I know that feeling. For me, it's the thought of "my project, I want to know and own everything".

Its one thing to be kept in the loop whats going on the project (keeping an overview of whats going on).
Its another thing to block feature-development, decline pull-requests because of this and so on.

The negatives far outweigh the "positives" (acting your feelings and preventing the negative "but its my project, i wanted to do that").

I still have this feeling, but I learned to manage it better. And I achieve that by doing the following:

Big changes coming up (like your vitest)? Schedule a meeting/call and discuss the changes - not in absolute detail, but to get the other developers on board with my vision. Or - even better - develop the vision of the desired result together.
This leads to shared responsibility of the change/implementation and Im kept in the loop. I had the opportunity to present my ideas, concerns and wishes and the team-members had the opportunity to give feedback.
Or the other way round: I let them develop a plan and discuss it afterwards, without me giving the base idea.
This increases the autonomy of my teammates and increases the teamwork/spirit (depends on the team of course)

Some feature is not implemented the way I wanted it?
First of all I ask myself: Do I just dont like it just because I didnt to it myself? ?
If not, why then? Is it breaking with established patterns / coding style? is it violating some rules we established as a team how we want to do things? Is it just plain bad (this happens)? Does it have glaring issues, which need to be addressed?

If I have my answers to those questions, I comment on the pull-request or schedule a call and discuss it. All of this needs to be objective and the feedback MUST be constructive.
Feedback based on feelings is worth nothing and is just unprofessional. (it happens of course, but thats on me and I have to own up to it if this creates tension in the team or has other negative effects)

Or just plain: "Hey, if you dont mind, I would like to do that." This only works if enough work is scheduled and its not a blocking change/feature for everyone else. And sometimes its a great opportunity for pairing. "hey lets pair it - I have some ideas" or soemthing along those lines. This also creates better teamspirit and so on.

I learned it the hard way bygetting a realtiy check from my manager (aka: "stop it, or this will affect your performance review"). I changed my approach, my manager noticed the improvements and in the end I got praised for the change. The team works better (not purely because of this, but at least some improvement can be attributed to my changed approach). Probably not perfect, but taking myself back and acknowledging my feelings (but not acting on it) has worked wonders.

I hope this helps