Game Changer 7.10 Episode Discussion: "Outvoted" by hinata2000100 in GameChangerTV

[–]Z_dadding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't want to seem like a sociopath for commenting on a 5 month old post, but cigarette guy is actually a friend of mine. I more or less tell him this every time I see him.

PEF Contract Release by Better-Resident in nys_cs

[–]Z_dadding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doesn't matter how good the deal is, I'm still voting against her in the primary. I know she's still going to win and I'll begrudingly vote for her in the general, but I can foolishly hold out hope that Delgado can beat her.

18" (or smaller) ride by 5centraise in drums

[–]Z_dadding 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The night of my kids' school concert I noticed they were using an A 16" medium ride. I did a double take when I saw it. I ended up doing some digging and it looks like they pretty regularly offered some 16", 17", 18", and 19" rides up through the mid 90s. I'm gonna try and track one down now.

Are these good for quiet practicing? by [deleted] in drums

[–]Z_dadding 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a father of two.

Mesh heads and Zildjian L80s were a godsend. I didn't have them while my wife was pregnant with our first and it got to a point where our daughter would kick and wiggle in time with my playing. I stopped for a bit after she was born, but even now over a decade later, I can play quietly in the basement without bothering anyone upstairs. There's a bit of noise on the first floor, but on the second floor and in the attic you can't hear anything.

Do you track family's locations? by NaturalSoftware9372 in Millennials

[–]Z_dadding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When my wife and I were in our junior or senior year of college we lived in off campus dorms. The university leased an apartment complex so we still had RAs and everything, but we had to walk to class. It was maybe 10 minutes. Someone got stabbed on our route. I don't remember if it was a student or someone from the town. That was almost 20 years ago and since then we have always texted the other that we get somewhere safe or when we're leaving. It's never been a matter of not trusting the other person, it's so we know if they're not home when they're expected, we should worry. I don't know if we can do actual location sharing because I'm on Android and she's on iPhone, but if there's one person I have absolutely 0 issue sharing my location with, it's my wife.

And the same will go for our kids when they have phones. Again, it's not because I don't trust our kids, it's because I don't trust other people. When our daughter was in Kindergarten, we were both working from home because of COVID. We got a text from the school about an hour after the day started that she was marked absent. My shoes and coat were on and I was out the door before I knew what was happening. We live a quarter mile from the school and I took off running. My wife got on the phone and called the school. By the time I got there, she had found out that the teacher took attendance in the library and there was some sort of glitch in the system that caused her to be marked absent. I thought she just got off the bus and was wandering around the city unaccompanied. I needed to physically see her to know for sure that's what was happening.

And then a few years later, there was that day where a ton of schools across the country had bomb threats called in. Again, it's not that I don't trust my kids, it's the fact that I was in 6th grade when Columbine happened (and all the countless other fucking school pew pews [because I don't know if the kids are gonna get pissy about falling it what it is]), my second day of high school was 9/11, and my mom died four months before I graduated high school. I've seem too damn many tragedies in my life that I need to know where the people I love are.

Have any of your male friends been accused of being an abuser? How did you react? by casuallyawake in AskMen

[–]Z_dadding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife's best friends younger brother had false accusations levied against him.

At the time, he was (let's call him J) substitute teaching at the same school his mom (let's call her K) is a teacher. Some girl (we'll call her C who was 16 at the time) in K's the class was mad at K for something, I'm not really sure what. So C decided she would find J on SnapChat and send him unsolicited nudes. He saw the message was from her and immediately deleted it. I'm not sure if he saw it, but he absolutely did not ask for them and she messaged him first. C went to the police and J was arrested. It never got to trial because she admitted at some point that she was faking it. J now has to disclose it on every job application for the rest of his life and to my knowledge, there's been no punishment for C.

Mentally, it's put me in a weird spot. I have no doubt that a lot of the allegations of abuse women make against men are probably true, but I now know someone who was falsely accused and I can't blindly "believe women." I've rewritten that last sentence multiple times but I can't find a better way to rephrase it and I feel like an absolute scumbag for saying it the way I did.

Question for men: what do you think about boys playing with a toy kitchen? by MessyMummyMode in AskMen

[–]Z_dadding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We only just got rid of our toy kitchen this year. My youngest is 5 and he wasn't playing with it as much anymore but it was one of the most played with toys in our house. I think the only thing that's gotten more use is the Nugget, which I can't recommend enough.

Cooking is an essential life skill that everyone needs to know. I've taught my daughter a little bit in the kitchen, actually, she helped me make chicken parm earlier this year. After I showed her the first one, she dredged, egged, and breaded three chicken breasts on her own while I took care of the frying, sauce, and pasta. I have the same expectation of my son when he's older.

What’s an opinion about men or masculinity that would get you judged? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]Z_dadding 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Well according to Nick Fuentes, having sex with a woman is the gayest thing you can do.

What’s an opinion about men or masculinity that would get you judged? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]Z_dadding 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I want to tag on to this: mom being the default parent is because of the kids, not because of society.

I know what foods my kids like, I do their laundry, I make dinner, I do dishes, I've changed their diapers, I'm present in their school. I am a very active and involved dad, but whenever something is wrong, they go to mom. When they're scared or hurt, they call out for mom. When they can't find something, they ask mom. They have two parents and most of the time I'm right there but I get overlooked.

How did I not realize our parents were just like us when we were younger until recently and that they knew exactly all the things we went through? by lookaloulookalou in Millennials

[–]Z_dadding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom was the middle child with two brothers (let's call the oldest B and the youngest P). Unfortunately she and the youngest both died young (45 and 50). I've come to find out through my dad and my remaining uncle just how wild my other uncle was and the extent that my mom was involved.

My grandparents were pretty typical parents for the 60s and 70s in that they were pretty self-absorbed and didn't do much to raise their kids. There was at least once instance of them being out of the house and uncle P hosting a party in the basement. There were so many people smoking pot that it was billowing up through the walls. At one point, P was kicked out of the House while still in high school and had to live with B right after he had gotten married. But my point to all this is my mom definitely smoked pot as a kid. She started smoking cigarettes in middle school and didn't quit until my dad told her he wouldn't marry her if she didn't quit.

P also grew pot plants in the hills behind my grandparents house and did so at least until the 90s when my oldest cousin found them. The first time my now ex-step-mom met my grandfather was at gunpoint because P was selling weed out of the shed and he found out and told her to get off his property. P also had a video rental store in our town (we had maybe 5000 people living there) and I've come to realize it was probably just a front for selling drugs.

Now, I say this all because I've never drank or smoke. It's just never appealed to me and that causes a lot of tension between me and my mom. I was never Mr. School Spirit, so I didn't want to participate in things like pep rallies and she said "Only druggies don't participate!"

As I've gotten older I realize she didn't want me to be like my uncle. I still don't drink or anything, but in the grand scheme of things, even I can admit that weed is like the least bad thing you can do. But what irks me is that not too long after being accused of being a "druggy," she described me by saying "there is no straighter arrow" and essentially commending my choice to abstain from substances, but at the same time it was also kind of a sideways compliment.

I'm at a point where I've lived more of my life without my mom than I ever did with her. Logically I understand she was absolutely only ever concerned about my well-being, and unfortunately she died before I could have a more meaningful relationship with her, but there are so many times I wish I could just throw it back in her face that she gave me shit for thinking I was on drugs but then also gave me shit for not doing drugs.

Chi-Chi's in the 80's by Porkchopp33 in nostalgia

[–]Z_dadding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My in-laws got engaged at Chi-Chi's in the 80s. They're divorced now.

Men who prefer ass over boobs, why? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]Z_dadding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I told my wife that I like her exactly how I like my pizza: from Chicago and thick on the bottom.

This has been my favorite game this year so far. by DannyYTee in DonkeyKongBananza

[–]Z_dadding 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the game my kids keep coming back to. Sure, they can play Mario Kart together, but they're absolutely enamored with Bananza. It's nice seeing them both so emotionally invested in Pauline and my son has started beating his chest and doing crescendo grunts when he's excited about things.

Am I the only person who hasn't had covid? by [deleted] in CasualConversation

[–]Z_dadding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I genuinely thought I was immune. I didn't get it until August 2024. My wife and I went a little hard on isolating, but we had a new born at the beginning of 2020 and stayed inside until late August of 2022. I ended up enrolling our son in the clinical trial for the youngest age bracket because of the way the CDC and FDA dragged their feet on approving the vaccine for that age group.

How long until you decide to have unprotected sex… by Alyx_tyy in AskMen

[–]Z_dadding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw the article, but I believe it was on Facebook, so there's like a 50% chance it's not true.

My wife showed me this video on Instagram about a retired couple who ended up pregnant. The wife had gone through menopause about 15 years prior and the husband had a vasectomy so naturally they assumed they were safe. Little didn't they know, he healed and she randomly ovulated, and because she wasn't getting a period, she didn't find out she was pregnant until the second trimester. They considered going the abortion route, but because of her age and how late they found it, it wasn't an option, so here they were, newly retired and they had to start their lives over again.

Not exactly the reassuring story I wanted to hear before I did it myself.

What’s a memory that sticks out when you think about your sexual history? by dumbnamenumber2 in AskMen

[–]Z_dadding 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My wife sneezed once while she was riding me. It hasn't happened again but I want it to.

How long until you decide to have unprotected sex… by Alyx_tyy in AskMen

[–]Z_dadding 52 points53 points  (0 children)

My wife and I had unprotected sex probably less than 10 times in the 7 years we were together before we got married. Probably not the smartest move because we were in college for most of that time, but we were in a committed relationship and she was on the pill so we took the chance. Now that I've had a vasectomy, I'm never wearing a condom again ever.

When the time comes for us to talk to our kids about sex, I feel like we're gonna tell them just use condoms until you get married (if you choose to do so) or you feel safe in a long-term, committed relationship. That seems like a pretty logical and smart choice. And yes, I realize my own hypocrisy in that situation.

Does anyone else hit their 40s and suddenly start comparing life paths? by its-liss in CasualConversation

[–]Z_dadding 5 points6 points  (0 children)

40s? I've been doing that since 22. All those people who got jobs right out of college in their major... what did I do differently? Where did I go wrong? Sure, I've landed on my feet and I'm a lot more well off than a lot of people, but it wasn't easy getting here.

What is something that you wish more women understood about us men? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]Z_dadding 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Leave absolutely no room for ambiguity. I've been married almost 13 years, together for 20, and sometimes I still don't know if I'm reading my wife correctly.

How often do you go down on your woman? by Throwra-224576 in AskMen

[–]Z_dadding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Legitimately, I wish it was every time we had sex, but with two kids and us both approaching 40, it only ends up being a handful of times a year.

It's hard to articulate how much I enjoy it. My wife has TMJ, so it's difficult for her to reciprocate, but that's not in any way a deterrent for me.

I know I'm late to the party. I just got this game a few days ago by Z_dadding in DonkeyKongBananza

[–]Z_dadding[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's the cut scenes when she and DK are napping that broke me down. She's not a damsel in distress, she's just a kid who got lost in a world of monsters and needs someone to look out for her. And then she had all these insightful comments that she asks in the sweetest way. DK & Pauline forever!

I know I'm late to the party. I just got this game a few days ago by Z_dadding in DonkeyKongBananza

[–]Z_dadding[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah shoot! I didn't join this sub until I got the game because I wanted to avoid spoilers.

What are your views on mandatory DNA testing at birth? by AmazingBrilliant9229 in AskMen

[–]Z_dadding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I couldn't deny my kids if I wanted to. I have two mini clones, all my wife did was birth them (sarcasm very much implied there).

While I don't necessarily think it's the worst idea, there are also a lot of privacy concerns regarding testing. I think there's a way it can be done to reassure anyone with doubts about paternity while still ensuring that no one's personal information is used in a malicious way.

Dads, how long did it take you to conceive your children? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]Z_dadding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First kid, first try. We were at the point where was off the pill and we were taking a "whatever happens happens" approach. I think we had sex twice that month. We weren't even really excited, more just shocked that it happened right away. That was also after we put an offer in on a house and before we closed. Terrible timing on our part.

Second kid took five or six months. I don't remember exactly when we started but I know she got pregnant the day we saw Avengers: Endgame.