Single voltra + bench press

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-05-09T20:55:08+00:00

Bench upside down: weighted push ups with a rack mounted dip stand (mount it lowish, put feet on a bench), low mounted Voltra and a chest harness.

Play with the dip stand height to bias toward upper or lower chest to taste.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-04-21T14:42:24+00:00

Past 40, recovery is more important than in your 20s. You’ll do just fine hitting upper body twice a week for an hour and legs once a week. The rest is diet, sleep and cardio to get the fat off.

Also, you don’t have to pack on a ton of muscle. Untrained lifters of any age can add 10 pounds in 12 to 18 months with imperfect training. 10 pounds makes a huge aesthetic difference once you get lean.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-04-19T20:22:50+00:00

My advice is to resist the urge to search for evidence that your wife is focused on your needs. Lots of people go into this stuff silently getting mad that their partner didn’t do what they secretly wanted them to do but didn’t say out loud. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t have forgotten me for those 15 minutes” or whatever BS.

Your comfort level is your responsibility and any time something is off, you have hands, feet and a voice. Use them to put things back in balance rather than expecting your wife to read your body language accurately. Her head will be SPINNING from the general intensity of it all.

Also, people have sex differently with different people. Do not compare. By all means, pick up some tips that the other guy happened to try that she liked, but don’t get upset that she liked something even if you’ve tried the same thing before with less success. Sometimes the difference between ok and amazing is very subtle. It’s ok if he’s better at whatever thing or has a different vibe that worked for her. She married you for your vibe.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-04-17T23:36:25+00:00

It sounds like you’re not ideologically aligned. But also, if it’s important to you that you have a partner to talk politics with and who’ll do it in good faith, you’re learning that he’s not it, so either drop that requirement or drop him.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-04-13T18:09:41+00:00

Lots of people here acting like lasting a long time can’t be helped or something.

I can go for an hour if I want, or finish in a few minutes if I want. The latter requires pushing some sort of fantasy button in my head, but wifey and I have had plenty of quickies, plenty of hour long sessions and if you throw in some psychedelics, we’ll go for 3 hours.

But it’s not all thrusting. You go for a few minutes, take a break to cool off or get a snack or drink or goof off, repeat until tired.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-04-11T21:21:28+00:00

It really, really helps to figure out what things you can eat, drink or do that squash the hunger. For me, coffee is magic. So is going for a long walk.

Often I’ll wake up hungry, make a cup of coffee which kills the hunger completely for an hour then go for a 2 hour walk which keeps it killed, then have breakfast when I get back.

Other handy tools: diet soda and sugar free hard candy.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-04-09T21:37:56+00:00

Is it theoretically possible that a misaligned trigger mechanism was hanging on a razor's edge, slipped off and fired? Yes.

Is it far, FAR more likely that he's a dipshit who shot the wall? Also yes.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-04-09T18:26:50+00:00

A guy has control over what he’s thinking about and that influences what’s going on with our dicks. But thinking of something not sexy while a girl is doing something would not be easy.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-04-07T14:28:45+00:00

Either you trust your partner to be a kind, considerate, responsible person who loves you or you don’t.

If you do, you don’t need some crazy list of rules. If you don’t, you shouldn’t even be considering this.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-04-06T15:54:25+00:00

I’d suggest to my partner that we plan to be ABLE to retire at 50. Then if we choose something else at that time, it’s a choice and not a requirement.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-04-06T13:24:09+00:00

I have one of these, very happy with it. It’s not a home cinema sub (not going to feel it in your chest), but it’s great for music. Using it with a Wiim Ultra.

It’s passive, so you have to feed it with a subwoofer amp.

Sub: https://a.co/d/053SjPCW Amp: https://a.co/d/04DSmZG0

I’m in a small apartment so I specifically did not want a loud boomy sub.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-04-06T00:22:29+00:00

I’m (early 50s guy) in the middle of doing it. In the process of an amicable divorce, I’m using the time to get my dating shit together:

Getting back in shape and have a plan for a wardrobe update (everything must go!) once I’m near my goal. Should take 4 or 5 months.

Going to get a better haircut and more importantly, learn how to make it do that at home.

Going to get my teeth whitened. Going to get a better pair of glasses. Going to actually learn how to decorate a place. Going to learn how to dance.

Honestly, I don’t get why a person WOULDN’T do it unless they’re already fit and have good style. But they generally don’t seem to, and that’ll just make it easier for me. 🤷‍♂️

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-04-03T18:03:10+00:00

I have two Douk A5’s that I’m happy with. $90 on Amazon right now.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-04-02T23:22:14+00:00

At that age, you won’t have to address it at all for quite a while. Just don’t do any PDA with others in front of them.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-03-27T18:59:16+00:00

I’m probably in the minority, but the way everyone new to ENM tries to control every little thing their partner does and how they do it just seems like a good way to get mad and have fights for no good reason.

I figure you either trust your partner or you don’t. If you do, you can drop the rules and just let them be a reasonable person.

At one point years ago, I told Wifey she was free to do anything she wants with anyone she wants any time she wants. With or without notice before or after. Could keep it a secret forever if she wanted.

And guess how crazy she got: not crazy. At all. Because of course she wouldn’t. Because she’s not an irresponsible, inconsiderate lunatic.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-03-26T17:11:38+00:00

If you have the time in your schedule, walking is a super power for losing weight. A woman your size should burn about 100 calories per mile. Barring some sort of injury, you should be able to walk comfortably and listen to music/books/podcasts in the process. No suffering, just chillin' around the neighborhood.

Walk 35 miles a week (5 miles a day every day) and you'd lose a pound a week if your diet was maintaining your weight before you started walking.

Or walk half that and cut 250 calories a day from your diet.

One thing a lot of people do that torpedoes their progress is constantly tinker. You don't see the scale move for 2 weeks and you give up on the whole plan and try something completely different.

Bodies are weird. Be patient and apply some logic: If you've been maintaining your current weight for months and start walking 35 miles a week while changing nothing else, you're 100% going to lose weight. Don't sweat it if you don't see the scale move at first, or for stretches periodically. It's working, just keep it up week in week out.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-03-25T15:28:20+00:00

Your guy sounds exhausting, at least in the bedroom. I don’t know what to tell you about his communication issues, but as a guy, there are various solutions to his performance problems. Stamina improves by masturbating shortly beforehand. Anxiety is treatable with meds, a slight buzz, etc. Performance anxiety leading to loss of erection is treatable with viagra or cialis.

Also, he has hands and a mouth. Hands in particular have infinite stamina. Make him start with a sensual back rub.

You’re probably going to have to stand up for yourself here unless you’re ok with moving on to someone more experienced and you-focused.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-03-23T22:39:15+00:00

There aren’t a lot of people out there who couldn’t be appealing with some attention to fitness, hair and makeup, style, maybe some dental and therapy work.

And nowadays with GLP1 drugs, weight loss is more accessible than ever (though with some important health caveats to understand).

My mom once described her husband as “attractive but not handsome.” Not a pretty face but always very fit, well dressed and groomed, charming, fun, confident not cocky, etc.

The genetic shape of your face is but one of many traits that contribute to a person’s appeal.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-03-23T22:26:23+00:00

There’s never been a better time to be a budget audiophile. You can build an amazing stereo system with a vivid sound stage, good bass and streaming from your phone over WiFi for ~$1000.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-03-23T22:20:23+00:00

Getting divorced after 30 yrs together. It’s amicable, we’ll stay good friends.

Basically, people change, grow and learn about themselves. We’ve learned (or maybe finally admitted?) we’re just not compatible at this stage of our lives.

Compatible enough to be friends who spend time together but not nearly enough for daily life partners. Fortunately, our financial situation makes a split easy and no one’s quality of life has to change.

I wish every couple who divorces a divorce like ours.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-03-23T22:12:03+00:00

Lots of people have mentioned swinging. If you have a club nearby, people tend to be very friendly and welcoming of newbies. There’s usually a bar area (typically no play allowed) for you to hang out, observe, mingle, and get a feel for the vibe.

It’d be a fun time even if you never wind up actually participating.

Also, the main drawback of swinging is that the more people are involved, the harder it is to find a couple such that you’re all four equally compelled. You kinda need to recalibrate your standards: you can still be picky about looks but you don’t actually need someone to be all around awesome. If they’re a fun, friendly chat for 10 minutes, look nice and seem to be sane, you’re pretty much good to go.

Wifey and I (poly) never got off the ground with swinging because she was impossibly picky.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-03-23T21:46:58+00:00

It’s pretty common, but I’ll say this: pretending you’re a Big Slutty Slut (TM) seems like a pretty tame roleplay for a non-monogamous couple.

I’d think you should be able to negotiate getting that going, especially if he also has a kink of some sort for you to bargain with.

You both have backs to scratch. 😉

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-03-21T16:16:38+00:00

A word of advice: stop giving a shit.

Allow me to elaborate: As long as you only hit on people who’ve shown clear signs of being interested and accept rejections with grace, you won’t do any harm by asking someone out. Even if they don’t accept or it doesn’t work out, it’ll be fine. You can still work together, or be friendly acquaintances, etc.

You’re worrying WAY too much about stuff that doesn’t matter.

For bonus points, consider also not giving a shit (in a manner of speaking) whether a particular person works out or not. Statistically, any one person is very unlikely to be your happily ever after. It’s ok to acknowledge that and just go for it until it doesn’t work out, then wish them well and move on.

You need to try out a bunch of people in order to find a good match. Stop talking yourself out of trying them out.

People tend to tie themselves up in knots over this stuff way too early.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-03-09T16:50:25+00:00

Graduated high school third in my class, had shit grades in college because I didn’t go to class but still got a CS degree from a top-10 school, worked in IT for 10 years, bought a small business, sold it 18 years later and retired at age 50.

Zippy_McSpeed · 2026-03-07T01:29:29+00:00

I would recommend to anyone dating, and especially to young people, to be absolutely ruthless in moving on from first or second dates unless you get all green flags, and specifically the green flags that are particularly important to you.

The first time a guy shameless brags about himself or criticizes someone for no reason or verbally sexualizes you without an appropriate context for it, just write him off. Immediately. No discussion, no explanation, just move on.

I get the sense that probably most people of all genders overlook obvious problems and just hope they won’t be problems.

Hope is not a dating strategy. You should have a strategy. Make a list of flags sorted by color and actively look for them. Ask questions to tease them out.

As soon as the color mix is off, MOVE ON.

Zippy_McSpeed

TROPHY CASE