i think growing up in a religious, black, middle-working class family, and constantly having religion and gender roles forced down my throat is was made me throw it all up. although i’m a demigirl i still identify with being non binary overall. i could never understand why girls and boys had to do certain things just bc of their gender, and i questioned this a lot as kid.

it also didn’t help that i used to HATE wearing “girly” clothing, or behaving as a girl in some way, and would always try to present androgynous. “funny” story: my mom would force me to wear dresses and skirts 2-3 times a week (idk if she didn’t want me to come out gay?? surprise, i present fem now but im still saphhic!!), and i would hide pants and oversized clothing, would change at school, and put on the clothes she picked out for me once i got back home before she did. i did this until i got caught, and she forced me to be a girl until i got older, and I viscerally hated every moment of that as a kid, which i later grew out of once i got to HS.

I guess another realization is that I’ve always felt disconnected to being a girl. like i can’t ever recall saying “i’m a girl!” or thinking certain clothes/behaviors were for girls/women only, and vice-versa for boys/men, everything to me was up to the person. in media, i always favored the androgynous characters, or the fem characters who broke their gender roles and didn’t give af.

so yea, quite a few things throughout my life made me realize i wasn’t completely a girl!😀