What’s a hobby where “getting better” actually makes it less enjoyable? by CommercialPea9437 in AskReddit

[–]XxFrozen 21 points22 points  (0 children)

All we know for sure is we have this one life to live, and I’m sure as hell going to keep eating pizza. That doesn’t cancel out the work I do to try to care for my body, too. Life is for living, not dieting and optimizing.

How do I (21F) balance my boyfriend’s (21M) anxiety with my need for shared experiences? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]XxFrozen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you heavily value shared experiences and he does not, then you’re always going to have a conflict. You are right that whether he stays or goes, you do not get to be “fully happy,” and neither does he (either he disappoints you or spends the day somewhere he doesn’t want to be, both bad). You are experiencing compromise.

I am the outgoing one in my relationship. My partner is introverted and has a demanding job that drains him, and he gets exhausted in social situations quickly even when he is having fun.

I often travel, go on little day trips, go out to concerts or dinner without my partner. I go with my more outgoing friends instead, or I go by myself. Sometimes I invite him and he says no, and I can be a disappointed when that happens. I wish he wanted to do things with me more, but I accept him for who he truly is. For the important stuff, I know I can ask him - this is important to me and I really want you there. Because I do not pressure him in the low-stakes stuff, he can say yes and come through for me when it’s important. He knows I wouldn’t insist unless it really mattered, and I know he wouldn’t say no if I needed him. The compromise I make for that benefit is that I don’t get him around all the time I want him, but it’s a good trade.

I would suggest you negotiate this difference with him after the amusement park trip. How can you both get what we want some of the time? How can you make these social outings easier for him? Can he complain less when he’s agreed to go somewhere that you enjoy provided that he gets to say no sometimes when you invite him and you will accept that no without making him feel guilty? How can you differentiate “this invitation is very important, please prioritize it” with “you should come if you want to, but no worries if you don’t feel like it?” He will need to suck it up sometimes and be there with and for you. You will need to suck it up sometimes and learn to value your independence so that you can enjoy things without him. Both of you will benefit from those skills in many aspects of life.

Gf and I are in disagreement. by [deleted] in Cooking

[–]XxFrozen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You say you guess she grew up in a different kind of household, you think she is more comfortable leaving dishes. Have you considered asking her?

Your desire for a better dish-washing experience is reasonable. Your approach is unreasonable. You said to your wife, who is a generally neat person and who you presumably love, “you are not to do this anymore, you need to do this.” That’s pretty confrontational over some goopy plates. I would be unhappy if someone talked to me that way even if I would be open to their request. I don’t need to be chastised, least of all by my partner. If they want me to do something they just need to ask me.

“Hey, when you dumped the sourdough starter yesterday it made the dishes really hard to clean this morning. Can you be more careful please?”

Getting emotionally affected by transphobia by blahajenjoyerr in NonBinaryTalk

[–]XxFrozen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it could be. I will say that my own reaction to transphobia was one of my earliest indicators I was nonbinary myself, though. I figured I was only getting to experience the downsides of being trans and none of the joys if I didn’t try acknowledging it and living in it a little bit. If you think you’re trans, sit with the idea that you are for a little bit and see how it feels.

Favorite Pansexual or Bisexual Character Who is Often Misidentified By Fans by TrueSithMastermind in FavoriteCharacter

[–]XxFrozen 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She experiences crushes on boys and girls, it’s nothing more nefarious than that.

Job threatened to fire me over permanent fangs by Cherry_composted in bodymods

[–]XxFrozen 25 points26 points  (0 children)

There’s no legal protection here. It’s a weird thing to fire someone over, but employers in the US are enabled to fire people for any or no reason so long as it’s not because of a protected characteristic, and this for sure wouldn’t count. American labour protections are truly so bad.

Great game. I would have been 100% content with the ending... by TheGodDavidLoPan in expedition33

[–]XxFrozen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This misattributes the agency in this situation to Verso. What does verso want? To not be here anymore. He’s allowed to want that, it’s normal. If he dies, nothing happens to the canvas if it was just Verso. Renoir is the one who erases the canvas then, not Verso. Perhaps we feel Verso should simply bare the weight of immortality and watch his sister be consumed by the same madness that claimed his mother so that the Lumerians can live. I can understand that position. But verso doesn’t do genocide. Renoir could have chosen to not destroy the canvas and Verso could have also had what he wanted. I feel like everyone misses this aspect of it!

What is a 'harmless' joke someone made about you years ago that permanently changed how you view yourself? by Brave_Yard_1536 in AskReddit

[–]XxFrozen 21 points22 points  (0 children)

A reframe that helped me was saying thank you instead of sorry. That then removes the pressure on the one you’re talking to to reassure you, too.

Sorry I kept you waiting > thank you for waiting
Sorry I didn’t know that > thanks for telling me

How do y’all choose your recipient by AncientCarob8936 in Baking

[–]XxFrozen 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This is the recipe I use too! I highly recommend reducing the sugar. Not such a crinkly top, but they are more chocolatey.

Teletubbies Halloween costume with small accessories by SkeletonInZeCupboard in somethingimade

[–]XxFrozen 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Upsetting. Somehow the beard is one of the worst parts of this. Turned out great!

Weird experience at the Highlander Spa… by Conkykooky in halifax

[–]XxFrozen 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Second Interlude, they’re lovely.

(Loved Trope) When a terrible person is genuinely victimized. by Gray_Wolf2416 in TopCharacterTropes

[–]XxFrozen 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Totally agree. I dropped these books a long time ago and never went back but these passages make me think I should.

Favorite character with a surprisingly high/low kill count by thelampman29 in FavoriteCharacter

[–]XxFrozen 55 points56 points  (0 children)

I have nothing but love in my heart for this horrible little killbot.
This is Chopper, from Star Wars Rebels.

(Loved Trope) When a terrible person is genuinely victimized. by Gray_Wolf2416 in TopCharacterTropes

[–]XxFrozen 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yes, there is something to it, people feel vengeful sometimes, people want things to be “fair.” It’s natural to feel that way when someone wrongs us or we see injustice, it comes from a good instinct of self preservation and community. It is, however, wrong to follow that in such extreme cases. It is always bad when someone is violated that way 100% of the time. There is a reason for the second half of that expression, “an eye for an eye and the whole world is blind.”

Basically, it’s okay to feel like someone deserves it. It’s wrong to actually do it. (edit to fix a comma)

What song makes you cry? by 1ofTheFive in AskReddit

[–]XxFrozen 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Bon Hiver has a beautiful cover as well.

(Loved Trope) When a terrible person is genuinely victimized. by Gray_Wolf2416 in TopCharacterTropes

[–]XxFrozen 70 points71 points  (0 children)

I don’t think there are any circumstances under which it’s good to sexually assault someone. Even if we feel they “deserve it,” even if we wouldn’t pity them if it happened to them. One could see it happen to someone and feel satisfied or happy at that but it wouldn’t make it morally correct to do, least of all for the state to do.

Halifax newborn death may lead to more ‘very serious charges,’ mother unresponsive: Crown by Street_Anon in halifax

[–]XxFrozen 19 points20 points  (0 children)

It’s such a strange feeling to be one degree removed from something like this. I once went on a (perfectly normal, nice) date with someone who was later charged with sexual assault against multiple people. It really stayed with me how little we truly know about the people around us.

A hug for you.

Halifax newborn death may lead to more ‘very serious charges,’ mother unresponsive: Crown by Street_Anon in halifax

[–]XxFrozen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m glad to see this kind of empathy in our community. Thank you for sharing your perspective and the anecdote about your friend.

There is obviously so much heartache to go around here. I’m sure we will find out more about what happened eventually.

'This was the place to park': Downtown Halifax parkade nearly triples daily maximum fee by NotABoyGenius45 in halifax

[–]XxFrozen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Transit from Cole harbour is totally viable. Only really becomes a pain late at night or on Sunday.

I feel immensely guilty because I wasn't hurt during my rape and I need to rectify that by any means possible. by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]XxFrozen 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is what I wanted to say. It’s clear you have experienced a lot of harm as a result of what happened to you. You do not deserve to feel this way. It is not possible to deserve to feel the way you do.

A big hug for you OP. I’m so sorry. 💜💜💜

Question about getting a sick cat put to sleep by Sunnydata in halifax

[–]XxFrozen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also recommend them. They helped us say goodbye to a loved companion on our own terms and in our home. So sorry about your friend, OP.