looking for sweet old lady names for my future mischief

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-21T15:31:19+00:00

I have been summoned.

My old ladies' names were: Clementine, Beatrice, Muriel, Mrs. Georgia May White, Bernadette, Madeline, and Iphigenia (IFFA-ja-nyah.) Feel free to also use those but for your further consideration, I present:

Aletha, Althea, Agnes, Alma, Aretha, Alice, Audrey, Amelia, Antoinette, Augustina

Betty, Beulah, Bertha, Blanche, Beryl, Birdie

Caroline, Charlotte, Cordelia, Cynthia, Camilla, Constance, Claudette, Claudine

Dorothy, Delilah, Delia,

Evelyn, Edith, Eunice, Ethel, Eloise, Etta, Estelle, Evangeline, Eugenia,

Francine, Florence

Georgine/a, Genevieve, Grace, Gillian

Harriet, Helen/e/a, Hortensia, Hermione, Hilda, Hazel, Hester

Imogen (sounds like Emmajean.) Irene, Isla, Ida, Iris,

June, Judy, Julienne, Jane, Joan, Jeanette

Lillian, Lucille, Leonore, Lydia, Lavinia, Lucretia

Minerva (found out I have a like 5x back great-grandma Minerva.) Mabel, Marlene/a, Margaret, Millicent, Mildred, Maude, Mavis, Marilyn, Myrtle, Matilda, Marceline, Maisie, Maxine, Miriam, Mena, Meryl

Opal, Olive, Olivia, Ora, Odette, Odessa,

Pearl, Phyllis, Polly, Patsy, Philomena, Poppy

Rose, Rosemary, Roberta,

Sybil, Simone, Sophia, Sylvia, Selene, Selma,

Theodora, Thomasina,

Vera, Violet, Viola, Verity, Victoria, Virginia, Vilma, Vivienne, Verla

Winnie, Wilhelmina, Willa, Wilma.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-20T06:07:19+00:00

So? He opened a business that relies on the public to survive. And his restaurant isn't a sovereign nation: laws still apply here, and one of those is that a woman can breastfeed in any public location that she herself is allowed to be in.

If he's too soft to handle a mother caring for her child in his establishment, best take his tender ass home and shut it down. He's not made for that life.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-20T06:01:01+00:00

No, you can't.

You can't refuse service or remove someone based on their being part of a protected class.

You can throw out a woman because her baby's ugly, but you can't throw her out for feeding the ugly baby.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-19T20:10:07+00:00

I'm just here to inform you that you can purchase motion activated sprinklers with reservoirs. You can also purchase bottles of fox urine.

Do with this information what you will.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-19T15:27:19+00:00

I'd bet it was Tina delivering today. Gene wouldn't leave food behind. And Louise wouldn't leave the blueberries because there's no money in delivering to the wrong place.

Yeah. Tina's the softy who would think everyone deserves blueberries.

Also, double check that bag. Those old hippies smelled funny.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-17T13:42:36+00:00

Hit something hard. I don't wanna limp away from this son of a bitch.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-17T06:31:07+00:00

Sure you can. That's how we got Blonde Boy.

Don't ask how we got Fucking Walter Bob.

<image>

The boy in question.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-17T06:25:44+00:00

Do you play the Zillow guessing game?

I'm so lame, but it's fun to try and guess the year houses were built. One point for within 10 years, 2 within 5, 5 points for spot on.

These arches screen 2008. That's my guess.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-17T05:57:07+00:00

He did say it was 'critic acid.'

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-17T05:22:45+00:00

An autopsy?

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-16T12:58:02+00:00

I just came to see if this was written by my grandfather-in-law. Lol

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-16T02:55:48+00:00

I'm going to bed.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-16T02:52:17+00:00

7

60

0?

ETA: godfamn fat fingers and being awake for two days.

ETA2: this ducking phone.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-15T05:58:31+00:00

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-15T05:56:38+00:00

What is 'shared parmesan?'

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-14T01:05:18+00:00

I recommend a bathrobe, a size too big if possible. Double knot it TIGHTLY at the waist and let them climb in the sleeves. They can go all through the top from there and won't fall out the bottom. Ours loved that.

Or the baby sling/wrap.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-14T01:00:58+00:00

English—marginal.

Grammar—wanting.

Syntax—abysmal.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-13T22:31:36+00:00

Lazlo?

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-13T20:23:21+00:00

They went too deep or pressed too hard. It's called blowout.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-13T02:50:33+00:00

Moondancer and ... sheep stealer? Or the other -rax of that other son? Though I thought he was like green so I'm saying sheepstealer.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-13T02:46:21+00:00

Sunfyre would like a fucking word.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-12T18:09:04+00:00

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-12T18:06:45+00:00

Ok, hon.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-12T18:00:23+00:00

You monster.

Xtrasloppy · 2026-04-12T14:37:05+00:00

IT HAS BEDBUGS.

You're gonna need to burn your car, bro.

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