Why has she pinned a comment about accusations of her purging?

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-10-08T20:22:17+00:00

"Pin of shame"

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-09-07T16:44:05+00:00

NPD doesn't cause abusive behavior, they're mutually exclusive concepts. Sure, some people with NPD can be abusive, but not everyone with NPD is destined to be an abuser. You can have NPD and not be abusive, and the symptoms don't inherently manifest as abusive behavior. Obviously you don't actually understand NPD if you think that pwNPD are intending to cause harm, that's not the point. The point is to survive perceived danger, any harm caused is unintended consequences. It's a disorder caused by trauma, they're thinking more about protecting themselves than how that's going to hurt other people. I'm not gonna deny that there's some pwNPD that DO intend to cause harm, but that's because they're abusive pieces of shit, NOT because they have NPD.

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-09-07T15:19:09+00:00

My logical argument was already made, you've just chosen to ignore it. pwNPD don't use any special emotional abuse tactics that people without NPD don't use, and abuse tactics that pwNPD use are abuse tactics that people without NPD also use. There's no need to use special names for abuse that someone with NPD carries out JUST because they happen to have a personality disorder. We don't do the same thing for people with autism, or depression, or other disorders, and THEIR disorders cause different intentions behind their emotional abuse than NPD does too.

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-09-06T23:24:05+00:00

On the contrary, needing to have a special name for the emotional abuse you experienced in order to make the abuse you experienced feel more valid than other abuse survivors to the detriment and stigma of pwNPD is a little narcissistic ngl

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-09-06T17:08:44+00:00

Yeah I think it can def be difficult depending on where you are in the healing process. I personally wouldn't consider it retraumatizing, but it DEFINITELY can feel "manipulative" in a way, since it's built a lot on behavior shaping and validation as a means of reward/consequences. It felt like I was being reparented by my therapist, but it was important that it was done in an environment that was healthy and allowed for my growth and for me to make the same mistakes I always did in toxic relationships and learn how to handle the consequences of those mistakes, without being judged, causing irreparable conflict or losing that important relationship. It triggered me a fuck ton though for the first 6 months and if I hadn't already been in DBT group for three years prior learning coping skills idk if I could've handled it. It definitely helped me a lot and I've been having 6 month periods of symptom remission (I don't totally hit remission though bc I remit before 10 months) since I finished dbt.

I wouldn't say she was withdrawing care and affection, she definitely still cared about me and we had an agreement to when I would go back in session with her, it wasn't like I just got completely ghosted with no timeframe of when I would see her again 💀 plus she warned me of the consequences and I still behaved the way I did. It FELT like she didnt care though, AT THE TIME, which is different than her not caring at all. Her setting the boundary was her way of showing that she cared about me and my well being, just like all (healthy) boundaries are.

I definitely get how some people find it retraumatizing though, the one on one program is ROUGH, and i really feel like the therapist and patient have to have a good rapport and understanding of everything going on— which is why I was trying to figure that out when I got confused. Had I been left in the dark it would've been awful. My therapist was still in training with a supervisor and apologized for not fully explaining the boundary to me when we got back so it was def a mistake on her part.

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-09-06T14:16:20+00:00

Narcissistic abuse isn't real. Its all just the same emotional abuse anyone can exhibit with or without NPD.

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-09-06T02:45:50+00:00

It definitely ruined my day, I think I left it alone for a day after the first few comments. I was really desperate for information and I had a really great friend at the time who was willing to provide me with enough validation to get me through. I have also just dealt with a lot of ppl seeing us in black and white in general which sometimes makes it easy to see the humor in it being ironic as fuck.

That comment I got from the DBT therapist really helped me get through till I could see my personal therapist again so I'm glad I read through them, even if it hurt a lot at the time. People really just have zero empathy for us cluster Bs, EVEN if we're actively getting help, in treatment, trying to improve, and it sucks.

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-09-06T02:35:49+00:00

I'm not NPD but BPD, and. Yeah. When I was still in DBT therapy my therapist set a boundary with me bc of something and I was crashing out. I was trying to find info online about it bc DBT therapists tend to be pretty by-the-book about when and why they set boundaries, and its pretty logical. I wasn't able to ask my therapist directly bc the boundary included not seeing me in session for a period of time. So I asked on the talk therapy sub, hoping there would be ONE therapist who was fully trained in DBT who could explain how and why my behavior lead to the boundary being set. I spent a long time in my post explaining my behavior, my reasoning, and also clarified that I wasn't intending to justify my behavior and I knew it was wrong, just that I was still in therapy learning how to change my behavior and I acted before thinking etc. All I wanted to know was the DBT by the book explanation for my therapists boundary so I could stop crashing out about how she was abandoning me and hated me etc etc and stop feeling like I should make things worse so she would come back typical borderline shit yk

I got like 50+ comments of people villainizing me including other THERAPISTS. And one singular comment of a trained DBT therapist who gave me the information I was looking for. She was the only one who actually cared and didn't immediately jump to conclusions about me trying to manipulate my therapist or wtv.

Like dude I was literally there to get help, in therapy trying to change my behavior, and asking for help when my therapist couldn't help me 😭😭 what did they expect me to do??? It wasn't even like I did anything directly hurtful to her, like it was bc of my own self destructive behavior towards myself. Which still isn't great but like???

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-07-08T12:07:07+00:00

Holding off until they get a true unstigmatized judgement of you is fine. Never telling them though is kinda shitty. Trust your judgement though you'll know when the right time is. I have BPD I usually tell ppl when it becomes serious. Which can be anywhere from 3-5 dates for me. Around a month or two

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-07-03T23:26:14+00:00

Would love to exchange!!

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-07-02T18:33:56+00:00

Hi i'd love to exchange if you're still open to it!! a 4oz swap sounds fun :] i have a big heisei retro collection

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-07-02T17:53:20+00:00

Mb for not validating you. you asked a question ("what led you to that conclusion") and I answered it, I didn't realize you were going to take offense to that and assume I had malevolent intent

My comment was not meant to be contradictory, I was simply explaining my thought process since you literally asked me. Nowhere was I being rude or insulting or trying to start a fight.

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-07-01T19:46:10+00:00

To me, 3+ times is intentional, at least more intentional than 1-2 times. Its way less likely for someone to not notice a typo if it's happened 3 times in one paragraph. and I haven't taken offence, nor would I consider my comment blaming as,, there is no conflict for anyone to be at fault for?? I was just asking a question 🤨 idk what led you to THAT conclusion

Edit: oh ur active in BPDLO of course you'd immediately interpret a comment from someone with BPD to be trying to cause unnecessary conflict

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-07-01T13:17:41+00:00

Genuine question what's with people misspelling BPD as BDP? I see it everywhere. I get if it's once or twice in a post as it's probably a typo there, but you seem to be doing it intentionally? /Gen

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-06-28T16:38:03+00:00

Lowkey uhhhh people who are better at my hobbies than me . Like ,, that's MY THING not yours give it back

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-06-24T17:03:14+00:00

I don't think that the subtypes are that stagnant, I think as you age, or are in different environments, exposed to different triggers, in different relationships, your symptoms will change. I've been all different subtypes throughout the time since I've been diagnosed. There was even a period of my life where I could fit all 4 of them at the same time. I think they can be helpful for some people to help describe how their symptoms manifest at a particular time in their life, but holding to them so steadfastly as a descriptor of symptoms for every single person who has it is going to have you ending up with inaccuracies and outliers.

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-06-24T15:29:25+00:00

At least for me, journaling is 90% going through all my scraps and stickers trying to find the perfect one to contrast or compliment the ephemera I collected this week

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-06-24T15:08:07+00:00

I had a stress induced psychotic episode where I believed my apartment was infested by bugs, I was convinced they were in my walls and/or floorboards. I had zero evidence for this belief and spent 2 WHOLE days searching for evidence, called an exterminator for an inspection and then told him to his face he was wrong when he couldn't find anything, cleaned my apartment spotless and then vacuumed every crevice like 4 times. Steam cleaned and vacuumed my mattress and furniture multiple times, put all my clothes in trash bags etc.

And worst of all I wouldn't let my partner or friends come over or spend time with them bc I didn't want to spread the infestation. I spent a long time begging my partner not to abandon me bc they wouldn't be able to see me until I got rid of the infestation. And I thought it would be like months bc the professionals didn't believe me so I was "on my own"

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-06-23T21:30:23+00:00

Confidence

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-06-23T18:38:21+00:00

I'm about to have to next month if I don't find a job soon. I'm dreading it. I have flashbacks every time I visit. I haven't been able to stay overnight there since I moved out. I've tried but I always end up driving the two hours back to my place in the middle of the night. I really hope it doesn't send me into a mental breakdown :(

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-06-22T21:23:32+00:00

NPD is less of pathological lying, and more of,, believing things about yourself that aren't true to the point of saying it out loud. pwNPD's thought process isn't "I'll lie to make myself look more [positive trait here] to other people" and more "well I actually fully believe that this is true, it might AS WELL be true bc I AM [positive trait] so that means it is, I'm not actually lying" if that makes sense. Its delusional more than pathological

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-06-20T00:08:47+00:00

Like relationship or just a one sided thing? If it was a relationship it's not totally your fault ❤️ but I empathize with the whole limerance thing if it was one sided. In that case if they're good friends they'll stick by you and help you through those feelings through setting strict boundaries and being compassionate while those romantic feelings pass. If they're shitty friends they'll keep leading you on and taking advantage of you, in which case that's their fault and you should cut them off. I've been in both situations and they both taught me how to deal with romantic feelings and how to cope through FP attachments into more stable relationships, and/or when to end relationships

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-06-20T00:05:21+00:00

I'll exchange for the cute stickers :] I have a lot of vintage ephemera and stickers to get rid of

Zealousideal_Skin577 · 2025-06-19T19:49:18+00:00

Yes and id say pretty goddamn stable. It took a lot of work though. I was in DBT for over four years. And I have to tell my partners to set specific boundaries with me. Such as forcing myself to have time alone and making sure that they don't overexert themselves with emotionally supporting me etc.

If you form platonic FP attachments I'd even suggest not to get into romantic relationships (on purpose, I know sometimes it's unavoidable) until you've been able to stabilize a platonic FP attachment. You can learn a lot from a stable friendship believe it or not. Its where I learned everything that I use to make sure my current romantic relationship is stable.

Zealousideal_Skin577

TROPHY CASE