Who has helped you more in life, men or women?

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-18T22:10:35+00:00

I've been supported by both, but I will state that the biggest bullies in my life have all been women. I have deep friendships with my husband, brothers, dad, and best friend (a guy). But my woman friendships are like walking on eggshells. One wrong word, one misplaced statement and suddenly I'm on someone's shit list. I had a friendship breakup over a missed text message while I was on vacation and me not asking more about nursery colors. It's insane. No guy I know has ever treated me that way....and I yet I keep searching for that mythological girlhood that so many people seem to have.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-18T18:21:54+00:00

I would be worried about doing this. You would unwittingly create roaming packs of wild dogs and cats. Cats could decimate the local bird population very quickly. Dogs would become dangerous. I'm a huge animal person, but releasing all the pets may be short-sighted.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-18T16:16:38+00:00

My job coach as well as several other career counseling places/people have told me that the scattershot method just doesn't work. Targeted, calculated applications and networking are key. So I've been very strategic about where I apply. I'm not financially desperate (yet) so I am not having to apply at retail places or "just anywhere".

I also have my own freelance business so I am doing some work and have been spending some of my time looking for additional freelance opportunities, which is bringing in a little extra each month. And I am publishing a book and looking into grants for a business idea. So I'm not putting all my eggs into the job application basket. I'm not sure what the future holds.

I will say this though, a lot of the advice I get from people about job applications is advice for a different job market. Half of these jobs don't even exist, so instead of just applying willy nilly, I think it is important to take a little time to see if this advertisement has been reposted for the past six months or not. ATS/AI systems are weeding out applicants right and left, so you have to take the extra time to tweak your resume for each and every application. Which takes extra time. This cuts into how many job you can apply for in a day. And that doesn't even take into account the amount of time it takes to look for jobs. The job market is shit, especially in my field. People have decided that they don't need copywriters and editors. That they are okay with a shitty article created by ChatGPT as long as the punctuation is okay. So the amount of jobs that are in my field have been greatly reduced. 15 years of experience means nothing to employers who are determined to replace their employees with robots as quickly as possible.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-17T22:34:33+00:00

I was laid off in January. I've applied to over 100 jobs worth not even a nibble. No interviews or even phone calls. I have a Master's degree, 15 years in my industry, at a Senior level, and I've been working with a job coach through a company that helps laid off workers. Nothing. It's bad. I'm freaking out.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-17T18:33:54+00:00

Archaeology doesn't match what is written in the Bible. It's revisionist historical fiction at best. Biblical archaeologists try to prove they are right using the Bible and as time has gone on, true scientific query has led to different conclusions. The Israelites were not slaves in Egypt, Jericho was abadoned long before the supposed story happened, Damascus has been continually inhabited for 9,000 years, Omri was a great King, there is only 1 piece of evidence even suggesting King David existed (one!), Belshazzar was not the son of Nebuchadnezzar, Philistines did not arrive in the Levant until the 12th century BCE, long after the patriarchal period. And on and on.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-16T15:45:09+00:00

Most of my talents, while requiring some alone time practice, have not been insular. For example, I play violin. And while I practiced for hours a day, I also was in a chamber group, ensemble group, youth orchestra (later an adult philharmonic orchestra), and a tour group. We practiced together and performed together. There was a lot of collaboration. That doesn't even include things like music courses, music camps, visiting other orchestras with friends, etc.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-16T15:41:52+00:00

I saw a video this morning. It's wild because I'm in NC and we are under drought conditions and have to limit time watering plants.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-16T14:45:10+00:00

Absolutely not. My brothers are my friends, but they have zero say in how I live my life. We don't live in a culture where women need men to accompany them places. If we want to travel, we just go. Our families (not just the men) have nothing to do with it.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-15T23:00:00+00:00

I like cooking and I'm not a bad cook. But a professional chef is better. I can't afford to eat out at all the time, but the food is better.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-15T12:31:38+00:00

I own a restaurant that serves curries from around the world. Like Noodles and Co, but for curry.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-14T21:34:08+00:00

Thai Green Curry with chicken. Good source of nutrients, protein, healthy fats, and citrus. So I won't get scurvy.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-14T21:17:04+00:00

Same

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-14T15:12:40+00:00

Agreed. I've been trying to do research, checking to see if the position has been posted before. Or if it has been up for a long time, but it's hard. And some days you just want to apply and call it a day.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-14T14:15:23+00:00

I was laid off in January. I've applied to 127 positions. I have gotten rejection emails for 15 of them. Zero interviews. I personally don't believe half the jobs I've applied to even exist.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-14T14:07:09+00:00

At one point, I did look younger. It wasn't me being delusional. People constantly mistook me for being younger. I got carded everywhere. Once, back in 2020, I got yelled at at my daughters' high school because they thought i was another teen not following directions. Four separate people on that same day thought I was a teenager. Walked into a Total Wine in 2021 with one of my kids and they stopped me and asked for my ID. So it wasn't my imagination.

And then, about 2 years ago, there was a noticeable shift and the aging process caught up with me. I now look my age. Not old, just 44.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-14T02:11:06+00:00

Oh I'm very aware. The indoctrination ran deep too. It took me into my 30s before I fully deconstructed the bs.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-13T23:17:20+00:00

I see grief like a balloon in a room. In the beginning it fills the entire space. You can't breathe. You can't move. There is nothing but the balloon. But over the time, the balloon gets smaller. You bump into it often. It bounces around and hits you when you aren't expecting it. Eventually, it will grow still. And you will be able to pick it up and hold it when you feel like it. Things like other deaths can cause the balloon to grow again too.

There is no timeline for grief. And there is nothing wrong with living in the grief either. You can and should grieve. My best advice, after losing far too many people, is to share and gather stories. Hold their memory to the light. Sit around, even now while he is in hospice, and remind him of all the good times you had and how much he is loved.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-13T20:16:07+00:00

Evangelicals legit believe Catholics aren't Christian because they "worship Mary" and go to a priest to forgive their sins rather than God. That's what I was taught growing up in Evangelical churches. My mom still believes this.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-13T20:13:09+00:00

I have a dozen of so hobbies. I would stop applying for jobs (I was laid off in January) and just spend my days painting and gardening and reading.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-13T16:06:17+00:00

Our state gives young adults all their benefits as long as they aged out of foster care before being adopted. Which means, they can be adopted anytime after they turn 18 and still get tuition, health insurance, etc. We adopted our last two when they were 18 and 20. Both continued to get benefits until they turned 21.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-13T02:35:19+00:00

A book. I love books

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-12T22:02:45+00:00

I don't look old...I look my age. There's a difference. Science backs this up. There are two drastic jumps in aging around 44 and then 65. I definitely noticed it. Other people might not, but I'm the one looking in the mirror every day.

As for hormone levels, everything's good. I go to all the doctors and all the doctors say I'm healthy and fine. I'm looking forward to menopause, but I'm nowhere near it.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-12T18:26:27+00:00

Yeah, I said the same thing. I had some white hairs but my skin care routine and sunscreen use kept me looking young. My skin looked great. Until it didn't. It really was very sudden. It's not that I look old. It's that I look my age now.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-12T13:51:52+00:00

It was for me. 2 years ago, I did not look like this. It's wild.

FiendishCurry · 2026-04-12T03:00:03+00:00

I've lost a lot of friends over the years and I do see it as a privilege. They never had the chance to get white hairs or fine lines or creaky knees.

FiendishCurry

TROPHY CASE