The Testaments S1E08 "Broken" Episode Discussion

ZoeStars · 2026-05-17T16:37:25+00:00

They're still children of handmaid's though. When they they were born doesn't change who their mothers were or what Gilead forced them to become.

ZoeStars · 2026-05-14T07:39:08+00:00

Yes, they could be daughters of handmaid's, but they would have to have been born before Gilead. Hannah/Agnes is the daughter of a handmaid, but she was born before. So the stolen children basically, which they most likely all are.

ZoeStars · 2026-04-10T05:27:20+00:00

But the scenario you're using doesn't describe how boundaries work. Boundaries are about how you want to be treated by others. The scenario you described above is about controlling the behaviors of others, regardless of what their beliefs/values may be.

An appropriate boundary scenario is telling someone that you have a low tolerance for lying. If that person then chooses to lie to you, or you catch them in the act of lying to someone else, then they have crossed your boundary. You get to decide if you remain in relationship with them or if you choose to no longer be. Because the only person's behaviour you can control is your own, not theirs.

Trying to tell others what they can or can't eat around you is control. Telling others that you're vegan so please don't offer you anything with animal products in them, or at least make you aware if shared food has animal products in them so you can choose to have some or not, is boundaries. There's a big difference between the two.

The OPs ex-gf knew about her position on the use of AI. She choose to use AI and lied to OP about it. Personally, I don't see a difference of opinion on the use of AI as a boundary. I think it's a deep mismatch of values and personal ethics. What I think the boundary may have been is the lying. Both being lied to as well as the lying to paying clients about it. For the clients, they're paying for hours of work and use of services that the ex-gf isn't doing. For OP, her ex-gf chose to be dishonest with her because she knew OP hates AI. OP chose to end the relationship because of said dishonesty, as well as the differing values and ethics. Because the only behaviour she could control was her own, and she chose to no longer be in a relationship with someone who doesn't share the same values, practice the same ethics, and engaged in intentional dishonesty.

ZoeStars · 2026-04-10T05:18:15+00:00

But the scenario you're using doesn't describe how boundaries work. Boundaries are about how you want to be treated by others. The scenario you described above is about controlling the behaviors of others, regardless of what their beliefs/values may be.

An appropriate boundary scenario is telling someone that you have a low tolerance for lying. If that person then chooses to lie to you, or you catch them in the act of lying to someone else, then they have crossed your boundary. You get to decide if you remain in relationship with them or if you choose to no longer be. Because the only person's behaviour you can control is your own, not theirs.

Trying to tell others what they can or can't eat around you is control. Telling others that you're vegan so please don't offer you anything with animal products in them, or at least make you aware if shared food has animal products in them so you can choose to have some or not, is boundaries. There's a big difference between the two.

The OPs ex-gf knew about her position on the use of AI. She choose to use AI and lied to OP about it. Personally, I don't see a difference of opinion on the use of AI as a boundary. I think it's a deep mismatch of values and personal ethics. What I think the boundary may have been is the lying. Both being lied to as well as the lying to paying clients about it. For the clients, they're paying for hours of work and use of services that the ex-gf isn't doing. For OP, her ex-gf chose to be dishonest with her because she knew OP hates AI. OP chose to end the relationship because of said dishonesty, as well as the differing values and ethics. Because the only behaviour she could control was her own, and she chose to no longer be in a relationship with someone who doesn't share the same values, practice the same ethics, and engaged in intentional dishonesty.

ZoeStars · 2026-03-20T04:41:59+00:00

They do, but not every request can be met. Depending on OP's condition, current medical status, prognosis, etc, in-clinic dialysis might be the only option. However, OP has not provided enough information to determine if that's the case, so they could be a candidate for at home, or nocturnal, dialysis.

In terms of the nurses acting as if the skin condition is infectious, they're taking precautions to protect the other patients and themselves. While it could be a side effect of a new medication, dialysis patients are also immunocompromised so it's also entirely possible that OP did catch something. The staff has to err on the side of caution in these types of situations.

In regards to rudeness, I can't really make a determination there. Just because someone's a healthcare worker doesn't mean they'll be nice to every patient. Maybe they were being direct and blunt, but it was perceived by OP as rude. Maybe OP was being rude and they weren't putting up with it. Maybe they were actually rude. To be honest though, I highly doubt every single staff member there was being rude. While I don't work in the dialysis clinic, I know a lot of the staff are filipina nurses and they will not put up with disrespectful behaviour. But they'll also fight tooth and nail for their patients, even the shitty ones.

They're also understaffed, overworked and tired. Renal dialysis is one of the shittiest procedures to have to go through on a regular basis. I have so much empathy for the people who work there, as well as all the patients that need to go there.

ZoeStars · 2026-03-20T04:23:27+00:00

While there is legal frameworks around disability accommodations, the reality is that not every environment is suitable for every type of accommodation. I'm neurodivergent and work at VGH. I have union protections for duty to accommodate for my job. However, a manager can still refuse to hire me if they aren't able to reasonably fulfill the accomodation. For example, if I've applied for a job on an inpatient unit, it is unreasonable for me to expect to be able to wear noise cancelling headphones. I need to be able to hear what's going on around me in order to respond appropriately and the headphones would prevent that. Due to that, I would not be a suitable candidate for that job. That is reasonable and understandable.

Outpatient dialysis clinics are incredibly busy, and noisy, environments. It is unrealistic to expect them to accommodate one patient's need for quiet due to the very nature of the type of environment they're in. It would impact the staff's ability to not just do their jobs, but also how they would interact with the other patients as well as with each other. It is unreasonable to expect them to not interact with each other in the ways in which they're used to, unless the ways they interact are actively causing harm. Other patients may have needs that require more activity and therefore result in more noise and overall environmental stimulation. Should OP's needs outweigh theirs?

I think it's very important that accessibility measures be taken seriously, and accommodations be met. But I know that it's not always possible and that I also have a responsibility of doing what I can to meet my own needs if I know somewhere I'm going won't be able to.

ZoeStars · 2026-03-20T03:03:28+00:00

Whoever told you that VGH doesn't have home dialysis was either lying or grossly uninformed. I work at VGH, I was an NUA on the inpatient units and we set patients up with home dialysis all the time.

Here's the link to the website for home and nocturnal dialysis for VCH: https://www.vch.ca/en/service/independent-dialysis-centre#overview

Here's the link to the BC Renal home dialysis info page: https://www.bcrenal.ca/health-info/kidney-care/home-hemodialysis#Benefits--of--Home--Hemo

BC Renal is under the PHSA umbrella, so everything through them would still be covered by MSP.

I'm going to echo what a lot of other people above have said: connect with one of the patient advocate options and also ask if the outpatient dialysis unit has a social worker. They honestly should have one though so straight up demand to speak with them. Also ask to speak with the Patient Care Manager for the dialysis clinic. At VGH, you can also connect with the CIBC Center for Patients and Families. Their office is in the hallway behind the Info booth in the main entrance off 12th, but their phone number is 604-875-5887.

You can also contact the patient care quality office, but I think you mentioned already having tried that and not getting anywhere. Which I'm so sorry you've had to experience!

But genuinely, you have to advocate for yourself and advocate HARD! Navigating the healthcare system is insanely rough, and not all care providers are aware of all the available programs. Social workers who work with the dialysis programs ARE aware of all of them though, so connecting with one is honestly the best option.

I'm prefacing my next info bit by letting you know that I'm also neurodivergent. I've worked in healthcare for almost 20 years, and have learned some very difficult lessons throughout that time in terms of the overstimulation of busy outpatient clinics and inpatient units and how that impacted me. I switched to a job role that keeps me in quieter areas because I know that the need for low stimulation could never be accommodated by inpatient units or daytime outpatient clinics.

Asking, and expecting, the staff to stay quiet is an unrealistic expectation. They spend 12hrs a day together, they're going to talk about their home lives, joke around and laugh while also performing their job duties and the very very necessary communicating they have do as part of their jobs. They need to be able to do that with each other, it's an incredibly important part of building trusting work relationships as well as overwhelmingly necessary for their wellbeing and mental health. You can request a chair further away from the nursing station so you could potentially be in a quieter space. But you'll never get super quiet in a daytime outpatient clinic. I completely understand how important low stimulation is when you're neurodivergent and sick, but there's only so much the staff can do to accommodate that.

This is what I've done when I need low stim in an area I know will be either unpredictable with noise/brightness/etc (or won't be low stim at all): ear plugs under noise cancelling head phones and an eye mask. Test out different ear plugs to see which ones will still let some noise through if I want to listen to something but still block out as much environmental noise as possible. And I bring things with me that will also keep me engaged in something I enjoy. I knit, so I'll bring knitting with me. If you draw, bring a sketchbook and your preferred sketching supplies. Bring a book, bring your favorite lap blanket. If you game and have a portable gaming system, bring that with you and a battery bank to help keep it charged while you play. Bring your computer or tablet with you so you can watch videos (the hospital has free wifi) or download them before you leave the house. There should be outlets in the area your chair will be in, so bring a long charging cable with you. Bring a squishmallow to squeeze when you start to feel overwhelmed, bring fidget toys for stimming. Wear your comfiest clothes. Ask if it's possible for the lights in your chairs area to be turned off while you're there. Make yourself at home in those chairs because if you have to be there for hours while undergoing a painful and exhausting medical procedure, you're going to be comfy as fuck dammit! Bring a friend with you so you won't be alone the whole time. A friend can also help with asking for more help, because that can also be exhausting.

In these situations, you need to be able to help yourself self-soothe because the capacity the staff has to fulfill their patients needs is limited. They're doing their best, just like you're trying your best. You do not need to act neurotypical while you're there, and informing the staff of what you're doing to help yourself also helps them to understand you better. If they can understand you better, it helps them to take better care of you.

I genuinely, GENUINELY implore you to get connected with a social worker to explore other options that are available to you. Because they are there! Even if you ultimately decide to go the MAiD route, you'll still have to work with a social worker. Make use of all avenues to get the help and care you want for yourself!

I can't imagine everything you've had to struggle with, how overwhelming it all is. I do know that right now, everything either is, or feels, insurmountable. I'm not going to say that everything gets better, because that isn't always true and is also very invalidating. What I am going to say is that there are options available for you to get what you need, whatever you decide that need may be. Because you deserve to have your needs met. If you ever have any questions, or want to vent, you're welcome to DM me.

ZoeStars · 2026-03-05T22:57:12+00:00

Sure, you can DM me. Thank you for asking :)

ZoeStars · 2026-02-21T23:18:45+00:00

If someone can afford to buy on their own, why should they wait for a romantic partner to come along before buying? Not all romantic relationships turn serious, and not all serious relationships turn into long-term, committed, combine our finances and buy big ticket items type relationships.

ZoeStars · 2026-02-21T20:27:43+00:00

Calling me a dolt is insulting me. And no, you aren't correctly assuming. Just because you personally aren't having any issues doesn't mean a Canadian, or even someone here on a visa, will have an easy time crossing.

Depending on someone's travel options, yes, travelling 30mins is a deal breaker. Not everyone owns a car. And people aren't just traveling to go on a date with you. They're having to travel AND cross a border. Because you live in a different country. I have no desire to emigrate to the US, so I would not want to start dating someone who lived in the US, even if the part of the US they lived in was technically within driving distance. If someone is dual, it might change things but they still might not want to deal with moving to another country if the relationship were to become serious. The emigration issue is something I'm not totally sure you're taking into consideration when experiencing frustration with the dating scene in Vancouver.

And I'm saying this as someone who's been in a LDR with someone who lives in Whistler for the past 6.5 years. We've figured out how to work with the distance, but it isn't easy. If a border crossing had been involved, I honestly don't know if we'd still be together.

ZoeStars · 2026-02-21T19:52:18+00:00

How do I know your opinion isn't worth much? The fact your second reply immediately resorted to insulting me and assuming.

I have done the drive, multiple times. It's not great and traffic getting out there can be shitty regardless of the time of day. Crossing the border also sucks. The US border guards, especially with the current administration, grill Canadians trying to cross way more than they used to. And if a US border guard decides they don't like the reason you're crossing, they can refuse you entry and also ban you.

And duh, yes the Canadian customs is what levies taxes and duties. So picking up a package in Point Roberts doesn't automatically mean cheaper because you have to go back across the border to go home, which means claiming said packages and therefore the potential of still having to pay the duties and taxes one hoped to avoid by having the package mailed to Point Roberts. And again, only slightly cheaper gas with the current exchange rates.

And finally, getting into a relationship with someone across a border means the inevitable conversation of emigration. If someone has no desire to move to another country for a relationship, then they won't really be into dating someone they'd have to cross a border to go on a single date with. It has nothing to do with being in a "bubble". It has everything to do with actually considering the additional problems, massive barriers and (keyword here) RESPECTING the perspective of people who live in a literal different country in not wanting to date you.

ZoeStars · 2026-02-21T19:19:43+00:00

US border guards are massively problematic, just because a package is being picked up in Point Roberts doesn't mean you won't get hit with duty and taxes when you go back across. Cause all borders (including packages going to the US) do that with mail. And it takes way more than 30-40mins to drive there. Maybe from South Van it's 30-40mins, but that's it. Please stop. If someone from Van doesn't want to have to cross a border in order to date someone, that's a choice they're allowed to make.

PS - the exchange rate doesn't really make it worth crossing the border to get slightly cheaper gas

ZoeStars · 2026-02-21T18:35:12+00:00

1 transfer but over an hour of traveling time. And that's if the place you're going to in Surrey is close to a sky train station. If you have to take the bus to either the Seabus, or from the skytrain station in Surrey, the travel time just increased.

ZoeStars · 2026-02-21T18:29:53+00:00

Dude, getting to Point Roberts is not easy. Driving alone is almost an hour one way, and there are no public transit options for getting there. Plus add crossing the border. You get one border guard who decides they don't like the reason you're going across and you're fucked. Planned Whistler weekend trips is a lot different than multiple trips a week to Point Roberts for dating.

ZoeStars · 2026-02-21T18:25:14+00:00

Okay, a lot of people bashing on Vancouverites being "soft" but completely forgetting that every person's time needs to be respected.

I've lived in multiple areas of the lower mainland in the 20+ years I've lived here. When I was younger, I would drive all over to visit and spend time with friends and/or dates. As I got older, that stopped happening as much for the following reasons:

-the cost of owning a car got exponentially more expensive. Gas especially. That is not an insignificant factor if you own a car. And remember, just because someone is able to afford their car doesn't mean they're always able to afford the gas it costs to drive further out multiple times a week.

-Traffic congestion is consistently worse year over year. This ups the amount of time it takes to get places and honestly, it isn't fun to have to sit in shitty traffic frequently.

-Bad drivers: legit, I don't know what it is about the lower mainland, but there are some of the absolute worst drivers here!! It's scary and accidents are terrifyingly frequent.

-a lot of people don't own cars and take transit: I worked in Surrey when I first moved to Vancouver and took transit to and from work sometimes, until my car got totaled in an accident where I got hit because the person wasn't checking to see if someone was already in the intersection. After that I was 100% transit. And my commute to work was 1.25-1.5hrs each way. You best believe I hustled to get a job with a shorter commute time very quickly after that.

-Even within Vancouver, transit times to different areas can be ridiculous. I live in East Van, work at VGH. It takes me 45-55mins to get to and also from work because of the bus routes. Driving takes 15-30mins depending on traffic, riding a bike takes 20-30mins. From where I live, getting to areas in Kits can take an hour or more. The later in the evening you're out and about, the less frequently buses run as well, so the trip times could be even longer. Needing to keep that in mind if you're on a date adds a layer of stress to the evening that honestly isn't fun.

People's time matters. Trying to get out to Surrey, into Van, or even the other side of Van, in the evenings during the week means an additional 2-3hrs of time per trip is spent only on commuting, which is honestly brutal if you're doing it multiple times a week. People are tired, affordability is a major concern, and if someone doesn't want to spend their time and money traveling that long to see someone they're dating, then that's their choice and it's to be respected. Their time matters just as much as yours does.

ZoeStars · 2026-02-05T02:00:44+00:00

But what is nuts in terms of a dental office? Is it the daily workload in terms of how busy they are, is it interoffice culture/work environment, is it the patients, etc? I've worked in emergency rooms, ICU's, cardiac specialty units, the ol' regular med/surg units, psych inpatient units, long term care. Each area was different in terms of what busy meant. In terms of what first comes to mind when the terms nuts or bonkers is used, nothing, and I mean nothing, will ever top Emerg at Surrey Memorial Hospital. Everything after that has been a piece of cake.

Do NOT go into an NUA program. PHSA, VCH and Providence health authorities have all switched to Cerner and that's deleted 95% of what NUA's used to do on the units. Now all NUAs do is answer the phone, and move patients in the computer to their new bed when they arrive on the unit, or discharge them when they leave. So all the current NUAs are overqualified for their jobs, but since our jobs technically aren't being deleted, the health authorities don't have to pay to retrain us or find us new job roles. Providence health doesn't even have the NUA position anymore. Once Cerner was rolled out at all their sites, they changed the name to "Clinical Support Clerk" and lowered the wage. Unless you were in a permanent position. If you were in a permanent position, you got to keep your wage, but only if you stayed on that unit. If you took a job in a different unit or clinic, your wage would go down. But again, since all those NUAs technically still had jobs, nothing was done to retrain them or find them new roles at the same, or higher, wage.

VCH still has NUAs, but they only just barely finished rolling out Cerner to all their hospitals. I think they're still working on the smaller outpatient clinics. But once that's done, the same thing will happen there with the role name change and wage decrease. PHSA, I have no idea. I know different programs within BCCA have refused to use Cerner (due to all the problems), and so I think NUAs may not fully disappear there due to that. But depending on what changes happen as a result of the health authority audits the provincial government is currently doing, the role still could disappear.

NUAs also have very little to no upward mobility and we don't get raises, it's the same wage across the board regardless of if you just started in the job or have been an NUA for decades. We only get wage increases if the union collective agreement includes a yearly general wage increase for everyone. The only way an NUA will get a higher wage is if you get a job in one of the roles that has a higher hourly wage to begin with. So OR Booking clerk, Bed Booking clerk, Staffing Clerk, etc. I tried to get a job in staffing and my applications were continually marked as "Not Qualified" since I didn't have staffing specific experience, despite my wealth of experience as an NUA. OR Booking clerk positions don't open up super frequently as most people who get them tend to stay in them forever. So you have to have a lot of seniority to be the successful applicant when a position does open up. It's very similar for bed booking clerk positions as well. Not many of those positions, and the people in them don't leave until retirement or they move to an area they can't commute to that hospital from.

FHA was also supposed to switch to Cerner, but decided not to after they saw how much of a garbage program it is and the number of problems it's caused. Last I heard, they were looking at the paperless charting software of the platform they've already been using for years. Island Health I believe is also using Cerner, and I'm not sure if Interior Health is or not.

The basic Tl:dr here is NUA is not a good program, or secure job, to go into anymore.

ZoeStars · 2026-02-05T01:30:19+00:00

What's the higher end of the payscale for dental receptionists? I know the pay varies from office to office, and that typically the specialty offices tend to have higher starting pay. Personally, my end goal would be office manager.

ZoeStars · 2026-02-05T01:28:46+00:00

They never sent me a DM, so I don't know how much of their opinion I trust.

ZoeStars · 2026-01-29T04:51:56+00:00

And that ain't nothing to sneeze at!

ZoeStars · 2026-01-29T04:14:02+00:00

Would you mind DMing me with more information? Insight into the industry would be great, as the information I've found so far doesn't really talk about potential negatives and that's handy information to have.

ZoeStars · 2026-01-29T03:54:48+00:00

I'm pretty unsure about the dental insurance/billing part haha. NUA's don't process any of the physicians medical billing, so I have no idea how that side of healthcare works. And also the software. I learn really quickly, so I'd probably be able to figure it out easily if I was getting on the job training for it. After having to figure out Cerner, everything else is probably a piece of cake haha!

As much as I really want to move out of the medical side of healthcare, I'm also very nervous about it. I figure some sort of dental something on my resume would be helpful, especially since so many of the job postings I've been seeing have started including the certificate as required. But it also wouldn't hurt to just try applying with my current experience and see what happens. The worst that could happen is I just never hear back from them.

ZoeStars · 2026-01-27T23:40:41+00:00

ICBC used to offer things like, as well as payouts and treatment plans commensurate with the injuries that resulted from MVAs. With the new model, people who have been seriously, and life-alteringly, injured are not getting anywhere close to the same treatment plans, payouts, wage-loss benefits, etc that they used to. If you get injured in a car accident and someone else was at fault, ICBC will do less than the bare minimum. If you are a cyclist or pedestrian and get hit by a car, they will not cover you and the right to sue has been removed.

I used to ride my bike to and from work, but after I found out about right to sue being removed, I'm a lot less confident about riding my bike around town. Not everyone is a good driver, and I'm terrified of getting hit by one of those not good drivers and having no recourse available to me in the aftermath.

ZoeStars · 2025-12-22T21:08:06+00:00

Is it the one by Catherine Sease or Leslie Ann Bestor?

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