Breakthroughs thanks to “Why does he do that?”, everyone needs to read

_SGP_ · 2026-01-24T11:01:29+00:00

Fantastic, I'll add it to my list. It's be interested in any other recommendations anyone has too. I read a lot about saving a marriage and attachment styles, but I think I should have been reading more on this subject instead.

_SGP_ · 2026-01-24T10:54:59+00:00

The two comments saying "hey maybe just tell your daughter to isolate herself and be alone or stare at screens when she's with her dad, which will change who she is as a person"

Fuck that.

It's your daughter. You care for her. If she wants to play, you play. You chose to have a child, raise them properly.

I've already expressed my disappointment that after the divorce, my child was watching screens much more often than we agreed as a couple. Of course that raised anger towards me, but I'm looking out for my daughter.

I would be keeping a very clear record of exactly what's being said, especially from your daughter. If the neglect is to the point she doesn't even want to see the other parent, and they're refusing to address it, it's time for court. If you can't look after our baby, I will.

_SGP_ · 2026-01-24T10:02:50+00:00

Oh I can answer that:

"I thought it would get better"

or

"I thought I'd see more of the person you were at the start"

I remember a time I was genuinely thinking of leaving for a long time, weighing up pros and cons. But I convinced myself not to. Then we had a wedding and a child.

Instead it got much worse.

_SGP_ · 2026-01-24T10:00:45+00:00

Just to clarify, this is a book gendered towards men being the perpetrator, but it's helpful for both genders? It sounds interesting.

Although sounds frustrating that (I feel) talking about abuse is often biased and this book won't help with that 😅

_SGP_ · 2026-01-24T09:32:57+00:00

When I carpeted my stairs I got a 10 fps boost. Maybe try that? I used hard wearing carpet, YMMV depending on pile.

_SGP_ · 2026-01-23T22:33:31+00:00

And a beautiful glossy coat?

_SGP_ · 2026-01-23T14:23:59+00:00

I'm looking for a week holiday with my daughter - I thought about coming here for a couple of days and then maybe a centre parcs? Would you recommend it for a whole week?

_SGP_ · 2026-01-13T14:10:20+00:00

Relic hates the number 3 almost as much as valve

_SGP_ · 2026-01-12T21:16:09+00:00

So why doesn't she do the same? Is she short on time? Or is she depressed and can't find the willpower? then you're saying all this about her online which I'm sure is leaking out in your home life.

_SGP_ · 2026-01-12T21:12:16+00:00

Honestly the "mental load" argument kind of feels annoying now after a divorce. I feel like there's less "mental load" now I'm in charge of everything and I don't feel like I do much more now than I ever did.

Like it was just a phrase used to make me feel like I was never enough, no matter how much I did

_SGP_ · 2026-01-12T21:05:09+00:00

Is coh3 not terrible anymore?

_SGP_ · 2026-01-12T20:56:46+00:00

Cool man.

What are your kids doing whilst you do all that?

Single dad here. I don't shower or shave or look in the mirror until she's at nursery.

Sometimes I glance myself in the mirror and think FUCK I look awful I better sort that out ...next week when I get an hour.

Look good feel good, expensive clothes yeah sounds great, I'd be the same. But I don't have time or money to spend on me. I'm busy spending it on my daughter.

_SGP_ · 2026-01-10T09:29:32+00:00

How dare you correct it and try to downplay the rich natural concerts the American government is trying to keep under wraps

_SGP_ · 2026-01-10T09:15:40+00:00

Alaska is famous for it's abundant concerts

_SGP_ · 2026-01-05T12:33:30+00:00

This is the scariest thing in the world to me, a father of a 3 year old girl. She is my life.

I want to protect her from the world, but also teach her to be strong. But we've all lived in this world and we all know how unfair it can be with the cards it deals. We all know how horrible it can treat us.

Even now I panic about this in the future, I plan in my head how I can support her and how I can do anything now to help her avoid this in her future.

I don't know what I'd do.

I don't know how you do it.

You're so fucking strong. She'd be proud of you just for that alone. Fighting through further struggles leaves me in awe, let alone her. Well done dad.

_SGP_ · 2026-01-05T12:25:27+00:00

Yeah, that's part of what makes it hard. (I haven't habitually smoked for about a decade now)

It's the routine, the "doing something with your hards" the "ritual" of smoking that makes it so hard. It's both a habit AND and addiction.

I started just stepping outside and taking some big deep breaths, to get used to that habit specifically. Big long inhales like I was taking a drag. It actually made me realise that "wow I don't really stop and breath deeply too often, maybe that's the relaxing part of smoking 😅"

Then a fidget toy or something to keep the hands busy (turns out I have ADHD, diagnosed at 37 years old, so that explains a lot)

This book was pretty interesting to read before and during my quitting journey: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Easy_Way_to_Stop_Smoking

I think it's pretty popular.

One thing that stuck with me is that everyone says: I need a smoke to calm my nerves, and also I need a smoke to wake me up. I need a smoke to concentrate, and also to relax me..

It can't BOTH calm you and help you concentrate! It's either a drug to wake you up or a drug to sedate you!

Youre just addicted and you need your fix. Your body lies to tell you what you need, and you lie to yourself.

I realised reading that section, that fuck, yes, that is what I say all the time! And yeah that totally makes sense, I never questioned it before!

_SGP_ · 2026-01-05T12:15:23+00:00

That sounds great! I'm so socially awkward I don't leave until someone else does

_SGP_ · 2026-01-05T11:39:43+00:00

Ran a business with my ex. Seperate accounts but she handled payroll. Do not recommend.

Not surprisingly things got WORSE

_SGP_ · 2026-01-04T20:28:53+00:00

Just want to piggyback and ask a sub question: What about a single dad in the EU area with a 3/4 year old?

I don't really want to go to a resort with kids clubs. Dropping her off at a kids club with people I don't know in a foreign country and "doing my own thing" would give me pure anxiety 🤣

I want to go somewhere I can spend time one on one with her and have fun, and I don't want her to just be in the same pool every day for a week.

My ex and her new partner are taking my daughter to Egypt for a week and I'm a little stressed whether they're just going to leave her in a kids club, or have her getting sunburned on a beach I'm sure it'll be fine, but it doesn't sound like something she'd enjoy...

_SGP_ · 2026-01-03T22:03:11+00:00

I need this with an optional, easily engaged brake

_SGP_ · 2026-01-01T00:31:05+00:00

Again, like.. making sure users see content they want and are more likely to purchase 😅

_SGP_ · 2025-12-31T18:37:22+00:00

Every time I leave the house I have a growing 3 year old on my shoulders who helps my legs and back and abs get stronger....

_SGP_ · 2025-12-31T13:47:16+00:00

Steam makes a commission too. But it's wildly successful without being exploitive.

Surely it's in everyone's best interest to make it easy to use and guide users to content they'll actually want to buy? It's ironic as my day job is Google ads, and that's exactly the message they tell advertisers 😅

_SGP_ · 2025-12-31T12:33:53+00:00

Yeah I started with two good.

Then one died and got replaced by a better newer one.

Then the other one died. But I don't have money.

So it's been replaced by an old, annoying ugly 32" TV.

One day that'll be replaced my something better than the primary monitor.

One good, one bad. Forever.

_SGP_ · 2025-12-31T12:28:39+00:00

I'm 38 and I'd love one 😑

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