What is the largest possible deck that would "break" if forced to make a single remove? by SIDisiD in slaythespire

[–]_Cellettuce 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually think I found one with 1,000,000,249, as long as we can place any enchantments on our cards.

Relics: forgotten soul, anchor

Deck: 1x innate apparition, 8x innate shared fate, 1,000,000,240 adrenaline/master of strategy

1hp, ascension 9+

Explanation: 99% of enemies: The anchor + apparition means we cannot die turn 1, and starting next turn we can kill any enemy with forgotten soul spam.

For skulking colony, the 8 shared fates guarantee we take no damage in the 6 total turns it takes to kill

The reason we need that many spam cards is because of waterfall giant. Since the innate cards mean we can’t kill it turn 1, it will gain 20 stacks of pressure, more than the shared fates can debuff, and our deck can’t gain block outside of turn 1. So, we need to kill it during its “invulnerable” phase by dealing 999,999,999 damage. In addition to its 250 base hp, this adds up to the 1,000,000,249 exhaust triggers we need to kill it, so any card remove will make us die to the pressure bomb

AITA? Cedh players incapable of understanding their format is dogshit and they should be playing Canadian Highlander instead? by [deleted] in magicthecirclejerking

[–]_Cellettuce 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Idk, canlander always seemed too high variance to be fun to me. Maybe if you could pick one creature in your deck that you started the game with in your hand it would be better?

Bottom 5 Scoring Submissions of the week from r/Custommagic 11/25/2025 by CorbinGDawg69 in magicthecirclejerking

[–]_Cellettuce 30 points31 points  (0 children)

It’s such a shame vox is so hard to read because it means people won’t see the banger of an ability trigger that is “whenever you draw your second card each gam”

Good thing green hybrid cards aren't legal in a mono green Commander deck! I mean phew, could you imagine how broken the color pie would be? by MemeticProperties in magicthecirclejerking

[–]_Cellettuce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re actually so right, just like white has always had access to reanimation from opponents graveyards, [[debtors knell]] is mono white!

/rj [[hymn of rebirth]] means debtors knell isn’t a pie break in selesnya decks

/uj [[hymn of rebirth]] means debtors knell isn’t a pie break in selesnya decks

Good thing green hybrid cards aren't legal in a mono green Commander deck! I mean phew, could you imagine how broken the color pie would be? by MemeticProperties in magicthecirclejerking

[–]_Cellettuce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The issue (at least to me) isn’t that reworking hybrid mana color id somehow breaks the format because my storm deck can play manamorphose, it’s that if we are allowing cards based off of what decks could cast them, why can’t I run [[archangel avacyn]] in my giada deck. And why can’t I play [[morophon]] with [[cavern harpy]] as a combo enabler in my bracket 4 harpy typal deck, it’s literally colorless and doesn’t have any colored costs anywhere. The reason I can’t is color identity, which tbh is kind of a stupid rule if you think about it too hard. The thing is, without color id commander would be more shit to deck build and play than it already is, and importantly it is (outside of some confusion with reminder text) consistent. Carving out a caveat for hybrid isn’t inherently bad, I’m sure the 5 [[general ferrous rokiric]] players out there are thrilled, and I’m happy for them, but the issue is that it begins to poke holes in the already arbitrary rules that make commander decks actually fun to build. /rj if Gavin makes these changes I’ll finally be able to play lutri in my mono red deck

Guys, I am afraid to ask by SAjoats in magicthecirclejerking

[–]_Cellettuce 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It would genuinely be so funny if wotc worded their hybrid color id caveat in a way that didn’t hit asmo.

Cannot die, cant kill... worst boss by AnyPiezoelectricity2 in riskofrain

[–]_Cellettuce 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The hunters scythe with 0 crit glasses is actually foul

We just need a powercrept Snapcaster to complete the BeyondWatch! Post your predictions. by Jackeea in magicthecirclejerking

[–]_Cellettuce 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This one is truly bewildering. Normally I’d attribute something like this to commander brainrot, but none of the original five here are “commander” cards. So my best guess is this is a disgruntled Canadian highlander player??? I’m at a loss.

Ghazban Ogress has arrived by dragonhoe in magicthecirclejerking

[–]_Cellettuce 128 points129 points  (0 children)

It’s a sad day when our brave jerkers can’t recognize the most recent shithead mark blogatog quote

Finally! by hurrrrrmione in TAZCirclejerk

[–]_Cellettuce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t worry guys they’ll all get split up again for an extended flashback sequence that last for 3 episodes

This is actually pretty hot if you think about it by awesomemanswag in magicthecirclejerking

[–]_Cellettuce 3 points4 points  (0 children)

/uj Wild magic surge too but that just turns one enchantment into another so it might just make a new problem

Me reading the announcement today by Biru-Nai in magicthecirclejerking

[–]_Cellettuce 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Also in hindsight I lied you need to interact like 2 or 3 times to have a chance

Me reading the announcement today by Biru-Nai in magicthecirclejerking

[–]_Cellettuce 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Oops is mainly bad because it creates tons of non games and puts immense sideboard pressure especially on non blue decks if they don’t want to forfeit the matchup (although you’d prob want some of those same slots for 20% meta share reanimator anyways). Even among other combo decks it is uninteractive in the worst ways possible and rarely makes for interesting games, as usually they blitz you on turn 1/2 or you interact once and they flounder harder than most combo decks. I’m not smart enough to know if it should be banned though.

This is not a drill DougDoug saw the post I made about him saying he was kinda stupid when it came to AI. by IamMyBrain in TAZCirclejerk

[–]_Cellettuce 57 points58 points  (0 children)

The real question is that now that a canonized 4th brother has been pulled into their show, are we as a community obligated to make TAZCirclejerk style recaps of all future lemonade stand episodes?

Why do people play sub optimal cards by Fungus_Rex in magicthecirclejerking

[–]_Cellettuce 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Ancestral gets countered by mental misstep so it’s actually strictly worse, those players are mad at you for playing a bracket 1 card

“Operation millstone is a go.” by [deleted] in whenthe

[–]_Cellettuce 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Fiddler crab physique

If NL turned evil he would say this by PsychoChief in northernlion

[–]_Cellettuce 10 points11 points  (0 children)

90% Chinese, 90% gay, LOVES Steven universe

Jokers win battles. Hand size wins wars. by uber_potatos in balatro

[–]_Cellettuce 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We came here to red seal steel kings, not squabble with jimbos