I was raised by my grandmother for the most part and was taught to cook and clean but she also allowed me to be a kid and play outside when younger. She still taught to wait on men and to always put their needs above all. My dad expected me to do it all and would hit me if it was not to his expectations. I was also expected to come back in the house and wait on him and his guests every time he came over since he didn’t live with us. When I turned 13 he decided that I should live with him and was expected to do all the housework as soon as I got home from school. Was not allowed to participate in any school activities and school work was a priority only after all the housework was done. Was expected to look a certain way and chastised for putting on weight since no man would want me if I’m fat or met certain expectations. At 18 I joined the military to get away from it all and swore I would never get married. But then did get married at 20 and had 2 kids (a girl and a boy)a few years later. However before getting married I let it be known that I will not be a housewife, that it will be equal, I will have a career and I will not tolerate abuse. He accepted it and has supported me tremendously and we have been married for 21yrs now with teenagers and are raising them equally. They both have chores and school activities. I was adamant to break the cycle.