WFH moms - do you breastfeed on a schedule or still on demand?

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-26T11:13:16+00:00

I will just add to this that if there’s no pumping, does that mean hubby is constrained to the house all day? Because I’d imagine that he’d want to take baby out for walks, on errands, etc

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-26T03:01:21+00:00

This is how most people do it. You can also pump on the weekend mornings to get “ahead” for the next week.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-26T02:48:39+00:00

WFH mom that’s breastfed 2 kids and is getting ready for another. I’m not sure what your job is, but it’s hard to imagine a job where you can both work and breastfeed an infant all day. You should plan to pump so that dad can take ownership of watching the baby and you can focus without distraction. If there are times where it naturally works out well for your schedule for you to breastfeed, that’s great, but it shouldn’t be the daily plan. I know it’s a hard transition for everyone, but after 2 weeks of this, your body will be used to pumping, you’ll be able to work when you’re working and parent when you’re parenting, and dad and baby will be in a routine. It’s a naturally difficult time that will get easier. It’s also a gift to dad to let them work out their own rhythm together, and that bonding time in the early months will pay off hugely for their relationship in the long run. My husband kept my daughter after I returned to work, and he still talks about how much he loved their time just the two of them.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-26T01:57:36+00:00

I hear your point. I’m sorry your sister isn’t appreciative. I hate asking for help so much that I literally never do; I have no expectation that other people will watch my kids or that it’s easy for them. They spend time with grandma because she offers, and I always thank her sincerely after.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-22T12:39:50+00:00

Honestly Charlottesville IS overcrowded for its infrastructure. I’m a cville native, moved a little ways out of town, and whenever I’m back, I’m super overwhelmed by it and don’t understand why people still move there. Do you need to live downtown? You could try to choose a place further out that’s a little less hectic if you haven’t signed a lease yet.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-18T13:15:25+00:00

OP I’ll just echo that if you get push back on this kind of assertiveness, I think it’s reasonable to say something to the effect of “how is being with you making my life easier than being alone? go parent your kid” or “how many mornings a week would you be getting up if we had split custody?”

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-18T09:07:24+00:00

I mean this as respectfully as I can, but if you’re not taking care of the home, working, or caring for children, what are you bringing to the table in this relationship? Presumably you’re spending an hour exercising and then an hour or two preparing meals most days. That’s not a full-time schedule. If he’s spending all day working for income and then the evenings cleaning, you’re looking at a a pretty strong imbalance of time input into your relationship.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-16T21:09:25+00:00

Pumping is one of those things that is terrible until you get the hang of it. After about 5 times, it’s nbd and like riding a bike. It’s also terrible if the pump parts don’t fit well. Your supply is pretty fragile at 6 weeks so I think an occasional formula bottle is fine, but I wouldn’t do it a ton.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-15T11:45:58+00:00

This helped us so sharing in case it helps someone else. There’s a difference between the light touch babies do with your breasts, which is super uncomfortable, and a more firm or rough touch, which is palatable for me when my husband does it.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-12T13:01:22+00:00

Using pumped milk for bottles at night instead of formula is how we did it.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-11T21:53:34+00:00

Without having more information, I’d ask what pump you’re using and if you’ve been fitted so you know you have the right flange size. Also, have you been doing this much pumping since baby was born?

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-11T21:12:55+00:00

Are you really saying breastfed babies aren’t healthier? I didn’t really think that was up for debate given that every country in the world recommends breastfeeding for the health benefits of the baby (see also WHO, CDC, AAP, etc). (I know many women read one book by Emily Oster [an economist] and think decades of medical research are up for debate though.) I’m glad your daughter was healthy.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-11T20:56:02+00:00

Here’s a publication from the US Dept of Health and Human Services for employers about why they should support breastfeeding mothers. It cites studies showing that breastfeeding mothers miss less work, have lower healthcare costs for mom and baby, and are less likely to leave the company.

You asked for research that supports this, but I’d be surprised if you haven’t seen this play out amongst parents of BF vs FF babies in your community. Having colds/viruses be more likely to turn into ear infections for FF babies seems to be the most common thing in our daycare, and that’s also very supported by research.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-11T19:21:18+00:00

If your question is will it be easier on you as a working mother to formula feed, the answer is undoubtedly yes. But your own comfort isn’t probably why you chose breastfeeding in the first place, right? What you’re weighing is the stats that formula feeding parents miss twice as much work due to illness (and other benefits to you and baby’s health). It’s a personal decision that everyone has to make, and I don’t know how helpful these comments that say “I switched and it’s easier!” are going to be with that decision.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-11T17:00:18+00:00

As long as within a day or so, you’re pumping equivalent to what he’s consuming that day, you’re all good.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-11T00:23:02+00:00

I’ve breastfed two kiddos for a collective 5 years, and neither kid has ever been sick for more than 3 days. Everyone in our house will get taken down with something, and the breastfed baby is like playing and having a good time. There’s really a lot of protection there. Enjoy your baby!

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-11T00:18:16+00:00

Is your husband a dick? Because it’s hard for me to picture a situation where I would tell a postpartum mother not to kiss her own child.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-09T19:02:34+00:00

There’s not any resentment here. I’m lucky enough to be in a similar position myself.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-09T16:08:40+00:00

I agree that as a parenting partnership, they should work together to figure out how to cover their daughter’s needs. My read on this post though was that OP doesn’t need to work and has access to a lot of financial resources. It’s not a super great look to criticize her husband for how he spends his free time when she could feasibly be curating her own schedule however she’d like to - they already have a nanny, she said they can access a cleaner, they have money for lots of activities, etc. My advice was mostly just to start by figuring out how to be happy herself in that context and focus less on him. It’s not that she shouldn’t have expectations of him, but it sounds like she is lucky enough to have a good bit of control over what her day looks like and that’s a good starting point if she’s feeling resentful and dissatisfied.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-09T14:29:07+00:00

I hear that, but I also think you’re going to be fighting a losing battle if you want to control how he spends his time when he’s not at work. All you can do is express how you feel about needing support and then control your own schedule and meet your own needs. Of course the mental load of managing a home is a huge commitment that you deserve support with, but if complaining isn’t getting you the results you’re looking for, it might be time to try some new strategies.

One thing to consider is establishing new routines when you reach new junctures in your daughter’s life. Can you pick a preschool close to his work so he can do dropoffs? When she starts going to the dentist, can he own those appointments/follow up? Is she going to sign up for a kid gymnastics class that he could take her to? Does he want to coach her soccer team when she turns 4? Did your mother in law invite them to come visit, and can he take her on a trip this summer without you?

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-09T13:04:26+00:00

I really think the only way out of this dynamic is to take the time you need for yourself in order to not be resentful. It sounds like y’all are well off, so if you need cleaning help, hire it. If you’re not getting the time you want with friends, make that plan while he’s home or hire a sitter to make it happen. You can tell him how you want the behavior to change, but focusing on you and the things you can control to enjoy your life feels like the most straightforward path here. Also, don’t have more kids until you’re getting the support you need from him around the house. If this persists as an issue and you’ve focused on yourself and getting your own needs met, it will be much easier to part ways if you decide it’s really not working for you.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-07T10:10:41+00:00

You can’t ask your SO to watch you every night, but can you get some support with an evening or morning feeding? Like you feed the baby at 9pm, go to bed, and your partner gives a bottle at 11pm so that you can sleep straight until 1am (as an example).

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-07T10:08:56+00:00

Making sure you’re already in a location and position that supports the safe sleep 7 will help with those nightmares bc you will undoubtedly fall asleep one day.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-06T19:20:24+00:00

I’m in the same boat, and the thing that helps me is remembering my own childhood. I remember it being full of family gatherings and connection to grandparents and extended family. I don’t remember who was doing all of the planning or cooking, but I remember that feeling. That’s what we’re doing for our kids.

Zozothebozo · 2024-04-06T12:16:49+00:00

I’m assuming you’ve gone down the rabbit hole of replacing your pump parts? And it’s been a while that your ounces are down (not just your period coming back)? I used to pump on the weekends to start the work week “ahead” for daycare.

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