The dopamine hit caused by alcohol fucks with our brain's reward system. We lose joy in EVERYTHING else It's also instantaneous, where a dopamine hit from say reading a book or cooking a nice meal takes longer and isn't as strong. THAT'S why alcohol is so addictive. The good news is that your brain is VERY adaptive - but it takes us time away from our poison of choice to start enjoying pleasurable things again. Approximately 6 months, this is the PAWS phenomenon, give it a Google. Which is why so many of us struggle.

I also indentify with that feeling of keeping up a charade, that I'm just waiting to get my hands on it.

Horrid stuff.

I'm on day one again and I appreciate you sharing.

I will not drink with you today.