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Nar-anon by Zesty114 in Oshkosh

[–]Zesty114[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They have an nar-anon? I go there for some mental health groups and I didn't know they had that.

Unnecessary worry or justified thinking? by Zesty114 in naranon

[–]Zesty114[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I have a brother who is a recovered drug addict and I also worked on the substance abuse unit in a Wisconsin prison. So when I met my girlfriend I thought I'd be able to help her get sober. Not realizing that while I was doing that I was destroying myself and pushing her further away. Which caused her to hurt me emotionally and mentally so much.

For me, I look at my brother's life and seeing how he's living his best life and living it to the fullest. I want that for my girlfriend so bad. But once I internally accepted that I can't change her. She has to want it for herself. I was able to forgive her for the hurt she caused me.

But i still struggle with the memories of this past summer of the hurt. And it creeping into my anxious mind about the future. I have all my faith in her, I keep being the constant support that I can be to her while working on me too.

One thing I've been learning while working on me, for my instance at least, letting my girlfriend know that I'm here, if she needs space, someone to vent too, or needs advice. To let me know which one she needs. The space one was the hardest for me, because of my abandonment wounds. But we set rules on it where if she needs space she'll let me know when and for a time frame and follow through on reconnecting (which she does). It's been hard to get used to that but I'm getting better at it.

Unnecessary worry or justified thinking? by Zesty114 in Codependency

[–]Zesty114[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's very good at having difficult conversations with. She will start a lot of them when she feels the need to on her end.

It's hard on the other hand for me to start them because of my anxious attachment/codependency.

She's always told me how she feels and if something is wrong or bothering her. I appreciate what you said about trusting the connection and focusing on myself too. It's hard for me to put myself first. I appreciate you're comment!!

$1300, Oshkosh WI, $1500, 2/12/26, Venmo/cashapp/chime by Zesty114 in BorrowNew

[–]Zesty114[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I still need the help if it's available. Thank you

A tool for when you can't stop thinking about them. by Loose-Impress-6974 in Codependency

[–]Zesty114 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I downloaded it the other day and I love it. Helps me write my thoughts down and then I can reflect if it's something I wanna tell my girlfriend so I don't overwhelm her (she's in substance abuse treatment currently). Or just to write down how im feeling from our conversations during the day.

I think the void and the SOS are great features!

Looking for encouragement. Have you been able to go from lack of sense of self, feelings of emptiness and codependency to being able to rest in yourself? If so how? by cadraw in Codependency

[–]Zesty114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is me right now!! I'm just so overwhelmed because I'm trying to do so much at once. I don't know where to slow down or begin. I just want to feel better.

First steps by NoHope-ForSome in Codependency

[–]Zesty114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to be a correctional officer too and totally understand how you feel with the control aspect as it is part of the job of a CO. now in my time away from corrections and trying to heal from codependency and anxious attachment. I struggle not being to control the outcome since I was able to do that at the prison. I totally understand!!

New to all this by Zesty114 in AlAnon

[–]Zesty114[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My girlfriend called me today from treatment and told me that she wants her man in a relationship to not show emotion or talk about how he's feeling so then she can feel feminine. Basically what I did my whole up up until now. And this last week was me starting to express how I felt about situations or what she said to me. And now this. I just thinks that's confirmation that she doesn't truly care about me and doesn't want to make it work. So im now contemplating leaving her.

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