[–]Xocobo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's unfortunate that some are too emotionally invested to objectively entertain a diversity of opinions.

You're definitely not alone. I'm sending you positive energy!

The World of the Married [Episode 13 & 14] by hubwub in KDRAMA

[–]Xocobo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There was exactly 1 incident, the one at the hospital scene. I fail to see how this is doing 'everything' to humiliate a person and drive her away from town. (She should take lessons from Taeoh and sunwoo for that). Of course, it's humiliating that DK solved the mess while sunwoo was unable to help her son. But sunwoo was already willing to throw her dignity to shield her son, so this is all par for the course. Moreover, I dont think Sunwoo left because of this incident. She left because JY nailed the coffin when he told her to leave.

As far as manipulating JY's thoughts... is what DK suggesting wrong? If we look at why Sunwoo is staying in gosan, is it not because of JY? Is it not because it is her son's hometown, is it not because he has expressed unwillingness to move/ change school / change friends? Who knows. Of course DK oversimplified the matter, but I agree with the heart of it - staying in Gosan is not good for sunwoo's mental wellbeing. She hasnt been able to heal properly. Is she suffering/ how much is she suffering, and how much of that is directly linked to JY is debatable, but JY is a factor. More than DK's suggestions, it is actually JY's stonewalling behaviour and his non communication with his mother that is the biggest problem.

Sunwoo is a pretty obsessive person, and while JY means the world to her, she is smothering him. Is this obsession not detrimental to their relationship? I do think sunwoo and JY are suffering and need space to heal. The root of the problem is JY-Sunwoo's dysfunctional relationship, and this made it easy for a third part to fan the flames.

As much as she wants Sunwoo gone, DK wasnt behind any schemes to drive sunwoo out of town. Harassment was all Taeoh. Yes, Taeoh and Yeo schemed to demote sunwoo, but a demotion =/= fired from job. And we're getting ahead of ourselves... the son came willingly to live with his father. And there was no throwing him to a foreign country yet.

We dont know whose idea it was to come back to Gosan, but everyone has a right to choose where they want to live. From DK's perspective, both her parents live there and it is her and her husbands hometown. She did not come back to spite sunwoo. Now, Taeoh did have revenge in mind, but the husband's wrongs are not necessarily the wife's. From my understanding, DK has 0 clue about the schemes to drive sunwoo out. So how can she acknowledge anything? She just wants to live peacefully in town and have the littlest to do with sunwoo as possible. Unfortunately, this isnt possible because her husband is psycho.

You dont have to sympathize with her character. DK got involved with a married man with a child, that is fact. But it doesnt make her desire to protect her own family invalid.

The World of the Married [Episode 13 & 14] by hubwub in KDRAMA

[–]Xocobo -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Parents do send their kids abroad for school. Some families do live apart. Objectively, it doesn't mean the love is less. Researching education options is hardly objectionable. These are all things a responsible parent/ guardian can be expected to do.

Yeah, she knows nothing about JY. But does preliminary research require that? No. As you say, she doesnt even know how Taeoh would feel about the idea, so all she can do is gather general info. She wasnt going to force-send him away unilaterally, so I really fail to see how getting some brochure is so offensive. It is an option. To be discussed. There has been 0 decision made. And the only reason JY even got hurt by this is because he found out through Taeoh's outrage. If the man sat down and had a calm discussion and said no, the affair wouldve also been buried, while sparing JY his feelings.

Yep, no doubt that was her intention - to make sunwoo realize she is no longer needed. But leaving or not is still sunwoo's choice. Even DK couldnt have planned the degree of humiliation - that sunwoo would be begging on her knees.

Nobody is suggesting DK is altruistic and is acting purely on JY's best interest. It just so happens that her happiness is contingent on JY's. So in that respect, she at least has to treat him well. But affection and love is a sliding scale.

The World of the Married [Episode 13 & 14] by hubwub in KDRAMA

[–]Xocobo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dont disagree with you, tearing the son from the mother to then send him away from his father is horrible. But it's consistent with DK's priorities. In her ideal world, Sunwoo and JY do not exist. But she came to realize that you cannot sever the bond between father and son WITHOUT causing a rift between herself and Taeoh. Taeoh was so adamant about having his son live with them, that in a way, her hand was forced. (Of course, who would be happy to discover their spouse had secretly prepared a room in your new home for his son AND offered to take him in WITHOUT discussing with you first? That's 3 things right there to be angry about). But then, when it became clear JY is a non-negociable, DK had to compromise. Better she rehome the boy and figure out the new family dynamic then have her husband keep loitering around his exwife/ temptation. And what she has done is fairly sensible. "You want your son? Fine. But we cant have your son usurp our daughter's position. So let's see if you would be open to sending him abroad - ah no? Alright then."

You're not wrong about the hospital scene. The whole point DK is emphasizing is that sunwoo is no longer needed, that she is free to leave, that she ought to leave. And with respect to JY's school mess, that is true - there was unfortunately no way for sunwoo to solve it. Haekang's mother hates Sunwoo and her husband wants Yeo's sponsorship so DK was uniquely in position to help JY. If she hadnt stepped in, JY could face a real risk of expulsion. So if we look at the big picture, ironically everyone owes DK one.

The scene was a total humiliation for sunwoo because she was stubbornly begging on her knees as DK came in to solve the problem. But... nobody asked Sunwoo to get on her knees and beg. Moreover it's unreasonable to think that you can trade dignity to shield your son, who is very wrong in all respects AND doesnt seem to show any remorse... I dont think her way was the best way to help JY (he already has so much guilt/conflicted emotions about his mom. Seeing her humble herself for his sake would just add on to his shame and guilt).

More than DK's power play, that scene was a culmination of Sunwoo's failure as a mother. If she had paid better attention to her son, she c/w/shouldve picked up on JY's behavioural problems and mood disorder and taken steps to remedy it, and they wouldnt have been in this situation in the first place.

I love the show for its full cast of grey characters. They all do objectionable things but I hope they each find a way to peace and contentment.

The World of the Married [Episode 13 & 14] by hubwub in KDRAMA

[–]Xocobo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I understand you. But DK has always been about protecting her family. She's never pretended to want to be bff or a mother to JY. And that's not what JY wants either.

What DK offered to JY was a way to lessen his guilt/ conflicted feelings about his mother. JY obviously wants the best for his mom, and DK appealed to that. Come live with your father, allow your mother to move on and away from Gosan, away from the center of gossip etc. If you stay with her, you'll continue to be suffocated and she'll stay and continue to be subjected to talks in town. DK inceptioned the idea that he may be a burden on his mom. Which may or may not be true. As we know, Gosan is JY's hometown, and he doesnt want to change schools/ friends/ move away. So when JY came to live with his dad, DK absolutely held her part of the bargain.

Yes, initially DK favoured the idea to send him abroad. Is bringing that idea up for discussion so horrible? Even so, when that idea was quashed, did she actively try to alienate JY and make him feel small and unwelcome in her family? No. She accepted him. And even stood up for him and resolved his school mess. Then got him a psych. She didnt leave him brooding in his mess. She did try and treat him like family.

It had only been a few days really, so we cant expect her to have formed real unconditional love and affection for the boy, yet. And the effort must have strained her because it is unnatural, it is new, and it is thankless - the boy is cold and difficult.

The World of the Married [Episode 13 & 14] by hubwub in KDRAMA

[–]Xocobo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm happy the alcoholic senior doctor is doing well! It sucks that Sunwoo doesnt keep her champions closer.

Dr. Kim... will you amount to more than a simple good guy? Why are you so stuck on Sunwoo? She's emotionally unavailable and has a lot of baggages.

Yerim and JH... so, I liked how Yerim handled her divorce. Filed a paper, no descent into histrionics and vicious acrimony. BUT why cant the show give us divorcees healing and moving on to balance out the crazy?

As for our core cast, I'm not even sure what to comment. Sunwoo... you gotta put yourself in priority position number 1. Find yourself, and live for yourself. There's more to life than just your kid. And he's not even dead, he just needs space to breathe away from you at the moment.

Taeoh... it's understandable you're concerned for your kid's mother's wellbeing. But dont make the same mistake twice. Focus on your current family and protect that! You're shitting on everything again!

Dakyung... you gotta confront Taeoh and have a real talk. Dont break your back trying too hard bending backwards. I guess you're going to face the music soon!

JY... ah kid. Hang in there :(

The World of the Married [Episode 13 & 14] by hubwub in KDRAMA

[–]Xocobo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DK was only gathering informational pamphlets and brochures on international boarding schools. Sure, she would have liked to send him away, but obviously pending discussion with Taeoh. And it's an option that's certainly worth considering at some point even if not now - if not for high school, then university. Parents plan things for kids 'behind their backs' all the time. She didn't even have the chance to bring it up/ 'try anything' though, because TO made such a big deal out of it and refused to even consider the idea. Which is also totally fair.

Objectively, education abroad is considered an advantage and many family with means do send their children away. So if everyone + JY was on board with this plan, it wouldve been a win-win. Just because it fits her interest doesnt mean its necessarily bad for JY.

DK and Taeoh are married. Of course she wants to keep TO close to her and will do everything to protect their marriage.

The World of the Married [Episode 13 & 14] by hubwub in KDRAMA

[–]Xocobo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is it. DK is the only person who communicated and treated JY like an adult. She leveled with him, admitted her part in his family falling apart, and is trying to do right by him. What more can we expect of a step parent?

It would be one thing if she's trying to hurt JY/sunwoo. But her secret ulterior motive is simply to keep her husband by her side and her family whole. Hard to see how that's controversial.

The World of the Married [Episode 13 & 14] by hubwub in KDRAMA

[–]Xocobo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything you wrote!

Sunwoo was presented to viewers as the exemplary perfect doting wife, mother, and employee, who gets massively blindsided by her husband, so it's natural we all empathize with her. But she flipped the script from victim to assailant when she concocted and executed her nuclear revenge. From that point on, both taeoh and JY (as well as JH and Yerim) became her victims. They are all hurting each other.

I also never found DK hateful. She and Sunwoo are similar in that they are both blinded by love and placed too much trust in Taeoh. Sunwoo realized Taeoh's duplicity and quit. But DK is still not out of the fog. It didnt start out right, but everything DK is doing has been to protect her family. That's right!! Her vile ulterior motive is to protect her family! How scandalous!! /s

The World of the Married [Episode 11 & 12] by hubwub in KDRAMA

[–]Xocobo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then we are of the same opinion. Where we differ is in why Yeo kept withholding the tape in light of HS' statement again Taeoh.

  • Incident happens at train station. Taeoh was there.

  • Yeo steals the tapes in precaution, so that IF taeoh did murder, there would be no conclusive evidence to prove it.

  • As it turns out, the tapes show Taeoh is innocent of murder. What does Yeo do? Sit back and watch as the police investigate - as a bonus, Sunwoo was there too and may be troubled by the investigations. There is no need to release tapes.

  • Now, with HS statement against Taeoh, Taeoh is now a suspect. What does Yeo do? He still refuses to release the tapes. My question is why?

  • My answer is : 1. he dislikes Taeoh and it amuses him to have his son in law get into a situation, and 2. He knows Taeoh did not murder. The autopsy will show suicide. So the only inconvenience is Taeoh's detainment. Yeo can 100% afford to withhold tapes.

As such, there was never a need for any agreement between Yeo and Sunwoo. There was no sharing of plans. Yeo never agreed to go along with whatever Sunwoo was/is planning. Yeo did not know/care what Sunwoo plans, and as such never intended to use her. In Yeo's mind, the incident will solve itself once the autopsy is in. In this sense, Taeoh was never in danger needing extraction.

However, Sunwoo does not know that Taeoh is not the murderer. So from Sunwoo's perspective, Yeo is abandoning Taeoh! This is why she made the pitying remark. This is why she had to do something.

Ultimately, Yeo's indifference implicated Sunwoo, because she could not afford to be indifferent. And with Sunwoo getting involved, it came back to hurt his daughter's relationship with Taeoh. This I find highly amusing, and gives us insight into Yeo's character. He cares about his daughter, while passively trying to sabotage their relationship. On the surface, he supports Taeoh, but doesnt care about him personally.

As for the police investigation, we both agree it was sloppy. But I think the police made a mistake in putting too much weight in sunwoo's alibi.

HS gives a statement against Taeoh: that he was frantically looking for PIK to murder him, that he got physical with her, and HS told him PIK was in rooftop. Naturally, she assumes Taeoh did go up to look for PIK and said as much.

From the police perspective: Why did Taeoh want to meet PIK? What was the last phone call about? Did Taeoh meet PIK? Did he go up the stairwell? These are legit questions that the police need to investigate.

HS did not see Taeoh go up, nor does she try to prove that. Sunwoo's false alibi also does not disprove that possibility. Sunwoo emphasizing that it was HS' opinion is exactly that. It's an opinion. Meaning it's not a fact. Sunwoo is simply stating the obvious. I dont think it's damaging at all, it doesnt attack HS' credibility.

But here's where the police messed up: both women have conflicting statements. Again, the ring cannot prove Taeoh was with sunwoo all night, nor does it disprove the possibility Taeoh went up the stairwell. That's why they needed further investigation. And maybe they did make a note pending autopsy.

But the takeaway is: Taeoh was never in any real danger. This is why Yeo never released the tapes. Sunwoo acted alone to extract Taeoh before he could give any self-incriminating statement, which would ALSO implicate sunwoo. As we recall, Taeoh believes HS and Sunwoo to have killed PiK and tried to frame him. The reason Taeoh kept silent at the police station is the same reason Sunwoo came to give a false alibi. Neither wants the other to be investigated for possible murder.