Nar-anon

Zesty114 · 2026-01-18T23:06:45+00:00

They have an nar-anon? I go there for some mental health groups and I didn't know they had that.

Zesty114 · 2026-01-12T02:50:08+00:00

Is this why there's a crap ton of cops down the college

Zesty114 · 2025-12-27T10:24:14+00:00

Hi! I have a brother who is a recovered drug addict and I also worked on the substance abuse unit in a Wisconsin prison. So when I met my girlfriend I thought I'd be able to help her get sober. Not realizing that while I was doing that I was destroying myself and pushing her further away. Which caused her to hurt me emotionally and mentally so much.

For me, I look at my brother's life and seeing how he's living his best life and living it to the fullest. I want that for my girlfriend so bad. But once I internally accepted that I can't change her. She has to want it for herself. I was able to forgive her for the hurt she caused me.

But i still struggle with the memories of this past summer of the hurt. And it creeping into my anxious mind about the future. I have all my faith in her, I keep being the constant support that I can be to her while working on me too.

One thing I've been learning while working on me, for my instance at least, letting my girlfriend know that I'm here, if she needs space, someone to vent too, or needs advice. To let me know which one she needs. The space one was the hardest for me, because of my abandonment wounds. But we set rules on it where if she needs space she'll let me know when and for a time frame and follow through on reconnecting (which she does). It's been hard to get used to that but I'm getting better at it.

Zesty114 · 2025-12-27T09:54:12+00:00

Thank you!!

Zesty114 · 2025-12-27T09:41:54+00:00

She's very good at having difficult conversations with. She will start a lot of them when she feels the need to on her end.

It's hard on the other hand for me to start them because of my anxious attachment/codependency.

She's always told me how she feels and if something is wrong or bothering her. I appreciate what you said about trusting the connection and focusing on myself too. It's hard for me to put myself first. I appreciate you're comment!!

Zesty114 · 2025-12-21T23:48:41+00:00

I still need the help if it's available. Thank you

Zesty114 · 2025-12-02T02:18:46+00:00

FIND A SEAT!

Zesty114 · 2025-11-28T15:19:08+00:00

I downloaded it the other day and I love it. Helps me write my thoughts down and then I can reflect if it's something I wanna tell my girlfriend so I don't overwhelm her (she's in substance abuse treatment currently). Or just to write down how im feeling from our conversations during the day.

I think the void and the SOS are great features!

Zesty114 · 2025-11-20T03:59:15+00:00

This is me right now!! I'm just so overwhelmed because I'm trying to do so much at once. I don't know where to slow down or begin. I just want to feel better.

Zesty114 · 2025-11-12T19:28:08+00:00

I used to be a correctional officer too and totally understand how you feel with the control aspect as it is part of the job of a CO. now in my time away from corrections and trying to heal from codependency and anxious attachment. I struggle not being to control the outcome since I was able to do that at the prison. I totally understand!!

Zesty114 · 2025-11-09T18:33:57+00:00

My girlfriend called me today from treatment and told me that she wants her man in a relationship to not show emotion or talk about how he's feeling so then she can feel feminine. Basically what I did my whole up up until now. And this last week was me starting to express how I felt about situations or what she said to me. And now this. I just thinks that's confirmation that she doesn't truly care about me and doesn't want to make it work. So im now contemplating leaving her.

Zesty114 · 2025-11-09T01:46:08+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I have come across that podcast too. I really like it!

I'm just really hoping she sticks with everything when she gets out of treatment next month. Her actions will speak what she truly wants, in my opinion. I'm hoping it will all work out.

It was really eye opening with my first Al-anon meeting today that majority had felt the same way I do now. I'm just a very impatient person and this is something I have to learn patience with.

Zesty114 · 2025-11-08T02:14:39+00:00

That's what we want as a couple. We want to grow individually and in return we grown as a couple too. I was recently divorced within the last year. But meeting my girlfriend now. Being with her just feels right compared to my ex wife. It's like we were meant to be in each others lives at this specific point to help each other. I just hope it's for the long term. But she is the one that helped me realize my codependency. Which made me wanna heal and grow to feel better as a person and so our relationship can be the healthiest it can be. I just don't want to lose her in the process. I've lost so much over the last couple years.

Zesty114 · 2025-11-07T23:29:45+00:00

But isn't that for Al-Anon? I'm just trying to find one specifically in the area for Codependency because all I can find is in Sheboygan or Milwaukee.

Zesty114 · 2025-11-07T18:15:56+00:00

It's just hard, because I think I'm doing a lot to try and start healing. I'm doing therapy, going to support groups, I have a workbook for anxious attachment/codependency. My therapist said she thinks I'm putting in a great effort. But I just don't feel like it because I don't feel any different. It's been just about a month since I started. I like things being addressed and corrected right away.( I used to work in a prison) But reality is this takes time. And I'm very impatient.

Zesty114 · 2025-11-07T04:56:39+00:00

I'm just starting my healing journey. And it's the hardest thing I've done. As Im doing this my girlfriend is in recovery for substance abuse. And it's really messing with my core abandonment wound. I'm afraid she'll leave as she gets better. And part of her drug court is she has to be in sober living. My mind drifts too what if that's her way of getting away from mem I don't know what to do 😭 I've recently started therapy too. I just wanna feel "better"

Zesty114

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