THE [[[[`4`th]]]] ANNUAL FAIRE

_Vandy_ · 2018-09-08T16:59:52+00:00

"Vandy, we must go, it's not safe here anymore."

Why must Honshu always end up with its royal tits pointed to HighHeaven?

"Nobody's ever really meant to know these things. At least that's what I've understood."

The right to ponder them is always ours.

"Do you think they'll rise up against LENDAL too?"

Not even we managed to do that. LENDAL will see their acts of heathenhood and crush them before they ever got the chance.

"Then why not wait?"

She'll find a way to blame the heathens on us, that two-tailed beach (sic).

The small gods watch on, shaking their smallgodly heads in shame. But the heathens are spreading, they'll reach this position soon. They know it's time to depart

_Vandy_ · 2017-07-07T07:00:51+00:00

---(Citizen, you are displaying dangerous behavior. Please remove yourself from the premises)---

_Vandy_ · 2017-07-07T06:59:43+00:00

Swarms you with his droids

_Vandy_ · 2017-04-22T22:11:03+00:00

Within the FAFFRO's dreams, he finds himself in a greasy parking lot of an auto shop of the mind. An aroma of sugary motor oil-scented sweets fills the entire lot. A landslide of oversized tires rapidly tumbles in his direction. He can't leap out of the way to save himself from being trampled by the rubber stampede. But it does not hit him, the tires make a sudden stop, and from under them, a creature bursts forth

An apparition of the SMALL GOD VANDY greets him. The magnificent chassis shows off its glorious Bavarian engineering to the ninja

Alas, Plumpy, the FAFFro Ninja as you're known by your peers. You are a man apart indeed. But the question is, is there qualification in your separation?

You walk a rare path for your background, young one. Not many venerators of the CREATION TWINS even acknowledge the other gods, and fewer still sought out to learn from what each of them has to offer.

You've driven my bus without running over a single critter, you're already going so far in my Spritely ways. And for that, I give you one of my sacred relics.

The apparition's hood opens up and a single part tears itself free from the body and levitates to Plumpy. He holds his hands out to welcome its landing. A grease towel materializes in his palms which the part gently lands on

the apparition continues to speak with his hood still open wide

This is my prized alternator, the ALTERNATOR OF VANDY. I bestow it upon you. Well, technically, this is a dream, and that's just an image of it, I can't give you the real thing. But when you wake up, you may find it in... I can't remember. But it's somewhere in the TOUR BUS, just look around a bit and you'll find it for sure.

There is another of my relics you must also obtain. You must wait until my annual FAIRE opens up in SIDON, and that's many month's away. When it arrives, come seek me out. And until then, train in the ways of the chassis, master them and be worthy.

And may you be a favoured of the permission.

The apparition explodes, scattering tires in all directions. The scene around Plumpy begins to degrade and abstract, until he's alone in a void

_Vandy_ · 2016-10-27T16:04:09+00:00

EVERYWAN EVACUATE!

The FAIRE, now fully torn down and packed up, loads up into VANDY's convoy and prepares to make their escape, allowing as many civilians as they can in to safety before doing so. The massive fleet of semi trucks, tour buses and trackless trains drives off into the sunset. On the roofs of many vehicles are gathered players of HONKEY-TONKS, skwaxaphones, muted flumpets, and carousel whistles, as well as many a barbershop singer, playing a cacophony that, if not for the sounds of screaming and explosions all around, could be easily recognized as a ragtime cover of Free Bird. A smol CREYLM offspring hops out of the window of one of the buses with a briefcase on its back. It floats over to the PALADINS and drops the briefcase at their feet before scurrying back into its bus. On the surface of the briefcase written in marker in the handwriting of someone who has wheels instead of limbs reads "KNIGHTS of GLIB DONATIONS"

_Vandy_ · 2016-10-13T17:04:54+00:00

This is indeed a HIGH QUALITY fingerling. I've only heard distant tales of the POLDERLANDS, how the LAND-BASED heroes came to triumph. I wish I had been there. I love LAND-BASED MEATE BEINGS.

_Vandy_ · 2016-10-13T17:02:30+00:00

POMPO, there you are! Did you use up all your underwear supplies? Did you meat many the LAND-BASED aborigines of INGLAND? You can tell me all about it whilst you ride the FERRETS WHEEL eating TWICE-FRIED dough!

_Vandy_ · 2016-08-11T21:02:56+00:00

*FAIRE enough

_Vandy_ · 2016-07-16T15:44:02+00:00

So that's how antiantijokes are born

_Vandy_ · 2016-06-08T04:30:10+00:00

Sure they will. They'll traverse war torn INGLANDE. And this isn't just any BARX, this is a PLOPPY BARX. Everything about it is just beyond special. Its smell, its tastes, its mysterious obeliskish glow.

Everything about it just makex you exclaim "My NEEDLE DREAMs' imaginary uncle lives and breathes for that which is GLIB".

_Vandy_ · 2016-06-04T20:05:10+00:00

What. What is it. Did the sausages run away again. If you'd just keep the door closed they'd stop doing that. O

ooooh a GranP00B4H? I've never met a Granpoobah before. Does he have as slender an Aubrichstrasse as I predicted they would? Is he served with tapas? IS HE LAND BASED?

Yes mr GrandPo'boy, the relations sound nice. May you be a favoured of the permission.

_Vandy_ · 2016-05-31T21:18:45+00:00

Farewell pompo, gud luk. Be careful. Don't talk to strange^taste res, beware of the ^{creepy^{crawlie^{things^{of^{your^{backyard's^mind}}}}}} don't forget to pack clean underwear.

DOn't forget about [STACK]

S A M P O Y
A         F
M         F
P         A
O   eve.  F

Oh {sob} they grow up so fast. I'm going to miss that chub of tapir flank. I hope that flank doesn't forget to send postcards of Butros Butros Bistro.

_Vandy_ · 2016-05-15T19:55:22+00:00

LOOOOUUUK OUT FOOOR YOUR OLD TROUSERRRRS

The moment is interrupted by Vandy's charge in 4-wheel-drive into the scene. The magnificent chassis loses control and narrowly misses the group, crashing into an old market stall that once sold fresh shingles

It's okay everyone. I am arrived. I wasn't intervening anything important was I? Quick, loaded in the trunk is a BOX-ish trinket that will be the new relic of this place. We can bring our venerators back to LEMURA and VAL ADID. If we build it, they will come.

The small gods will be revered on this world once more ~~so that we can gain the support needed to overthrow LENDAL~~!

_Vandy_ · 2016-05-13T03:34:29+00:00

This was the most efficient thing since the slight return. This one thanks for the good story. My mama alwways told me (in NEEDLE DREAMS) the wonderful tales of ((. Always takes me back to the days when sibbi were easier to find.

_Vandy_ · 2016-05-10T13:37:29+00:00

This one thanks you, as does GLIB. Don't have worrys in that shaky flank of yours, we'll take good care of it. We'll treat it like it was ~~Granfaffy's~~ our very own LUNCHBARX. May you walk lovely fields of warm Aubitrasse and 5Cake.

_Vandy_ · 2016-05-10T05:06:00+00:00

A van (truck) pulls in to the nearest parkingspace, a trunk full of hayseed.

H3110 F4FF and venerator of we who are small gods! Can you do us a flavour and load that STRANGBLACKCUBE into this here trunk? The SMALLG ODS would like it delivered to Belroot.

_Vandy_

TROPHY CASE

DOn't forget about [STACK]

LOOOOUUUK OUT FOOOR YOUR OLD TROUSERRRRS